**Diary Entry June 10th**
Max, please, just let me go… We tried to build a life together, but it didnt work. Why torture each other? Cant we just get a divorce?
“Dont be ridiculous,” he sneered, that familiar smirk twisting his lips. “Youre not going anywhere. Youre my wife, Im your husbandthats our family. What, is life so terrible with me? Or have you stopped loving me? Is there someone else? Answer me when Im speaking to you!”
I sat on the edge of the sofa, fingers twisting the fringe of my jumper. After another row, I just wanted to vanishto disappear from his life completely. Divorce was an option, of course but I couldnt bring myself to file the papers. Two years of marriage now felt like a nightmare, especially these last six months. Max had turned into some sort of petty tyrant, always finding new ways to pick at me.
It started this morning over something small. Id ordered a new face cream.
“Wasting money on rubbish again?” His voice cut through the room as I walked in with the parcel.
I tried to explain, but he wasnt listening.
“Do you ever think about anyone but yourself? Fancy cream, was it? Couldve used that money for something usefulhelping my parents, for instance.”
“Max, come on. I workits my money. And I do help your parents, you know that.”
“Pocket change! They need real help, understand? Youre selfish, Emily. Always putting yourself first. Most of your wages go on potions for your face and clothes!”
His voice hardened, eyes flashing. I couldnt take it and burst into tears. Max, as usual, slammed the door and left me alone with my tears and this crushing helplessness. He always did thispushed me to breaking point, then walked away.
I remember how it began. Max seemed perfectattentive, caring, loving. But slowly, something changed. Or maybe I just hadnt seen the real him before.
That evening, he came back to find me drinking tea in the kitchen.
“Crying again, are we?” he asked, not even looking at me.
“No You just hurt me.”
“I hurt you? You brought it on yourself. Think before you act.”
“What am I doing wrong?” I whispered.
“Everything! You dont even try. I work myself ragged, and what do you do? Tap at a keyboard half the day, laze about the other half!”
“I work just as hard as you,” I said, instantly regretting it.
“Thats not a jobits pennies! Im the one keeping us afloat. You should be grateful, Em. Not once in our marriage have you thanked me, though God knows Ive earned it.”
“I am grateful, Max But that doesnt mean you can speak to me like this.”
“How else should I speak to you? Youre never happy. And that habit of yoursalways playing the victimit makes me sick!”
The disgust in his voice made my chest ache.
“I dont understand whats happening,” I murmured. “Why are you like this with me?”
“Do things right, stop winding me up, and well be fine.”
I looked at him. No warmth, no love in his eyesjust irritation.
“Maybe we should talk,” I ventured. “See a couples counsellor?”
“A counsellor? Youre the one who needs therapy. Youre the one making problems out of nothing.”
That was it. I was done. He ate quickly and went to watch telly, while I pulled out an old notebook and started planning my escape.
**June 11th**
I left early the next day, stopping at a café to gather my thoughts. Coffee in hand, I opened my notebook:
*Step one: Find a part-time job. Need more money. Step two: Rent a flat or a room. Step three: Pack essentials. Step four*
“Emily?” A familiar voice.
I looked upSarah, an old schoolmate.
“Sarah! What a surprise!”
“Been ages,” she smiled. “Working here?”
“No, just needed some quiet.”
“Something wrong? You look awful.”
I hadnt heard kindness in so long. My parents didnt knowI didnt want to worry themand Max had pushed away all my friends. The words spilled out before I could stop them.
“Its Max. Hes suffocating mecriticising, belittling. I cant take it anymore. I think he might hit me soon. Hes raised his hand a few times”
Sarah listened, never interrupting.
“I want to leave,” I whispered. “But Im scared. I dont know how to start over.”
“Then leave. I wont let you do this alone. Stay with me for a bityou remember my place? And there are free helplines for women like you.”
“I didnt know that.”
“Now you do. And Emilyyoure stronger than you think.”
We met after work. Two hours later, I felt like a different person.
**That Evening**
Max was waiting when I got home, lounging in his chair, eyes glued to the telly.
“Where were you?”
“Out.”
“Out a lot lately. Found yourself a bloke?”
My blood ran cold.
“How can you say that?”
“Wouldnt put it past you.”
“Enough, Max.”
“Or what? You want compliments? Tough.”
I took a deep breath.
“Max, we need to talk. About us.”
“About your affairs?”
“No. About our marriage. I want a divorce.”
He stared at me.
“What did you say?”
“I said I want a divorce. Im miserable with you. You crush me every day. I cant do this anymore.”
“Youve lost it! Youd be nothing without me. You owe me everything!”
“I owe you nothing. I just want to be happy.”
“Happy? You think youll be happy alone? Youre nobody without me.”
I stayed silent. Arguing was pointless. My mind was made up.
“Im leaving tomorrow.”
“Wherell you go? Youve got nothing!”
“Thats not your concern.”
“Ill make your life hell!” he roared. “Ill find you, and youll regret the day you were born! Ungrateful! I gave you everything!”
I didnt answer. Just turned and went to the bedroom to pack.
Max slept on the couch. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, terrified of the future, of being alone, of never finding happiness. But more than anything, I was terrified of staying.
**June 12th**
I woke early, washed, dressed, and walked into the kitchen. Max was already there, sipping coffee.
“Youre not going anywhere,” he said. “Dont even think of running off while Im at work.”
“My minds made up.”
“I wont allow it!”
“Stop it, Max”
“Are you deaf?”
He stood, advancing on me. My pulse spiked.
“Dont come near me”
He shoved me against the wall. My head cracked against it as I fell. My husbandonce the man I lovedraised his fist. I shut my eyes, bracing for the blow…
