I never imagined, at twenty, what lay ahead for Emily. She was studying at university, head over heels for my mate James, and already talking about their wedding.
James was a few years older. Hed finished his National Service before he turned up at our schools autumn prom while Emily was in her final year. Hed always stuck in my memory as the first lad I ever saw on the dance floor. Though we grew up in the same town of Bath and attended the same school, hed left a couple of years before Emily started.
What a looker! I heard Emily think when James walked in. He scanned the room, spotting familiar faces, then caught her eye and flashed a grin. She fell for him straight away how could she not? He was unlike any other boy shed known.
Hi, Im James, he said, leaning towards her, cheeks flushing pink. May I have this dance? He slipped his hand around her waist and they whirled across the floor.
Emily she breathed, feeling as if she were floating. James held her securely, guiding her with each step.
Emily, youre a natural, he smiled.
All night he stayed by her side. By the end theyd agreed hed see her home. They lingered, reluctant to part, but Emily knew she had to get back her mother would be worrying.
James never let a dull moment slip by. After they finished school, Emily went on to university in the same town while James took a job at a local engineering firm. He never seemed to know boredom or a bad mood; his optimism lifted everyone around him. He had a wide circle of mates, and Emily often joined them at weddings and gatherings.
Even in the dead of winter James would bring her roses. Every date felt like a celebration. Theyd pop into cafés, escape to the countryside, or head out with friends.
When Emily was on her third year, James surprised her.
Fancy a ski break over the New Year? he said. Ive booked two passes. The instructors are topnotch, theyll have you down the slopes in no time.
Brilliant, James! Youre the best, she squealed, looping her arm around his neck. Then, giggling, she added, Oh, Im a bit of a scaredycat on the mountains, you didnt know that, did you? and burst into laughter.
The trip was unforgettable. Emily learned to carve down the pistes with confidence and loved every minute, though she lamented the end of the fairytale weekend. When International Womens Day rolled around, James turned up at Emilys family home with two bouquets.
Happy Womens Day, he said, handing a bunch to Emilys mother and one to Emily herself. For my lovely lady, he added, planting a kiss on her cheek. She was over the moon at the beautiful roses.
James, youre spending a fortune, her mother remarked.
Its nothing, James replied. My mates Sam and Victor are heading out for a shortterm gig fixing highvoltage lines. Theyre paying well enough to fund a wedding and a car. He smiled, full of plans.
I dont want you to go, Emily protested. Please, James.
Ill be back in three or four months, I promise. Well keep in touch. Im keen to give us a proper wedding, and you want that too, dont you?
I do, though a modest ceremony would be fine. What matters is that were together, Emily said, a hint of melancholy in her voice.
James was already set on his plans, so Emily couldnt dissuade him. He left with his friends, earning good money and calling her often.
One afternoon, while Emily was in a lecture, a vague unease settled over her but soon passed. The night before shed spoken to James, so she didnt expect his call later. Her heart felt off, and she finally rang him herself a rarity, as he was usually the one calling. His phone was silent. Her pulse thumped so hard she felt it in her temples.
Why isnt James answering? she thought, dialing repeatedly.
She then found Victors number, called, and exhaled in relief.
Victor, wheres James?
A familiar voice replied, Hes not around any more
Emilys world tilted. She screamed for her mother, tears spilling over.
Later she learned that James had been electrocuted on a faulty power pole. His mother, Margaret, was a hollow shell of grief, speaking little as she waited for Jamess father and younger brother, Henry, to return from the site. The funeral was a bleak, endless night of sorrow.
Emily sank into a deep depression, visiting Margaret often, usually in silence. Theyd drive together to the cemetery, stand by Jamess grave. Margaret clung to Emily, urging her to spend time with her, especially now that school holidays were here. They toured churches, shared tea.
One morning Margaret suggested, Why dont we take a short trip to the coast?
Emily agreed, more out of obligation than desire; James was gone, and Margaret wouldnt let her go. Her own mother had started telling her it was time to move on. Still, they booked a week at a seaside resort.
At the resort, Margaret seemed a little steadier. Emily stared at her phone, unable to nap she never slept in the daytime. Margaret dozed lightly.
Life bustled around them, yet Emily felt profoundly alone. She walked to the promenade, the sea meeting the sky in the distance. A tiny boat drifted far out, gulls shrieked, cars honked, children laughed, strangers chattered. The world was alive, but she was isolated.
A voice beside her said, What a beautiful yet sad sight.
She turned to a young man, wanted to snap back a curt reply but held back. There was something about him that reminded her of James, though she couldnt pin down what.
Its not fair that the pretty things are denied happiness, she answered quietly.
I dont agree, he replied. Im Gethin, by the way.
Emily, she said. They exchanged a few more lines before she turned and walked away. Gethin watched her go. Hed been observing her for days, feeling sorry that she seldom seemed alone usually with her mother.
He decided he had to learn where Emily was from. He liked her, even if a melancholy cloud hovered over her. He kept watching her from the beach.
Two days remained before they left. Margaret slept after a beach stroll. Emily decided to pop into a shop; as she left, she bumped into Gethin again. He snatched the grocery bag from her hands.
Let me help you, if you dont mind, he said, instantly switching to a familiar, informal tone.
Help if you like, she replied.
Emily, can we talk? I have a serious matter and a lot of questions. If youre okay with it, he gestured toward a summer café just beside the supermarket, lets sit.
Im leaving in three days, Gethin said. And you? How long are you staying?
No, were flying out tomorrow night. Tickets are in hand.
Ah, I thought Gethin sighed. Where do you live? Emily named the town, and his eyes widened.
Youre not kidding? I live there too, he said, surprised. Great, we wont lose each other, he laughed.
Emily felt a weight lift. Gethin had graduated from the same university and worked at a design office for the council. He was single, recently split from his girlfriend, and had come up north to clear his head. Meeting Emily, he fell for her instantly.
She told him about her grief and Margarets clingy presence. He was taken aback.
Why are you staying with his mother? Usually families dont keep the daughter of a deceased son so close, he wondered. Ive never heard of that before.
I dont know either, Emily admitted. I just dont want to hurt her.
They swapped numbers and agreed to meet back in the city. Emily was about to head out when Margaret called, looking annoyed.
Emily, where are you?
In the shop, then a walk whats wrong?
Being near Margaret was becoming unbearable. Emilys own mother often reminded her, Let go of that burden. Her mother is suffocating you. But out of kindness Emily couldnt abandon Margaret, especially after the sea trip.
She sensed things couldnt go on. That evening she and Margaret packed their things, talking about returning home. Emily finally said, Im starting a new life.
Margaret stared oddly, then said, A new life, huh? Youve got your whole future ahead. To me youre like family. I thought perhaps you were expecting a child you and James seemed so close. I have a son, maybe you could be a mother to him?
Emilys blood ran cold. No, she snapped. I dont need anyone, especially not Jamess brother. Margaret burst into tears, the first since the funeral, and then seemed a bit lighter.
Emily decided then that her path lay elsewhere, away from Margarets shadow.
The thought of home kept echoing in my mind, she thought, and perhaps meeting Gethin was a blessing he opened my eyes.
The new academic year began. Emily and Gethin grew close, and one day she visited Jamess grave alone.
Goodbye, James, she whispered. I was so happy with you. Thank you for the joy. You left too soon, but I must go on. Im different now, living a new life without you.
She walked past the cemetery gates, headed to the car where Gethin waited. With him, she felt revived. She saw Margaret only occasionally, if at all. Soon she married Gethin and was expecting their first child.
