Where are you going? Lucy asked, her voice edged with suspicion.
Im back, as you can see, Victor said, flashing a grin while gesturing at the duffel bags spilling onto the floor.
Since when? Lucy tilted her head, the question hanging like a question mark in a foggy night. Its only been six months.
Lucy, I cant keep pretending, Victor sighed heavily, his breath a cloud of regret. The thought of walking away from you tears my heart to shreds. Im torn apart, and I cant stand seeing you suffer like this.
Suffering? Lucy echoed, a faint smile wavering.
At least I wont have to paint myself into a corner, Victor chuckled, his tone dripping with irony. You can pretend, in front of everyone, that my leaving meant nothing and that youve got it all together.
I get it, you know. Its hardalone, with the baby.
Mmm, Lucy murmured, lost in thought.
Did you change the lock? Victor clanged a set of keys in his hand. It must have broken! Heres the proofI didnt oil it in time, and now its stuck.
Lucy fell silent, the awkwardness of the moment broken by the dull grind of the lift doors opening on the landing.
Dad? Sam asked, his voice trembling.
Yes, son, Victor crouched, spreading his arms wide. Im moving back in! Come here, Ill hug you. He reached for the boy, who glanced at his mother, who gave a small nod.
Alright then, Lucy said, stepping aside. Come in, youll see.
Victor entered the flat as if he owned the place, yet he walked to the kitchen like a guest in a house of strangers.
A new key rack stood in the hallway, a sleek shoe cabinet beside it, a different lamp casting soft amber light, fresh interior doors that whispered of new beginnings. When Lucy passed the bathroom, she flicked a switch.
Whats that? Victor asked.
You remember how damp it always felt in there? Lucy reminded him. I installed a vent so the door could stay open.
Twenty minutes later who cares! she waved away. Tea or coffee?
Make coffee, Victor said, perching on a brandnew stool.
Lucy pulled a pod from its tin, dropped it into the machine, and pressed the button.
Ill just change my clothes, she said, smiling.
Fine, Victor replied, his hand brushing the air calmly.
Not only the stool and coffee maker were new; the pots and pans had been swapped for gleaming steel. Tiles, not wallpaper, now framed the kitchen, and fresh towel hooks clung to the wall by the sink.
When Lucy returned in her bright tracksuitshed once been in a cozy robeVictors mood had shifted, no longer the weary resignation of his arrival.
Whats that man youve brought home? Victor snapped.
Who? Lucy asked, confused.
The bloke youve introduced to the house! I need to know whos raising my son! And were not divorced yet, mind you! Victor blustered.
Drink your coffee, Lucy said with a sly grin.
Look at her! Victor shouted. I felt sorry for her, came back! And whats she doing here? With a living husband! Lucy!
Coffee, please! his voice turned into a command.
Ill pour this coffee over your head! Victor leapt up. Whats happening? I demand answers!
—
Six months earlier, Lucy had declared her life over, the shock of it as cold as a London fog.
Lucy, I think our marriage has run its course, Victor had said. The feeling is gone, the warmth has faded.
Theres nothing left that tied us together. Living together just for Sam feels like a huge sacrifice.
Divorce? Lucy asked, fear trembling in her voice.
Id suggest we dont rush, Victor replied. I could be wrongmaybe terribly so. Lets live apart for now. I wont be visiting, but if you truly need me, you can call.
Just dont keep ringing! I might already have a new life!
It hit Lucy like another blow. Victors silence was another cold wind.
Dont bother the court for maintenance; we can avoid the paperwork. Youll get no more than fifteen hundred pounds a month.
Thats what Ill give you for the next month. After that, Ill pay as my salary comes in. Everyones an adult, we all have to support ourselves.
Ill still contribute for Sam. So, you see, no hard feelings!
Lucy felt adrift, between sky and earth. Nine years of what she thought was a happy marriage collapsed in an instant, with no warning. Everything had seemed fine.
Why had Lucy felt her life was over? Because beyond the marriage, nothing else seemed to exist. Her independent adult life had begun with a Mendelssohn marchwaiting for her degree to seal the wedding.
Then life fell into a pattern where Victor was always there, escorting her to interviews, gathering paperwork for her job, driving her to work, meeting her at the door, attending every prenatal appointment, even joining in on their chosen home birth because he insisted, A father must claim his son in this world.
Victors love and care had wrapped around Lucy when he took the newborn from the hospital, and hed surprised her with fresh renovations and new furniture.
They were lucky enough not to carry a mortgage. Lucys parents had left her a inherited flat from a distant aunt, so there were funds for repairs and furnishings.
There was nothing unusual about their social roles. Victor let Lucy manage the house, and he didnt run off when she asked for help. Their families got along famously; Victor got along with Lucys parents, and Lucy was friendly with Victors mother and sister. Holiday gatherings filled the big table, and no one ever uttered a hurtful word.
When Sam grew older, Lucy returned to work, and Victors schedule changed, so he stopped driving her. Lucy learned to commute herself; her father gave her his car and funded her driving lessons. If the car broke down, shed ask Victor to tow it to the garagethough he later argued that garages treated ladies unfairly and overcharged for airconditioning repairs. So she simply handed him the keys and said something was wrong.
Lucy wasnt a hollow shell on Victors shoulder; she handled household matters herself, calling on Victor only when she truly needed a hand. At work she earned respect for diligence, climbing two rungs up the career ladder in five years. Shed run to Victor with joy, and theyd share in her successes. Victor had been present in every breath and exhale of her lifeuntil he left.
Lucy felt lost in a void, knowing what to do, how to do it, yet subconsciously searching for Victors eyes. When they werent there, everything slipped from her grasp.
Her parents noticed her despondence. Her mother grew anxious, while her father, Dennis Andrews, took charge and went to speak with Lucy.
Sweetheart, life throws all sorts of curveballs, Dennis said, gentle yet firm, but thats no reason to surrender. Its tough to understand, harder to accept, yet life doesnt stop.
Dad, everythings falling apart! Lucy burst into tears. I have no strength or desire to do anything.
Lulu, your mother and I will always support you, Dennis replied with a patronising smile. Think before you act. We raised you to be clever and kind. Dont disappoint us.
His words were kind, warm, encouraging.
The tears dried. Lucy drifted through the month on autopilot, making no changes to the flat Victor had left. Then something odd happened that brightened her spirits.
If you picture a math problem, Lucy simply erased Victor from the equation and solved it anew. The answers shifted dramatically.
She discovered she didnt need to clean every day. Even with an eightyearold son, the house stayed tidy for four to seven days. Laundry became less frequent; the detergent bottle, now in its third month, refused to empty.
She also learned the stove didnt need to run three hours daily; cooking every other day was enough, far less than before.
And the money! Suddenly her budget, once a joint affair, now consisted of her salary and a fifteenhundredpound maintenance check. Yet at months end, twentyfive hundred pounds remained.
Did I miss a payment? she fretted. Did I forget something?
Everything balanced, and the house was comfortable.
Lucy had long wanted new doors in the rooms. Money was suddenly available, so buying them wasnt a problem. Who would install them? The shop said they had handymen.
Two sturdy young men arrived, hauled away the old doors to the rubbish bins, fitted the new ones, and swept the debris clean. Lucy imagined Victor doing the work, or begging him to change the doors, but the handymen made it quick and cheap.
A pocketful of cash sparked a spree. She bought a key rack, a new hallway lamp, and a shoe cabinet. She stared at the boxes and wondered whether to invite Victor to hang and assemble them, then remembered his request not to be pulled back.
Just an hour of help? she asked herself. Why not?
A local tradesman showed up, listened, nodded, and after an hour declared, All set. Ive scrubbed the bathroom, and the dampness is gone. Not worried about mold?
Its a perpetual problem, Lucy waved off. I just keep the door open!
Ventilation could be added, the man suggested. You have a vent shaft; a fan and a switch would take half an hour and a little money.
Can you do it? Lucy asked.
Tomorrow after lunch, does that suit you?
Easy, simple, no fussjust pay, and its done without groans or squeaks! The prospect excited Lucy, and plans for further improvements began to form in her mind.
Sams school holidays were coming, so Lucy decided to take him to his grandmothernot her own mother, but Victors mother. Even though Victor had left, there was no friction with the motherinlaw. They chatted about nothing in particular; Victors sister was there too, and they discussed the latest gossip from the tabloids. The visit was pleasant.
Three days later Victor burst in, triumphant: Im back!
—
You could demand when you were husband, Lucy replied coolly. Now just have your coffee and get out!
Im not going anywhere! Victor shouted. I am still your husband! I came back! I returned home because I felt sorry for you, lest you disappear without me!
As you can see, Lucy smiled, you havent disappeared. Youre only a husband on paper, but thats easy to fix, which Ill do very soon.
Victor stared at Lucy with utter bewilderment, unable to grasp how his noble actreturning without tearing the family apartcould be rejected.
Dont want coffee? Then go on, Lucy waved a hand as if shooing a fly, I still have lessons to do with Sam!
The sudden chill between his former motherinlaw and his sister was understandable. Who else would report that Lucy hadnt burned up from grief when he abandoned her? It was they who sent Victor to save Lucy from her own contentment.
