James, darling, why would we need a baby? his wife whispered, the words flitting like moths in a dim attic. Were perfectly fine just the two of us. Children bring sleepless nights, endless diapers, and a body that swells like a balloon after a feast. Do we really want that? Lets postpone the idea for another six years, shall we?
They had been married for five years, and at first their life glittered like a storybook. Gradually, James began to steer Olivia toward the thought of motherhood, while she clung to the notion like a ship to a silent shore. Then, without warning, she declared that she could not even hear the word children. Their oncesmooth relationship cracked, arguments rose like storm clouds, and James sank to the low point of shameful blackmail. Olivias refrain over the past months became a chant:
James, whats the point of a bundle of spit and snot? Nightless nights, openflap nappies, a figure as round as a dairy cow after calving, perpetual fatigue. And thats only the harmless part! I dont want to bury my youth in a grave of diaper changes. Lets wait.
James heard his wifes words as thunder on a clear day. Before the wedding, Olivia had dreamed of a large family, assuring him:
Of course, love, well have lots of childrenat least three! But not right away, okay? Lets settle first, then well welcome them.
Five years after the vows, Olivia suddenly announced that she was not ready for children. James, who had always pictured an heir, tried to convince her that the time had long since arrived:
Olivia, weve been together eight years, five of them married. Dont you think its time to think about continuing the line? We have a flat, a car, a nest egg saved for maternity leave, everything a baby would need. What are we waiting for?
What makes you think now is the right moment? Olivia snapped. I still have plans, a long list of things I want to achieve before a child fits in. Were perfectly fine as a pair. Why would we need a third?
What do you mean a third? Are you treating the baby as a stranger? James retorted, his voice rising. A normal family has children. I want to be a father, period! I dont understand why youve flipped your opinion so sharply. Before the wedding you said something completely different.
And thats because its easy for you to talk about it! Olivia exploded. You dont have to bear a ninemonth belly, endure nausea, or wrestle with extra weight! Ive been at the gym for five years! And now its all for nothing? I wont give up my shape or my lifestyle! After a baby Id lose friends, shops, a normal life for five years! Why should I surrender all that?
Olivia, everyone lives like that, James tried to reason. Its not terrible; the child will grow, and youll return to your pastimes. Ill help with everything.
James, lets revisit this in five or six years, okay? Im not ready now. I dont want us to argue; just understand and accept my view. After all, its my body, and I decide what to do with it. I wont let it ruin me.
At first James tried every tactic. They watched films about pictureperfect family life, strolled through parks and past playgrounds, and he even introduced Olivia to his cousins newborn fourth child, shuttling her to their home. Olivia showed no enthusiasm; she seemed uncomfortable even to touch the infant. Her maternal instinct was as absent as a phantom.
Having exhausted all avenues, James set an ultimatum:
Olivia, if you dont want children from me, were not meant for each other. Lets separate. Youll find someone who shares your outlook, and I I wont be left alone.
Olivia recoiled; divorce was a thought shed never entertained. She worked from home, and James helped her. A split would mean hunting for a new job and a new flat.
James, wait! she pleaded. What are you saying? Divorce? Could you really lose me over this?
This isnt a trifle! James replied. I grew up in a full familybrothers, sisters. A childless marriage is doomed. We waste time. Youve deceived me for years. I asked about children before we married, and you always said you wanted them. Now its just fear of gaining weight. Its laughable!
James, why cant we just live for ourselves? A child means huge expenses, constant sacrifices. Youd stay the same, but Id have to overhaul my whole life! With a baby youre stuck at home, sleepless nights, endless tiredness. Im not ready. Is that so hard to grasp?
Ill hire a nanny, a housekeeper! Our parents will help! Whats the problem? James shouted. Your eyes lack a single drop of tenderness! Olivia, what do you truly want? What future do you imagine for us?
Olivia couldnt admit that children were absent from her plans. She wanted to spend money on travel and designer things, and she needed a husband to fund it. Though she felt affection for James, finances weighed heavily on her mind.
She found no support. Her aunt declared bluntly:
Olivia, youre disgraceful! Youve lost any sense of shame! Forget youre married! Youre gallivanting through pubs while your husband works! Stop bringing shame on our family!
What am I doing wrong? Olivia retorted. James knows where I go, and not every day! When weekends come Im home, locked in. Give me advice instead of scolding. We argue constantly about children. He wants them, I dont. Why now? Maybe you could talk to him? He respects you, maybe hell listen.
I wont talk to him! the aunt snapped. Hes right. Its time you had a child, then your mind will be clear.
Olivia refused to abandon her principles. In the end, she decided to feign agreement to placate James. One day she dramatically tossed a packet of wipes and announced:
Fine, James, Ill have a baby for youon one condition: a nanny will raise him while I pursue my own life.
James believed her. Meanwhile Olivia secretly took pills and, to lull Jamess vigilance, visited a familiar doctor several times. The doctor waved his hands and advised patience:
I see no problem. Just relax! Forget about the baby for a while. Ive seen many couples who, after years of infertility, let things happen naturally and it works out.
Six months later, the unexpected struck: the pregnancy test flashed two lines. Olivia stared, bewildered. What now? Give birth? Bury the life shed built?
James popped his head into the bathroom unannounced. Olivia tried to hide the test behind her back, but it was too late.
Whats that? James asked, stepping closer.
Olivia fell silent, head bowed. James snatched the test from her hand.
Olivia! Could it be? Youre pregnant! My God, Ill be a father! He lifted her into his arms, twirling her around the bathroom. Thank you, my love! This is the happiest day of my life!
Olivia forced a smile. What now? How to navigate this sudden turn?
They celebrated the news at a restaurant. A new ring glimmered on Olivias finger; James sat opposite her in a crisp suit, beaming, repeatedly declaring:
Well be the best parents ever! I promise youll never lack anything! Thank you, my love!
That night Olivia lay awake, unable to sleep. Jamess smiling face haunted her thoughts, and dark doubts crept in:
Maybe a child will truly improve our life? she wondered. Maybe Im just scared of change? I could lose weight, keep my routinewomen manage. And its my partners child
For the first time in years, Olivias heart quivered. An unfamiliar feeling stirred inside herperhaps she had made the right choice after all?
Nine months slipped by in a blur. James cradled Olivia, indulging her whims. He chose the maternity hospital, they attended parenttobe classes together. Olivia tried to lean on his support, but fear of labor and motherhood never left her.
When the appointed day arrived, Olivia gave birth to a healthy boy. As the midwife placed him on her chest, she saw his tiny, wrinkled face, astonishingly like Jamess, letting out a funny squeak. In that instant, every fear dissolved.
My Olivia whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.
They named him Sam. From his first breath, Olivia melted into motherhood. She fed him, sang lullabies, walked him in the park. She even grew jealous when James held Sam. Each evening, sitting by the cot, she asked herself the same question: how could she have been so foolish? Had she known earlier how much joy parenthood would bring
The dream lingered, a strange tapestry where arguments turned into lullabies, where a reluctant heart finally found its rhythm in the soft breathing of a newborn.
