28December 2025 Diary
I cant shake the feeling that everyone thinks Im selfish. My brother Matthews struggling, yet Ive turned him away. Mother called me this morning, demanding I collect all my things from her flat in Manchester.
Your stuff is blocking the hallway, she said, and we cant even get around the place any more.
The call came after I refused to hand Matthew any money for the deposit on a new flat. I wasnt offering a loan; I was being asked to give him my savings outright, knowing full well he would never pay me back.
When I said no, Matthew stormed out of my flat, fuming. He seemed convinced I should just hand over everything I have because he has a family and children, whereas I dont.
I need to vent because I feel the family is treating me unfairly, especially with the holidays looming.
When I moved to Leeds for university, I immediately took a parttime job. At first I lived in halls, then I shared a rented flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I made ends meet and helped Mother at the same time.
Mother never accepted cash directly; she always asked me to bring useful thingsclothes, shoes, household items. Every time I visited, Id load the car with bags of groceries.
Mother now lives in a threebedroom council flat with Matthew. Father died three years ago.
Matthew never cared for education. After school he went to work in the Netherlands, and the only thing he managed to buy there was an old car. Back in the UK he became a taxi driver.
Later he married Claire and moved into Mothers flat with her. Money has always been tight for them; Matthew lives day to day. As soon as their wages hit the bank, they spend it all.
Mother and Claires parents have regularly bailed them out. Matthew knows there will always be someone to prop him up, so he never really tries to earn more or improve his finances.
Now Matthew and Claire have two children, with a third on the way. Theyve decided Mothers flat is too cramped and are looking at buying their own place.
I live with my partner James in a rented twobedroom flat. We plan to marry, but weve postponed the wedding until the timing is right. Our incomes are steadyJames works as a software engineer, and I run several online shops.
Were careful with our spending and are saving for a deposit on a house so we can be independent after the wedding.
Mother knew about our plans, yet she hinted to Matthew that I could be asked for help.
They want to buy a house but have no deposit, Mother told me.
When Matthew came over and plainly asked for cash, I said no.
He was livid, assuming I owed him simply because he has children and I dont.
Later Mother called again, sounding exasperated:
You have no conscience, Emily. Cant you see how hard it is for Matthew? Hes your brother; you could have helped. You only ever think of yourself.
She added: Come collect your things from our flat. We cant move around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Matthews angry, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill gather my belongings and store them in our rented flat. When James and I finally buy our own house, Ill make space for them there.
I could have lent Matthew money, but I know hed never repay it. He never even asked for a loanhe just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has kids.
Just because hes a father
How would you have reacted in my shoes?
