There were no secrets between them.
“Jenny! Jen, why have you stopped like a statue? Hurry up, or well miss the film! And we still need to get popcorn,” called her friend, Olivia.
“What?” Jenny turned to Olivia with a start, her heart pounding.
“Whats wrong with you? Come on! The others are already waiting!” Olivia snapped impatiently.
“Liv, listen, I really dont feel well. You go aheadIll head back to the dorm,” Jenny replied.
“Should I call a doctor? Youve gone completely pale,” Olivia fretted.
“No, no Just apologise to Steven for me, alright?” Jenny tried to steady her voice, but it trembled.
“Fine. Go and rest. Maybe its just exam stress?” Olivia suggested.
“Yeah, probably,” Jenny forced a weak smile.
Olivia left, glancing back a few times. Jenny sank onto a bench, pulled out a water bottle, took a few sips, and wiped her face. She felt a little better.
She hadnt told her friend the truth. It wasnt exams. Moments earlier, a pregnant woman with a pram and two children had walked past. Olivia hadnt noticed, but Jenny had. Rubbing her cheeks, Jennys mind drifted back ten years
—
“Jenny, why are you dawdling with the dishes? Hurry up. I still need you to fetch nappies,” her mother barked, striding into the kitchen.
Jenny dropped a plate, sending it clattering into the sink. From the next room, baby George began to wail.
“Clumsy girl! Now go and settle himI just got him to sleep! Cant you do anything right?” her mother shouted.
“Alright” Jenny muttered hoarsely and shuffled to the cot.
She was the eldest in a family where her father had left before she turned two. Her mother cycled through boyfriends, having a child with each. Jenny was left with chores and caring for her siblingsEmily, Sophie, Liam, and baby George.
“Asleep?” Natalie asked, popping open a jar of jam.
“Yeah” Jenny whispered, returning to the dishes.
“Leave thosego get nappies. You can finish later,” Natalie ordered.
“Mum, Ill be late for school again,” Jenny protested.
“Ten minutes wont kill you. I skipped school all the time, and lookIm fine,” Natalie scoffed.
On her way back with the nappies, Jenny bumped into classmates eating ice cream.
“Oh, lookits Mummy Jenny,” one girl sneered.
The nickname had stuck ever since she was seen pushing a pram. She longed to be like the othersgossiping about boys, going to films, reading booksnot hauling nappies. She didnt hate her siblings, but she resented her mother.
—
By eighteen, Jenny dreamed of escapeuniversity, a new city. Once George was weaned, her mother returned to work.
One warm May morning, Jenny found her mother pale and shaky.
“Mum, are you ill?”
“Just queasy. Make scrambled eggsthe smell of food turns my stomach,” Natalie rasped.
“Whats wrong?” Jennys voice trembled.
“Jenny, dont be daft. Im pregnant. Me and Uncle Dave are having a baby.”
“Butyoure forty!”
“Like I wanted this? Dave insisted. Oh, and hes moving in. Well have to squeeze in. Now, go make breakfast.”
Jennys decision was finalshed leave. That August, she passed her exams and fled with a suitcase and a slammed door.
In the city, she found work, made friends, and vowed never to have children.
—
“Miss? Are you alright?” A mans voice pulled her back to the present.
“Sorryjust tired, I suppose,” she mumbled.
“Tired? Fancy a coffee? Theres a nice café nearby,” he offered kindly.
She agreed. His name was Andrew. They fell for each other quickly. But as their romance deepened, Jenny felt an unshakable dread. Marriage, perhapsbut children? The thought terrified her.
One evening, Andrew took her to dinner, hinting at “something important.” She braced herselfhed propose, and shed refuse.
At the table, he slid forward a velvet ring box.
“Jen, I love you. I want you to be my wife. But before you answer theres something you should know.”
“And whats that?” Her vision blurred with tears.
“I cant have children. Its certain. If you marry me, therell be no secrets between us. Adoption isnt something I could do.” His voice wavered.
“Ill marry you,” she whispered, tears spilling.
“Are you sure?”
“Completely. Theres things I should tell you too. But not here. Just knowI dont want children. Ever.”
They married, moved away. Her mother and siblings didnt even know where she lived. She cut all ties, content with Andrew.
—
At last, Jenny was happy. Some might call it strange, but happiness is different for everyone. Their cosy home was warm and peaceful. Andrew worked for a firm; Jenny opened the art studio shed always dreamed of.
Evenings were spent on the balcony with tea, talking quietly. Their life was simple, free of drama. Some didnt understand their choice, but Jenny knewthis was what shed wanted.
Sometimes she remembered her childhood, but the memories no longer hurt. They were just steps that led her here. And as she looked at Andrews smile, she knewshed chosen right.
