I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe lived quite comfortably. She never made a scene, never blamed me for anything; she was always kind and affectionate. Yet the problem remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke up wanting to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how fate would take such an unexpected turn.
With Emily, I felt at ease. Not only did she keep the house impeccably, but she was also stunning. My friends envied me and couldnt understand how Id been so lucky.
I didnt even know what Id done to deserve her love. Im an ordinary man, with nothing special to set me apart. And yet, she loved me How was that possible?
Her devotion haunted me. What tormented me most was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, handsomer, more successful.
The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even though Id never loved her. That sense of possession was stronger than reason. But can you spend your whole life with someone you dont love? I thought I could. I was wrong.
Tomorrow, Ill tell her everything, I decided as I went to bed. The next morning at breakfast, I gathered my courage.
Emily, sit down. We need to talk.
Of course, darling. Im listening.
Imagine we get divorced. I leave, and we live apart
Emily laughed. What a strange thought! Is this a game?
Hear me out. This is serious.
All right, Im imagining it. Then what?
Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?
William, whats wrong? Why are you thinking of leaving?
Because I dont love you. I never have.
What? Are you joking? I dont understand.
I want to leave, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else tortures me.
Emily thought for a moment, then calmly replied, I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.
Do you promise?
Of course, she assured me.
Wait but where would I go?
Dont you have anywhere?
No, weve been together our whole lives. Id probably have to stay near you, I said gloomily.
Dont worry, Emily replied. After the divorce, well trade the flat for two smaller ones.
Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?
Because I love you. When you love someone, you dont force them to stay.
Months passed, and we divorced. Soon after, I learned Emily hadnt kept her promise. She found another man, and the properties she inherited from her grandmother? She never intended to share them. I was left with nothing.
Now, how can I trust women? I have no idea.
What do you make of Williams behaviour? Sometimes, what we cling to out of fear is the very thing that holds us back. Love isnt about possessionits about letting go.
