Sorry I missed your birthday, mate. Had a bit of a mishap. Yeah, Paul, about skipping your do the other dayI ended up hitting a kid with my car. Vincent took a swig of his whiskey before continuing. Was leaving a job site, barely pulled onto the road when this little lad dives straight onto my bonnet. Can you believe it? Lucky I wasnt speeding.
I leapt out, proper panicked, but the boy was finejust shook up. Little ginger thing, no older than six. Wherere your parents? I asked. Mums at home, he said, making tea. So I said, Right, lets go have a word with her, sort this out. He led me to his flat, pointed at the door, then hid behind me like I was a human shield. A woman answeredstunning, but dead tired, like life had worn her down.
Sorry to bother you, I started, somethings happened. Dont freak out, but I just knocked your son over with my car. Hes alright, thoughhere he is. I nudged the kid forward. Want me to call the police? She just sighed. No need. This is the fifth time hes done this.
What?
Oliver, go to your room, she told him, firm but gentle. Then to me: Come through to the kitchen. Fancy a cuppa? Or coffee? Her tea was proper lovely, steeped with herbs.
Sorry about this, said Emilythat was her name. A few days back, Oliver overheard me telling a mate how hard it is raising him alone. Now hes decided to find me a husband by throwing himself at cars. Youre the fifth bloke hes tried it on. Nearly gave two of them heart attacks. I keep telling him hes all I need, but hes stubborn, like his grandad. Once he gets an idea, thats it. Your car alright? I can cover the repairs if
I cut her off. Didnt care about the car. Because right then, Paul, I knew. There she wasno makeup, in a tatty dressing gown, exhaustedand I thought, *Bloody hell, Im done for.* If I walked away now, I might as well throw myself off a bridge.
Thisll sound mad, I said, but how about I take you both to the cinema? Make it up to you? No need, she said. Oliver might get the wrong idea again.
Dont fancy me, then? I joked. Its not that. Just feels like Im sending my kid out as bait. Proper grim.
Yeah, and now I look like some opportunist, I laughed. Guess were both damned. May as well share the pyre, eh?
Dont remember what babbled next, but the next day, I picked them up. We saw *Toy Story*, went for a Nandos after. Then well, long story short, Paulthats why Im here. Were getting hitched in June. Need a photographer. You in? Look how photogenic they are. Vincent pulled out his phone, showing a snap of a grinning redhead and a gap-toothed little boy.
Turns out Cupidon doesnt have wings. Hes got freckles and missing baby teeth. And his names Oliver. Soon enough, though, hell have my surname. No doubt about that.
