After chatting with some mothers of large families, I finally understood why people dislike them.
*”I’m a mother of three, and people should understand me!”*
*”Madam, I didn’t force you to have so many children! Let go of my jumper!”*
Lizzie always thought the world owed her something. She had been like this since university, back before she even had a family. But as soon as she became a mother, she completely lost the plot.
One child. Then another. Then a third. They got the status of a large family, and from then on, it was chaos.
At first, Emily thought Lizzie had lost her mind after childbirthor whatever you call it when you stop seeing reason after having kids. Suddenly, everyone around you *owes* you something, and they should practically bow at your feet.
*”Can you believe it? I was queuing with the kids, and no one let me go first!”* Lizzie fumed during yet another meet-up with Emily.
*”Well, theyre not obliged to. Some people are just tired from work and want to get home; others have their own things to do…”*
Lizzie cut her off mid-sentence, not letting her finish.
*”Oh, come on! Its not a big dealthey can wait. What do they even have to be tired about if they dont have kids?”*
*”Who says only parents get tired?”*
*”Because I have three, and I know what Im talking about! But you wouldnt understandyouve never even had one!”*
Lizzie was a piece of work. She believed every woman *had* to have at least one childpreferably more. It drove her mad when people thought otherwise.
Emily, on the other hand, had always been firm in her decision not to have children. And, of course, Lizzie couldnt wrap her head around that.
It was impossible to get through to someone like Lizzie. Emily genuinely wanted to live for herselftravel, build a career, learn new things. Her husband fully supported her; he didnt want kids either. But Lizzie saw it as her personal mission to *fix* her misguided friend.
*”Youll be so much happier once you have a baby!”*
*”You wouldnt understandyouve never been a mother!”*
*”Whos going to take care of you when youre old if you dont have kids?”*
Arguing was pointless, and Emily didnt even bother wasting her breath.
Years later, when Lizzies kids were older, Emily visited her. They talked all dayit was obvious Lizzie was starved for conversation. She had stopped developing herself, drowning in nappies and tantrums. Emilys husband often wondered what they even had to talk about, but somehow, they found common ground.
*”Liz, what do you want from life? Your kids will grow upthen what?”*
*”What do you mean? Ill help them. Before you know it, therell be grandchildren!”*
Emily was baffled but pressed on.
*”And what about living for yourself?”*
*”Why? My children are everything. Oh, by the way, I just found out we qualify for more benefits…”*
Of course, Lizzie steered the conversation back to her favourite topicshe always did when questions got too uncomfortable.
Eventually, Emily grew embarrassed to be seen with her in publicespecially after one incident.
They went shopping, and Lizzie had dragged the kids along. She wanted a new jumperthere was a sale on. Emily wandered off to look at something else but rushed back when she heard shoutingand recognised Lizzies voice.
To her horror, Lizzie was arguing with a stranger over a jumper.
*”Im a mother of threeyou should understand!”*
*”Madam, I didnt force you to have kids! Let go of my jumper!”*
Emily dashed over.
*”Lizzie, stop this! Everyones staring. Have some shame!”*
Emily shot an apologetic look at the womanwho turned out to be her colleague.
*”Oh, Emily I didnt realise you had friends like this.”*
That was the moment Emily realisedLizzie wasnt just embarrassing herself. She was dragging Emily down with her.
As the saying goes, *”Tell me who your friends are, and Ill tell you who you are.”* And Lizzies antics werent a one-off.
After that, Emily started distancing herself. She couldnt bring herself to cut ties completelythere was no actual fight. But she couldnt stand Lizzies entitled attitude anymore. Shed make excuses: *”Works crazy, no time to meet.”*
Then Lizzie gave her the perfect excuse to walk away. She turned up at Emilys house one evening, picking a fight out of nowhere.
*”Dont you have anything to say for yourself?”*
*”About what?”*
Emily braced herself for accusations of neglectbut the reason stunned her.
*”I saw your sister yesterdaywith her baby.”*
*”And?”*
*”Her daughter was wearing that designer snowsuit. The exact one I saw at your place.”*
*”I dont follow.”*
*”You shouldve given it to *us*, not your sister!”*
Emilys stomach dropped. Lizzie actually thought she had the right to dictate who Emily gave gifts to?
*”Lizzie, do you hear yourself? Maybe *I* decide who gets what?”*
*”Whats that supposed to mean? Your sister has one childshe can afford nice things. Ive got three! I *need* it more!”*
At this point, Lizzie didnt need designer clothesshe needed a reality check. Emily kicked her out, but Lizzie kept screaming in the hallway. Emily even had to apologise to the neighbours in the buildings group chat.
Lizzie? She never apologised to anyone. According to mutual friends, she only got worse.
Ten years passed.
They hadnt spoken since. Emily and her husband had moved abroad, only visiting occasionally to see family.
One day, walking through the park where she and Lizzie used to stroll, Emily spotted her. Lizzie looked surprised.
*”Well, this is a surprise! Didnt think Id ever see you again. Didnt you move abroad?”*
*”Just back for a week to visit my parents. How are you? How are the kids?”*
Lizzie gestured to the pram. Shed just had a fourth child.
*”Congratulations! Im happy for you.”*
*”Yeah, well, not much to congratulate *you* about. Still no kidsand youre 38!”*
Lizzie gave her a once-over. Emily was stylish; Lizzie looked like shed given up.
*”Actually, weve built a business overseas. Everythings going exactly as we planned.”*
*”But youre still childless,”* Lizzie sneered.
*”We just have different priorities.”*
Lizzie would never understandnot everyone found meaning in motherhood. And just because you had kids didnt mean the world owed you anything.
If anything, Lizzie had only grown more entitled.
*”Ooh, nice handbag! Whered you get it?”*
*”I bought it.”*
*”Hmm I could do with one like that.”*
*”Why on earth would I give it to you?”*
Lizzies audacity knew no bounds.
*”Youve got loads of moneyone bag wont hurt. Im a motherI *deserve* nice things!”*
*”Go earn it yourself!”*
*”How? Im on maternity leave! Oh, rightyou wouldnt get it. Youve never even had *one* baby!”*
Lizzie kept screeching as Emily walked away. She *still* didnt get itno one owed her anything.
Having kids was *her* choice. If she couldnt afford them, maybe she shouldve thought about that sooner.
These days, it seemed trendyhave kids first, *then* figure out how to pay for them. And demand handouts while youre at iteven from people who owe you nothing.
But then again, what did Emily know? She had the audacity to want different things from life.
