Mum wanted the best
Emily was sitting at the kitchen table, watching as Margaret, her motherinlaw, was busy chopping apples for an apple cake and chatting away with a sparkle in her eyes. Emily tried to tune her out. Itd been a month since Margaret moved in, and Emily was getting to the end of her rope. Her marriage to James had been great for five years, but lately she kept wondering if shed made a mistake marrying mums boy.
Emily, youre not listening to me at all! Margaret snapped, pausing her story and pursing her lips. Im saying James needs a new job. That firm hes at is a joke! I spoke to a friend who can take him on in her construction company. Better pay, better prospects, and he could be promoted within a year. You could just stay at home, you know.
Emily took a deep breath, trying to keep her irritation in check. Margaret, James decides where he works. Hes an adult.
Of course hes an adult, but youre his wife! Its your job to steer him. All that design work and those sketches thats not a mans trade! the motherinlaw fumed.
Hes an architectdesigner and hes brilliant, Emily said, teetering on the edge of a breakdown. The firm is great and he loves what he does.
Loves it, does he? Margaret waved her hands. What about the money? Theyre paying peanuts! And children? Youll have to raise them. What will you teach them?
Were not planning kids yet, Emily replied quietly, even though theyd already talked about it a few times. We have enough cash.
No plans, huh? Margaret set the knife down and turned to her daughterinlaw. I knew it! Good grief, what am I to do? Five years of marriage and still no children! I was already raising James when I was your age!
Emily fell silent. She wanted children a lot. But not right now; shed just defended her PhD and landed a senior lecturer post. She and James had talked it through, and he was fully behind her. She only needed three more years to cement her place in academia, then she could think about kids.
Seeing her quiet, Margaret assumed consent and kept going. Look at Lucy, my friends daughter shes already had three kids, and her husband, a proper builder, put a solid roof over their family.
Margaret, Emily tried again to stay calm, James and I will decide how we live. I respect you, but
What do you mean well decide? Margaret snapped. Im his mother! I know whats best for him, and for you too! Youre still young and green, dear. Mum never gives bad advice.
Emily shook her head and left the kitchen. Arguing was pointless. She went upstairs to their modest but cosy twobedroom house theyd bought two years ago with a mortgage, flopped on the bed and shut her eyes. She was exhausted lectures, marking scripts, and Margarets constant nagging were wearing her down.
That evening James came home, looking tired but cheerful. Guess what? Ive been promoted to lead designer on a new project! he announced, planting a kiss on Emily.
Congrats, love! she beamed.
James, whats the project? How much are they paying? Margaret jumped into the conversation.
Its a highend residential development, Mum. The pays definitely going up, James said, still in a good mood.
And how much? Margaret pressed.
Does it matter? Were fine, James muttered, a little annoyed.
Fine? What about the mortgage? The car? Your old clunker is about to fall apart! Margaret went on, Look at Sophies son
Mom, Im not Sophies son, James cut in. And lets not talk about that now. Im hungry.
During dinner Margaret kept throwing out life lessons. James mostly kept quiet, while Emily felt a growing knot of irritation. After they cleared the plates and were alone in the bedroom, she finally snapped.
James, I cant take this any longer! Your mum is sticking her nose into everything work, our plans, our life! When is she leaving?
Emily, she just wants whats best. You know how she is, he sighed.
I know, but theres a difference between her staying over on weekends and living with us fulltime!
Its only temporary, he tried to soothe her. Shes got the flat under renovation.
How long does a renovation take in a onebed flat? Its already been a month!
Right, Mum likes everything perfect. Just hang on a bit longer, okay?
Emily nodded. She couldnt just kick her motherinlaw out. Shed have to be patient, though she was running out of it.
The next morning, as Emily was getting ready for work, Margaret appeared in the bedroom doorway.
Emily, we need to talk, she said, perching on the edge of the bed.
Margaret, Im in a rush. Can we do this this evening? Emily tried to dodge.
No, its important, Margaret insisted. Ive been thinking you should quit your job.
Excuse me? Emily froze, comb brush in hand. Why?
Because you need to have children! You cant keep putting it off forever. I was talking to James yesterday; he wants a baby too.
James? Emilys heart thudded. Did he actually say that?
Not word for word, but you know I can read between the lines. He dreams of a son, Margaret replied, eyes shining.
Emily set her comb down and faced her motherinlaw. I appreciate your concern, really. But James and I have already decided to wait three years before thinking about kids. Its not the right time now.
Not the right time? When will it be? When you hit forty? I was your age when I had you, Margaret waved her hands.
I know you raised James at my age, but things have changed, Emily said. Now careers matter too.
Exactly! Back then family came first, now everyones chasing a career. Kids, family the younger generation just doesnt get it! Margaret exclaimed.
Emily checked the clock. Ive got to go. Well finish this conversation tonight with James.
The day flew by lectures, student consultations, a department meeting. Emily barely thought about the talk, but the anxiety crept back on the way home. What if Margaret was right? What if James really wanted a baby now and was keeping it from her?
When they walked in, Margaret had set a fancy dinner table, looking like it was a celebration. Whats the occasion? James asked, slipping off his shoes.
Family council! Margaret announced brightly. We have news.
Emily braced herself. She guessed what was coming and didnt want to discuss it over a celebratory meal.
Margaret poured wine and declared, Ive spoken to Mrs. Green, the director of a big construction firm, and she wants to hire you, James, as head of the design department!
James choked on his glass. Mum, what are you on about?
Your new job! Margaret beamed. Mrs. Green is offering double your current salary. Imagine the prospects!
What department? James asked, bewildered.
The design department, of course! Youre an architect after all, Margaret said, clearly proud. She thrust a folder of paperwork at him.
James pushed the papers away. Im happy where I am.
But James, think of the future! Think of the kids! Margaret raised her voice. We dont have any yet, do we?
Ive said were not planning any yet, James reminded her.
Thats why we need to plan now! Margaret shot back, eyes flicking to Emily. You said youd quit your job, right?
What? James turned to his wife. Youre saying Emilys quitting?
No! I never said that! Emily protested, her voice shaking. I never said I was leaving my lecturing post.
Margaret looked genuinely surprised. But you said youd think about my offer this morning.
I said wed talk about it tonight, Emily corrected. And Im not quitting. Well wait three years for kids, just as we agreed.
James nodded, though his face showed he was upset. Emily wondered if Margaret was right maybe James really wanted a child now.
Three years? Thats ridiculous! Margaret flailed her arms. Youll be thirtythree! Thats too late!
People have babies after thirty all the time now, James tried to calm her. I want us to decide when were ready.
Its not right! I had you at twentytwo, and that was perfect! I just want the best for you both grandchildren! Margaret insisted.
James spoke gently but firmly. We understand, Mum, but this is our life and our decision.
Exactly! Your life should be happy! And you, dear Emily, dont think career is everything, do you? Family comes first! Margaret turned to Emily, eyes softening a bit.
Emily took a deep breath. Margaret, I want both a good career and, someday, a family. Just not now.
Dinner ended on a sour note. Margaret retreated to her bedroom, James sat looking down at his plate, and Emily asked quietly, James, do you really want a baby now?
He looked up. No, love. Weve agreed on three years. Im just upset with Mums constant pressure.
You look upset, Emily said.
Its her being… overbearing. Its getting too much, he admitted. Ill talk to her tomorrow. Tonight wont help.
The next day, Margaret acted as if nothing had happened. She made breakfast, asked about their plans, and never mentioned the argument. Emily wasnt sure whether to be relieved or worried.
That evening, Emily came back from work to find Margaret hunched over a laptop, typing furiously.
Evening, Margaret, Emily said. What are you up to?
Oh! Emily! Margaret jumped, quickly closing the browser. I was just writing to a friend.
Emily caught the page title: How to convince your children to have a baby. She sighed. Can we have a chat?
About what, love? Margaret feigned surprise.
About you trying to control our life, Emily said calmly. Were adults, we make our own choices.
Control? Margaret protested. Im just helping, giving advice! Im a mother!
Youre Jamess mother, not mine, Emily replied firmly. Were both grownups now.
Margaret shook her head. A mother always knows best.
Maybe, Emily conceded. But the final say has to be ours.
James returned, looking a bit distressed. Whats happening? Emily asked, forgetting about the earlier talk.
My director called, James said, sinking into a chair. Someone asked about my salary and prospects.
What? Who? Emily asked.
Both turned to Margaret, who suddenly seemed interested in the pattern on the tablecloth. Mom? James said, doubtful.
I just wanted to make sure youre doing well at work! Margaret exclaimed, waving her hands. I called his office to check.
You called my boss? James asked, stunned. Why?
I was worried! I needed to know whats going on, Margaret replied, trying to sound innocent. And what did he say?
He said a strange woman was asking about me, James said, shaking his head. Mum, thats crossing a line.
A line? Margaret looked genuinely confused. Im your mother! There shouldnt be any lines!
There should be, James said quietly, clenching his fists. We need space for our own life.
Space? From your mother? Margaret looked hurt. Ive raised you my whole life! Now you talk about boundaries?
Yes, Mum. Boundaries, James repeated. Emily and I have a right to a private life.
Private life? Margaret scoffed. Ive done everything for you!
Exactly because youve done everything, we need to make our own choices, James said, his tone soft but steady. Well have children in three years, and Im happy with my job. Please respect that.
Margarets eyes welled up. I just dont want you to make mistakes!
Even if theyre mistakes, theyre ours, James replied gently. Well learn from them.
A quiet settled over the room. Emily smiled at James, grateful he finally said what hed been holding back.
How about a cuppa? she suggested, trying to lighten the mood.
Tea sounds perfect, James agreed.
Margaret nodded, still a little upset but beginning to understand.
The following morning Margaret announced she was moving back to her flat. Emily wasnt sure whether to feel relieved or sad. On one hand, life would be calmer without her constant meddling; on the other, she felt a pang of sympathy for a woman who truly believed she was doing the right thing.
Margaret, youre always welcome to visit, Emily said as they said goodbye. Just maybe give us a bit of breathing space.
Just give you space, Margaret repeated, then gave Emily a hug. I get it now. I always wanted whats best.
Emily returned the smile. We appreciate it. We just need to decide whats best for us.
When Margaret left, the house finally felt quiet. Emily and James enjoyed the peace, made plans, and didnt have to worry about anyone pushing their buttons.
Three years later, just as theyd planned, they became parents. Margaret had to wait a little longer, but when she first held their baby girl, her eyes lit up.
Shes beautiful, Margaret whispered, cradling the newborn. You both made the right choice.
Emily and James exchanged a look. It seemed Margaret finally understood what respecting anothers decision meant. The road had been tough, but it was worth it.
Now the whole family gets together often. Margaret visits, plays with the granddaughter, but she no longer tries to run their lives. Shes learned to listen and accept their choices, even when she doesnt agree.
Emily and James realised that Margarets urge to control came from love and a desire to protect them from possible mistakes. It just wasnt always expressed in the right way.
One afternoon, while they were all sharing tea, Margaret said, You know, Ive learned a lot from you. I used to think mum always knows best. Now I see that best is when each of us decides how to live.
Yes, Mum, we value your care, James replied with a grin. But we also need to make our own choices.
And thats what matters, Emily added. What we wanted and what turned out. Weve got a wonderful family.
Margaret looked around the room son, daughterinlaw, granddaughter and finally felt shed gotten exactly what shed hoped for, just not in the way shed imagined.
