Ill tell you about Lotties hardwon happiness. She was left on her own very early. Her father had died long before, and her mother passed away while Lottie was still in her final year at Manchester University. It was a rough patch her dissertation was looming and then that tragedy struck. The only people who stepped in were Jacobs parents, the only family she had left.
Jacob and Lottie had met back in their second year and had been together ever since. His mother, Martha, and his father, Peter, treated Lottie kindly, with warmth, and they respected her mothers memory. Everyone was looking forward to the day they finished their studies and tied the knot.
They kept the wedding modest, and Lottie was bitterly sad that her mum had missed the ceremony by a whisker. She kept recalling her mothers last advice: Before you get married, you must get a full checkup, love. Lottie knew exactly why her mother warned her. As a child shed suffered a serious injury when she slipped off an icy slide. The doctors feared it might affect her future womanly health. They kept an eye on her, but no one could give a definite answer.
That was hardly comforting. Before the wedding she went through the checkup her mother had urged, and although she was generally recovering well, the question of whether she could have children remained open.
First, Lottie spoke with her future motherinlaw, who thought it over and said, If theres even the slightest chance, dont lose hope yet; Ill talk to Jake myself.
After the stag night, Jacob arrived at Lotties flat a little tipsy and clearly upset. I really want children, Lottie, you understand? What if we cant? Would we still be a family? Lottie broke down and told him the decision was his, but they could try. The doctors had left a sliver of hope, and Jacob was the only man she had ever loved.
The first year of marriage brought no positive result. Martha, who adored her daughterinlaw, worried just as much as Lottie. Jacob and his father put a lot of effort into keeping the family together and sent Lottie to a specialist clinic in Bristol for the Womens Shield programme. It had a good track record and could help realise her dream. Yet it didnt work. Two years later the reality was clear there was no hope. Lottie fell into despair. Jacob did what he could to support her, but tension crept into the household. Jacob didnt blame Lottie, yet he couldnt accept a childless life either.
Lottie suggested adoption: Lets take a little one in and raise him as our own. Jacob refused. That child will never be mine, and I cant give him a fathers love I dont feel. Understand me, Lottie, I just cant do that. Strangely, his parents backed her. They knew how much their son longed for a child and felt it would be wrong to let a child grow up unloved.
Lottie herself brought up divorce, even though she still loved Jacob. She didnt want to torment him. Lets part ways, Jake. Youre still young; youll find another wife and have children. Jacob didnt decide right away. When he met Olivia, a lively new colleague whod just started at the firm, he felt this was his destiny.
The conversation with Lottie was painful for him. He thought he was abandoning her, leaving her to fate, and she replied, We each have our own fate, Jake. You deserve a better one. Im okay with this. Dont blame yourself. That very evening Jacob left Lotties flat, taking his things. Her parentsinlaw came over, apologising for not steering Jake away from his drunken, despondent visits. They shared tea, spoke from the heart, and promised never to turn away from her, saying she would always be like a daughter to them.
All those words meant little. Lottie thanked them, agreed to everything, and then wept through the night. Their separation was swift; they didnt split the assets. Lottie stayed alone in the family flat shed shared with Jacob, while he soon remarried.
She didnt stay single for long. A charming, wellmeaning man named Paul entered her life, trying his best to look after her, but Lottie never fell for him. Her exhusband haunted her dreams, never looking happy his eyes sad, his hands reaching out but never quite touching. She fought the thoughts of Jacob, yearning to change her life.
One winter Lottie fell seriously ill. One evening shed been at Pauls, prepared dinner, tidied up, and then felt faint. By nightfall her temperature spiked. Paul called an ambulance and kept her at his flat. The next morning he was quiet and thoughtful, tended to her without saying much. When she finally recovered, he confessed, That night I stayed by your side almost the whole time. You were mumbling his name, grabbing my hand, calling him Jake, begging me not to leave. Do you still love him? Lottie didnt try to spare his feelings. Yes. I love him. Im probably a oneheart kind of woman. Its hard, Paul. I cant build a relationship without love. She left him for good. He didnt argue.
Soon after, Lottie learned Jacob had a longawaited son. That was another blow; the pain felt final and irreparable. She lived for three years in a fog. Occasionally Jacobs parents visited, as promised, offering moral support. She held no grudge against them nor against Jacobs new wife.
One day she saw Jacob in the park with his son but didnt approach; he didnt notice her. Tears fell again, the love unspent and the sting of fate fresh. Eventually she began to pull herself together, consoling herself with the thought that he was happy. Jacobs parents spoke of his good wife, who was caring though a bit distant, and of their grandson Eddie, whom they adored, urging Lottie not to bear a grudge.
On Lotties birthday Jacob called, just as a friend, wishing her well and asking about her life. The call tipped her emotions once more, and she decided it was best to keep her distance.
A year later tragedy struck again: Olivia fell seriously ill. Martha called her, saying there was little hope, weeping for her son and grandson. Lottie, though far away, felt a pang for them. She could do nothing to save Olivia. At the cemetery Lottie stood behind the mourners, not knowing why shed come, just unable to stay away. A former motherinlaw embraced her and whispered, Thank you, dear. You hold no malice, no spite. Jacob never noticed her then. He called months later, short and polite, asking to come over. Lottie, still feeling his pain, invited him in.
He had aged beyond his years, his spirit wilted. They sat at a modestly set table and talked about life. Why dont you marry again? he asked. Lottie answered simply, I love you, and I need no other. Jacob wept, a sight Lottie had never seen before.
Lets go to the grandparents; I need to pick up Eddie, then we can have a walk, if youre willing. Eddie was a sweet, shy boy understandable, given hed lost his mother so young. Lottie tried to stay neutral, not pestering him, while he watched her with curious eyes. Their meetings became a regular weekend habit, no obligations, just two people easing loneliness.
Then Martha called, saying Jacob was thinking of asking Lottie back, though he was still undecided. Hed been in sorrow for a year, and the child suffered. Lottie phoned Jacob straight away and said shed agree there was no one dearer to her. They moved back together. It wasnt easy; Jacob remained cold and terse, and Lottie had to learn to love a child that wasnt hers.
Finally, on Lotties next birthday, little Eddie handed her a drawing of the three of them standing under a sunny sky, with the childish scrawl Mum above her head. Lottie burst into tears, hugged the boy and whispered, Your mum watches you from above, proud of how wonderful you are. I love you too. Youre now my son.
They live peacefully now. Jacobs heart thawed, he accepted her love and became the caring, gentle man he once was. Lottie finally feels happiness, having reclaimed the dreams she chased alone for years. She never was devout, but she sometimes visits a church and lights a candle for the soul of the woman who left this world, yet gave her a beloved son and a caring husband.
