I was allowed to choose which parent I wanted to live with. Two years later, I regretted my decision.
I always thought my dad loved me more than my mum. He spoiled me; she told me off. He was the peacemaker, while she was always the first to pick a fight. So when I found out about the divorce, part of me was almost relieved. At thirteen, I didnt want to stay with my mum, and besides, I figured Dad, as the breadwinner, could take better care of me. My parents asked for my opinionMum hoped Id choose her, but she didnt seem the least bit surprised when I picked Dad.
A year after we moved out, Dad found himself a new girlfriend. She was about the same age as Mum, and he was smitten. She was polite enough to me but lacked the warmth and love my mum had shown. When she and Dad had a baby together, it was like they forgot I existed. Sometimes theyd go off on little trips, just the three of them, not even thinking to invite me. Or theyd throw fancy dinners when I wasnt around. My old bedroom now had a cot in it, and I hadnt slept properly since the baby arrivedcrying at all hours, my stepmum flicking the light on for midnight feeds.
Dad didnt seem to care how it affected my mood or my schoolwork. He barely batted an eyelid when I started staying out late with friends. Eventually, I realised this wasnt sustainable. I had university plans, and if I kept losing sleep, Id never get the grades. So, swallowing my pride, I rang Mum.
“Can I come over?” I asked, not daring to hope. I hardly ever called, let alone visited.
“Of course, love. Stay as long as you like. Your sisters driving you mad, is she?”
I felt sorry for her. Dad had his new family and his new worries, while Mum was still completely alone.
I asked Dad if I could move in with her temporarily, and he agreed straight away. He promised to send money and then barely called. Honestly, I think it was easier for everyone this way. Maybe its because Im older now, but Mum and I get along like friends these days. She takes care of me, supports me, while Dad and I have the occasional phone chat. He thinks Im all grown up, but Mum still fussesmaking me dinner after work, treating me like a kid sometimes.
If I could go back, Id probably choose to stay with her. But then again, maybe Id have regretted that just as much, wondering if the grass was greener on the other side.
