15October2025 Diary
My niece, Poppy Clarke, turned up at my flat in London, only to be cross because I wasnt feeding her. Susan, my sister, lives up in Manchester, and her daughter has been dreaming of a place at the university that happens to be here in London. Shell eventually move into a hall of residence, but for now shes stayed a couple of weeks to sort out exams or perhaps just to hand in paperwork. I havent been involved in the redtape; I merely know that a preuniversity visit is perfectly normal. Susan agreed that Poppy could crash with me for the meantime.
We never spoke about who would put food on the table. Since her mother kept quiet on the matter, they were left to sort it out among themselves. I walked in to find Poppy perched on the sofa, looking as angry as a storm cloud. Whats the matter? I asked. She said shed expected a warm lunch from me. I snapped back, Im not going to feed you, and Im living on my own timetable. Ive got to be out the door now! Call your mother, ask her to transfer a few pounds to your account, then pop to the shop for some biscuits, a loaf and a cuppa. Tea, by the way, Im out of that too! Youre eighteen, you can manage that yourself.
Helen Clarke, Poppys mum, hasnt spoken to me in ages and has no clue that since the kids fled the nest my husband vanished into the unknown, and I threw myself into work. My schedule is a right shambles, so Im only home on an irregular basis and my energy for chores has deserted me. A good nights sleep is a luxury, even when I manage to get one.
Im not about to sacrifice anything for a guest. Its lovely, of course, to see Poppy shes grown into a proper young lady but Im no longer the freewheeling Aunt Lucy who once could whip up a feast in a flash. Let her do the shopping, chop the veg, boil the potatoes, fry the fish, or, better still, buy a readymade meal so she doesnt wreck the hob or the flat.
She fumed, then settled down, and now broods in silence each day. I suspect she was counting on a full board as if she were still living at home with her mum. Maybe things will smooth over. Its hard to drop the mantle of the everhelpful aunt overnight after years of keeping the peace with everyone in my circle. Im still amiable enough to offer a free bed, but the service part is missing. Ive seen a counsellor for advice on how to gently tell my relatives that Im not as functional as I used to be they need to expect a little less from me.
Lesson learned: kindness has its limits, and looking after yourself is just as important as looking after anyone else.
