Im living in London while my sister, Karen, is based up in Manchester. Her daughter, Poppy, is hoping to get into the university thats in my city, and shell eventually move into a hall of residence. For now shes in town for a couple of weeks either to sit some exams or to sort her paperwork in person. Karen has arranged that Poppy will stay with me while she does that.
We never talked about who would put food on the table. If her mum stays quiet about it, they usually sort it between themselves. I walk into the lounge and see Poppy huddled on the sofa, looking sour. I ask whats the matter, and she tells me shed expected a warm lunch from me. I snap back, Im not going to feed you, and Ive got my own schedule to keep. Ive got to be off now! Call your mum and have her pop some money onto your card, then you can buy biscuits, a scone and have them with a cuppa. Buy the tea too Ive run out! Youre 18, act like an adult!
Her mum hasnt spoken to me in ages and she doesnt know that once the kids flew the nest my husband vanished and I threw myself into work. My job is relentless, so Im only home irregularly and Ive no energy left for domestic chores. A decent nights sleep is a luxury these days.
Im not about to sacrifice for a guest. Its lovely, of course, to see Poppy shes grown into a proper young lady but Im no longer the carefree Auntie Lucy who could have whipped up a feast in no time. Let her do the shopping, chopping, boiling, frying or steaming herself. Better still, let her buy something readymade so she doesnt ruin my stove or flat.
Shes now stewing, calming down only to brood in silence each day, apparently hoping for a full board from me and her mum. Maybe things will settle. After years of keeping the peace with everyone in the family, its hard to drop the role of the everhelpful aunt. Even now Im still friendly: Ive offered a free bed, albeit without the fullservice element. Ive gone to a counsellor to learn how to gently explain to relatives that Im not as functional as I used to be they need to expect less from me.
