Emily, really? Again? I asked, dropping my briefcase onto the kitchen chair. Whos this little one shes expecting you to look after? For herself or for us? Ive just come home from work, hoping for a decent dinner and a quiet evening with you, and youve got me babysitting someone elses child.
Hes not exactly a stranger, Emily murmured, shivering a little. Honestly, Im not thrilled about it either. But Claire asked me she needs her nails done, and you cant really go to the salon with a baby in tow.
I tugged at the lapels of my jacket and flung it on the back of a chair. I needed to feed my nephew, and that was far easier in something more comfortable. The odds of ending up with a smear of baby puree on my shirt were about fifty-fifty.
I get it, love, but you cant just skip the nail job, can you? Are you the only one she can rely on? Why does our family feel like a nursery?
Moms still around, but she cant be on call every day, Emily began, reaching for a packet of macaroni.
And you, apparently, can, I cut in. Can for everyone except yourself and me.
At first my face twisted into a scowl, then I exhaled and softened. I knew my wife wasnt my enemy; she was simply indispensable.
Emily, if you dont get her off your back, shell keep riding you like a stubborn horse, and youll be the one to blame. Whoevers driving the carriage gets the bumps.
Emily pretended to be engrossed in the stew, but deep down she knew I was right. She just didnt know how to handle it. She didnt want to become a second mother to her nephew, nor did she want to clash with the rest of the family.
It all started innocently enough.
Emily, Im feeling poorly and Ive got little Billy in my arms. I need to pop to the chemist, but I cant leave him alone. Im scared I wont make it back in time. Help me, please.
Without a second thought, Emily rallied to the front line, ignoring the fact that a delivery service might have solved the problem. Her sister was ill, possibly seriously, and she felt obliged to rescue her.
Soon the rescues became routine.
Can you pick up the phone from the repair shop? Claire would ring. Out of groceries again? Emily would dash off. Package arrived at the collection point? Emily would sprint like a personal courier.
Emily could afford it. She worked remotely with a flexible schedule, so she could step away when needed. That didnt mean it was convenient. Claires house was a fifteenminute walk away; roundtrip, plus the time spent shopping, queuing, and the little errands in between, easily ate up an hour.
Emily now worked mainly evenings and sometimes nights, when the house was quiet. My own reaction to that was far from thrilled, and hers wasnt much better.
She tried to talk to her sister.
Claire, whats going on with Paul? Doesnt he help at all? Emily asked gently as she handed over another parcel from the courier service.
He does, but hes exhausted from work. Hell sit with the baby while I rush a shower, and the rest is on me, Claire replied, defending her husband but not thinking of anyone else.
Claires mother, too, was a constant source of strain.
Dont even mention her! Claire snapped, rolling her eyes. I dont want anything to do with that old crone. When she shows up, its a mental marathon till nightfall. Shes not a lady, shes a wellofunwanted advice. Better to starve than ask her for anything.
Emily frowned. Is there truly no one else? Oksana has a child of a similar age maybe you could team up, one watches while the other runs errands. Or Christina, who doesnt work at all.
I feel odd pulling strangers into it, Claire admitted. Theyre not obliged, after all.
Its easy to lean on your own, Emily sighed.
Thats when Emily decided to try saying no. Even without my prompting, she knew something had to change.
The opportunity came quickly: the next day Claire called, saying shed booked a slot at the hairdresser.
Emily, could you stay with Billy for an hour? Im due in about an hour, she demanded, her tone bordering on command. She wasnt asking any more; she was declaring that Emilys help was a given. It infuriated Emily. Why should she upend her entire day just so Claire could get a trim?
No, Claire. I cant today. Im sorry, Emily replied.
What do you mean, you cant? Claire pressed.
I cant solve all your problems. I have a life too, Emily said firmly.
I get it, but what am I supposed to do? Youre the only one I have. Ive already booked, I cant let the stylist down. Shes a tough customer; she wont take anyone else, Claire whined.
Claire, you didnt even ask me before booking. Im not your errandgirl or a nanny. Sort it out yourself, Emily snapped back.
Fine, Claire muttered after a pause, looking hurt. Its easy for you to say that, you dont have kids. You dont know how hard it is.
She knew, of course, because Billy was slowly becoming her son in all but name. Emily kept quiet; she was a nonconfrontational sort, and even this refusal felt like a small triumph.
Claire didnt give up. She enlisted our mother.
Emily, how could you? Shes your sister, she has a baby, and you turn her down! Shes alone. Who else will help her if not us? Mother scolded.
Mom, when she asked me to fetch medicines I went because it was urgent. But now she calls every day for the smallest things today she wants a hair appointment! Is that really an emergency? Emily replied.
Shes a woman; she wants to look nice. Put yourself in her shoes, mother urged.
Emily raised an eyebrow. No one had ever put themselves in her shoes.
Mom, if youre so clever, why dont you help her? Emily asked.
Me? I can barely get out of bed! Youre the young one; its easier for you, Mother replied.
The words young, childless, still at home were tossed at Emily constantly. Shed had enough. That day she finally drew a line and refused to help.
In retaliation, both mother and Claire gave her the cold shoulder for a whole week, acting as if she didnt exist. Someone else might have taken it in stride, but Emily felt displaced, wondering how to mend things.
When, a week later, Claire called again, asking for babysitting while she got her nails done, Emily relented. She hated herself for it, but she slipped back into the freenanny role. It seemed there were only two choices: become an outcast in her own family or endure the burden.
Emily, youre too soft, then you swing the other way, my husband said after hearing the whole thing. Be more careful. Otherwise shell never free herself.
Emily sighed, nodding. That night she lay awake, plotting a way to say no without sparking fresh grievances.
Her phone rang predictably the next day.
Emily, I cant keep up. The babys running a fever, crying nonstop, and Im running around like a hamster! I cant even sit down, let alone use the loo. Come over, well manage the fourhanded chaos together, Claire pleaded.
I cant. I have work. Weve got strict monitoring software on our computers nowno breaks, even for lunch. Its like being in an office all day, Emily lied.
Silence hung for a few seconds. Claire seemed to be looking for a weak spot.
Please! Just once, the last time! Ask someone to cover you, or take a day off, Claire begged.
Emily had no real choice. She pretended to concede.
Alright Ill figure something out, she said, hanging up.
She quickly messaged Paul for his motherinlaws number, explaining that his wife urgently needed help. Paul didnt refuse, and the motherinlaw, surprised but willing, agreed to swing by Claires.
Emily could even tell exactly when the motherinlaw arrived, as Claire bombarded her with messages.
Whats wrong with you?! Claire typed furiously. Why did you get her on me?
Didnt you need help? I asked her to pitch in, Emily replied coolly. I cant be there myself, you know that.
Claire read the messages and stayed silent. In that moment Emily felt shed won a tiny battle. It wasnt a war, but it was a victory. Claire would still whine, Mum would still be disgruntled, but now the sister would have to manage on her own or learn to rely on those who actually wanted to help.
