After chatting with some mothers of large families, I finally understood why people dislike them.
*”Im a mother of threeyou should understand!”*
*”Madam, I didnt force you to have that many children! Let go of my jumper!”*
Emily had always believed the world owed her something. Shed been like that since her university days, long before she started a family. But the moment she had kids, she completely lost the plot.
One. Two. Three. She qualified for extra benefits, and off she went.
At first, Sophie thought Emily was suffering from what some call *”baby brain”*that foggy state where new mothers lose all perspective and start expecting everyone to bow down to them.
*”Can you believe it? I was in the queue with the kids, and no one let me go first!”* Emily ranted during one of their rare meetups.
*”Well, they arent obligated to. Some people are tired from work, others have their own things to do”*
Emily cut her off before she could finish.
*”Oh, please! They can wait. What have they got to be tired about? They dont have three kids!”*
*”Who says you can only be tired if you have children?”*
*”Because I do, and I know what Im talking about! But you wouldnt understandyouve never even had one!”*
Emily was a real piece of work. She believed every womans duty was to have at least one childpreferably several. Women who thought otherwise drove her mad.
Sophie, on the other hand, had always been firm on not wanting kids. Naturally, Emily couldnt wrap her head around that.
It was impossible to get through to her. Sophie wanted to live for herselfto travel, build a career, learn new things. Her husband fully supported her, and he didnt want children either. But Emily saw it as her personal mission to *enlighten* her misguided friend.
*”Youll be so much happier once you have a baby!”*
*”You dont understand because you dont have any!”*
*”Whos going to look after you when youre old?”*
Arguing was pointless, and Sophie stopped trying.
Years later, when Emilys kids were older, Sophie visited her. They talked for hoursit was clear Emily was starved for conversation. Shed let herself go, drowning in nappies and school runs. Sophies husband often wondered what they even talked about.
Still, they found common groundsomehow.
*”Emily, what do you want out of life? Like, when your kids are grownwhat then?”*
*”What do you mean? Ill help them. Before I know it, therell be grandchildren!”*
Sophie was stunned but pressed on.
*”But dont you want anything for yourself?”*
*”Why? My children are everything. Oh, did I tell you? We qualify for more benefits now”*
Of course, Emily steered the conversation back to her favourite topic. She always did that when asked uncomfortable questions.
She always got her wayno matter what.
Eventually, Sophie grew embarrassed to be seen with her. Especially after one incident.
They went shopping togetherkids in towwhen Emily spotted a sale. Sophie wandered off to browse, only to return at the sound of shouting.
There was Emily, gripping a jumper, arguing with a strangerSophies coworker, no less.
*”Im a mother of threeyou should understand!”*
*”Madam, I didnt force you to have that many children! Let go of my jumper!”*
Sophie rushed over.
*”Emily, stop it! Everyones staring. Have some shame!”*
Her coworker gave her a look.
*”Sophie I didnt realise you associated with people like this.”*
That was the moment Sophie realisedEmily wasnt just embarrassing herself. She was embarrassing *her* too.
As the saying goes: *”Tell me who your friends are, and Ill tell you who you are.”* And Emilys antics werent a one-time thing.
After that, Sophie started distancing herself. She didnt have the heart for a confrontation, but she couldnt take Emilys selfishness anymore. Excuses piled upwork was too busy, no time to meet.
Then, out of nowhere, Emily turned up at her door, spoiling for a fight.
*”Care to explain yourself?”*
*”About what?”*
Sophie assumed it was about her avoiding her. But Emily had something else in mind.
*”I saw your sister yesterday. With her baby.”*
*”And?”*
*”That pram she hadthe designer one. I saw the same one at your place.”*
*”Where are you going with this?”*
*”You shouldve given that to *us*, not her!”*
Sophie couldnt believe her ears. Emily genuinely thought she had the right to dictate who Sophie gave gifts to?
*”Emily, do you hear yourself? Who I give presents to is *my* business!”*
*”Excuse me? Your sister has *one* childshe can afford nice things. I have *three*! I need it more!”*
What Emily really needed was a reality check.
She kept shouting, demanding, playing the victimonly this time, it wasnt in a shop. It was in Sophies home.
She kicked Emily out, but the screaming continued in the hallway. Sophie even had to apologise to the neighbours in the buildings group chat.
Emily? She never apologised to anyone.
Ten years passed.
They hadnt spoken since. Sophie and her husband moved abroad, returning only occasionally to visit family.
Then, one day, Sophie spotted Emily in the parkpushing a pram. A *fourth* child.
*”Well, look who it is! Didnt think Id see you again. Still living abroad?”*
*”Just visiting for the week. How are the kids?”*
Emily gestured to the pram.
*”Congratulations!”* Sophie said.
*”Thanks. Though I see *you* still have nothing to celebrate. No kids at 38?”*
Sophie smiled. *”Actually, weve built a successful business abroad. Everythings going exactly how we wanted.”*
*”Still, no children,”* Emily sniffed.
*”We just have different priorities.”*
Emily would never understandnot everyones purpose in life was motherhood. And having kids didnt mean the world owed you a thing.
If anything, shed only gotten worse.
*”Ooh, nice handbag! Whered you get it?”*
*”Bought it.”*
*”Hmm I could do with one like that.”*
*”Why?”*
*”Youve got money to burnone bag wont break you. Im a motherI *deserve* nice things!”*
*”Get a job.”*
*”How? Im on maternity leave! Oh, rightyou wouldnt get it. Youve never even had *one*!”*
Emily kept screeching as Sophie walked away.
Some people never learn.
Having children was *her* choice. If she couldnt afford them, maybe she shouldve thought about that *before* having four.
But nomodern parenting seemed to be: *have kids first, figure out the rest later.* Then demand handouts from people who owe you nothing.
Then again, Sophie could never compete.
She and Emily just had completely different lives.
