Jealousy ate me from the inside out: when I saw my wife step out of a strangers car, I lost all restraint and wrecked my life.
I stood frozen by the kitchen window, watching the black night through the glass. My fist clenched a halfempty glass of whisky. Every tick of the clock sounded in the silence, each second dragging cruelly.
She was late.
Far too late.
Then headlights cut through the street.
A sleek black saloon pulled up in front of our terraced house. My heart sank. Behind the wheel sat a tall, confident man I didnt recognise.
The passenger door swung open.
And she got out.
A cold shiver ran down my spine.
She smileda light, natural, conspiratorial smile. She leaned toward him, whispered something, and he laughed, a soft, intimate chuckle.
She shut the door and walked back toward the house, oblivious to the storm building inside me.
My blood boiled.
Who was that man? How long had this been going on? Was this the first time?
She opened the front door and slipped inside, tossing her handbag onto the table as if nothing had happened.
Who was that? My voice was low, sharp.
She stopped dead, stared at me, surprised. What?
That man in the car. Who is he?
She let out a long sigh, irritation clear on her face. Thomas, not again Hes Julies husband. He just gave me a lift, thats all. Are you serious?
I couldnt hear her any longer.
All I could feel was a dull, seething rage consuming me. A hot fire in my skull, a flood of dark thoughts.
My hand rose before I could stop it.
The slap cracked through the room.
She recoiled, hand pressed to her face. A thin stream of blood trickled from her nose.
The silence that followed was unbearable.
She stared at me, frozen, eyes wide with terror.
A knot tightened in my throat.
I had crossed a line.
A line I could never step back from.
She didnt scream. She didnt cry. Nothing.
She simply grabbed her coat and left.
The next morning a bailiff handed me the divorce papers.
I had lost everything even my son.
I put up with your jealousy for years, she said in our final conversation, her voice as cold as ice. But violence, never.
I begged her forgiveness, swearing it was a mistake, a moment of madness that would never happen again.
She wouldnt hear a word of it.
Then the final blow came in court she claimed I was also violent with our son.
A lie.
A vicious lie that sealed my fate.
I had never raised a hand against him. I had never shouted at him.
But who would believe a man who had already struck his wife?
The judge didnt hesitate.
She was granted sole custody.
Me? A few hours a week, a supervised visit in a neutral setting.
No nights at home. No mornings where I could make him breakfast.
For half a year my life boiled down to those scant hours.
Those rare moments when he ran to me laughing, his little arms looping around my neck.
Then, each time, I had to watch him go. Again and again.
Until the day he said something that turned my world upside down.
The truth my fiveyearold son revealed.
He was growing up. He understood more.
One afternoon, while he was pushing his tiny cars across the coffee table, he said in an innocent voice:
Dad, last night Mum wasnt home. There was a lady with me.
My heart stopped.
A lady? What lady? I asked, trying to stay calm.
I dont know. She comes when Mum goes out at night.
A chill ran through me.
Where does she go?
He shrugged. She doesnt tell me.
My fingers clenched.
I had to know.
When the truth finally emerged, a knot formed in my throat.
She had hired a nanny.
A stranger.
While I scraped by for any extra time with my own boy, she left him in the care of a foreign woman.
I grabbed my phone and called her.
Why is a stranger looking after our son when Im right here?
Her voice was calm, icy. Because its easier.
Easier?! My anger roared. Im his father! If he cant be with you, he must be with me!
She sighed. Thomas, Im not going to drive across the city every time I have an appointment. Stop making everything about you.
My phone trembled in my hand.
What could I do? Sue her? Fight for custody?
And risk losing everything again?
One mistake. One moment of madness.
And everything was taken from me.
But my son?
I will not let him slip away.
I will fight.
Because he is the only thing left to me.
