I stayed with you, I swore Ethel, Ive lost my way, my husband pleaded, I cannot explain how this happened. Forgive me, I beg you! I swear I will never speak to her again. Ill change my work if you wish. Shall we leave? Just dont abandon me
September greeted Ethel with a cool yet gentle sun. Yellow leaves swirled at her feet, the air was scented with damp earth and the promise of autumn. She hurriedly packed suitcases. Ahead lay a long journey to the Lake District, where her mother lay bedridden with a sudden illness.
At first it seemed a mere cold, but a dread settled deep in Ethels chest, growing each day. The doctors delivered a frightening diagnosis that fell upon her like an icy shower. Her husband, George, remained at home; he could not accompany her. Ethel had to make the only sensible choice: take her son, Tommy, and fly immediately to her mother. Thus began their harsh, exhausting battle against precious time.
The first three months blurred into endless doctor visits, collections of test results, and frantic searches for a competent physician. When a brief lull finally appeared, Ethel returned home, yet the feeling that something had shifted lingered. The house was still tidy, the fire still crackled, George still tended the garden, but Ethels thoughts seemed forever stuck in the Lake District. The home was not abandonedGeorge tried to keep the routine, the comfort, the carebut Ethels focus had moved elsewhere.
Just as her mother steadied a little, Ethel was forced once more to pack. Tommy, weary from flights and hospital corridors yet obedient, traveled with her again. Planes, doctors, a flickering hope that ignited then faded. By March there was a slight reprieve: her mother improved enough for Ethel to enjoy a short homecoming of a few weeks.
In that brief calm, truth, like a stubborn weed, pushed its way into the light. Tommy complained that his phone had slipped into the bath. Ethel recalled a tip from a womens magazineplace the device in a bowl of rice.
She retrieved the smartphone, switched it on. The screen lit up, a new message appeared. George lay dozing peacefully on the settee.
Tommy, look, your phone works, Ethel said, handing him the device. He lazily thumbed through the notifications and froze.
Whats this? Ethel leaned closer, noticing his stiff posture. Im falling in love with you more and more. What does that mean?
George snapped upright, coughclearing to appear calm, though his hands trembled slightly.
Ethel, youve got it all wrong, he blurted. Its just a joke, a colleague at work was messing about. Were only fooling around
Joke? Ethel crossed her arms, feeling a chill despite the warm room. Fooling around?
Im being honest, its nonsense. We just work together, nothing more.
Are you sure? Because messages like that arent usually sent by just colleagues, she retorted, studying his face for any hint of deceit.
Im certain. Youre worrying yourself because of Mums illness. Lets leave this, go for a walk. The suns out, we need some fresh air.
His insistence on a stroll seemed a desperate attempt to change the subject. Exhausted by three months of relentless stress, Ethel let herself be persuaded. She blamed it on nerves and fatigue, and they walked, but the uneasy peace lasted only moments.
As soon as they returned, another message from the same colleague arrived, this one far more explicit. A sting of jealousy pricked Ethel, yet she chose first to confront George rather than launch a scene.
Tommy, look at what she sent now. This isnt a joke.
He took the phone, his face turning pale.
Its its a mistake. Ill tell her to stop.
Youll write to her? Or should I do it myself? Ethels voice trembled.
Ethel, I love only you. Theres no need for a fight over nonsense.
Soon the cycle repeated: another flight, another stint with her mother, doctors, tests, hospital rooms. Tommy remained the sole constant in the chaos. Her mothers condition eased a little, granting Ethel a brief sigh of relief.
March came again. Her mother steadied, and Ethel managed another trip home, hoping to restore some balance. But balance refused to return. A quick glance at the messages that day haunted her; she could not simply erase those words.
She decided not to wait for another excuse and confronted George directly.
Tommy, I need the truth. I cant live with your vague explanations.
I told you everything! It was just a poortimed prank. I dont understand why you raise it again.
Because Im uneasy, Ethel answered firmly.
George stiffened.
Ethel, why are you making this worse? Everything is already complicated
I spoke with your colleague, Ethel said, her tone turning icecold, she reached out herself.
He froze.
She wrote, Ethel continued, eyes locked on his, Yes, I love you. Yes, we were together. What will you say to that, Tommy?
He remained silent, his face draining to ash.
Leave, Ethels voice quivered with restrained emotion, take your things and go.
No, he whispered, youre making a terrible mistake! I never did anything with her. She imagined it, and you believed some lunatic!
I dont believe you! Ethel snapped, thrusting the phone forward, displaying the screenshot where the other woman confessed everything. Heres your joke!
George hung his head. An eternity of silence followed. He finally lifted his gaze, a mixture of guilt and desperation shimmering in his eyes.
Fine. I slipped. I love only you, Ethel, I always have. Its true.
Slip? Ethel laughed bitterly, three years of lies in the face of a woman! How do you disrespect someone so profoundly?
Its not a lie, I truly love you! Its just that you werent there often and I
Not there? Only cowards act that way! she shouted, stepping back, youre a coward!
But I didnt leave, Ethel, I didnt desert you! he pleaded, trying to take her hand, Were together
Ethel withdrew her hand. It no longer mattered whether he stayed or left; the pain he caused eclipsed everything else.
You didnt leave? she asked, voice thick, You suffered, you drifted between us, but you didnt abandon
I couldnt! I love you!
Love? Ethel shook her head, No, you stayed because it was convenient, not because you loved. I have no patience for your motives now. I must go. Mums condition has worsened.
Another plane, another journey to the Lake District, doctors, wards. The fight continued, now bearing both her mothers illness and her husbands betrayal
In August her mother passed away. By New Years Eve Ethel drifted through days like a nightmare, performing tasks mechanically. The house she once regarded as a fortress now felt foreign. Tommy was her anchor, the sole reason she did not dissolve into the endless grey.
When the first months of despair faded, she partially awoke, yet never fully recovered. Every glance at George seared her. She could not bear to see his face, hear his voice. Still she held on, driven by the need to care for Tommy, who seemed to sense his mothers turmoil.
George, realizing the depth of his transgression, tried to mend things. He stayed close, offered help, begged forgiveness, pleaded to move on as before.
Ethel, please, lets try again. I made a dreadful mistake. I know. I never left when you went to your mother. Isnt that proof of my love?
Her mind replayed the messages shed stumbled upon while clearing her phones memory. Words she hadnt noticed in the heat of panic now rose with terrifying clarity.
You know you wrote to her, You are my everything, he had sent.
And her recollection of her lovers reply:
Did I tell your wife everything right? Someone must have pushed her. Any woman would have left, but you youre a rag!
Ethel watched Tommy tinkering with his building blocks in the corner. He reminded her of herself as a childfocused, clever. He did not deserve a home where his mother suffered lies.
George entered, holding two mugs of tea.
Here, hot herbal tea. Please, drink.
Ethel took the mug but did not sip.
I cant, Tommy
We agreedtime heals. Give us time. Ill do anything for your forgiveness.
Time? she smiled bitterly, time has shown youre a master liar. You stayed because leaving was inconvenient, not because I was your love. Her words prove it. She wrote to you that everything was right.
It was foolish of her! I banned her, I said it was over!
You didnt ban her, Tommy. You simply chose the story that suited you at the moment, so I wouldnt fall apart.
Ethel breathed deeply.
I cannot forgive. Not now. Perhaps never. But I must live. Tommy must live. Well live apart for a while. Ill take him to his aunt for a couple of weeks, and Ill stay with a friend. I need to understand what I want next.
George turned pallid. He grasped that this was not a pause but a genuine chance to lose everything.
Ethel, dont do this. Please. Ill see a therapist, any specialist. Ill quit my job if need be. Just dont leave.
Im not leaving you, Tommy. Im leaving the lies, Ethel whispered, I cant love you now, and I wont live in falsehood any longer. Well talk when I return, if I ever return
She never returned. Two months passed with them apart, then Ethel made the final decisionshe would not keep the family together, not even for Tommy. George changed jobs, cut ties with the other woman. Yet Ethel knows that the young woman will forever linger in his and her memory, a fact she cannot ever reconcile with. Never.
