**Diary Entry**
I couldnt believe what was happening to me. My husband, the one person I thought would always be my rock, looked me in the eye today and said, “I dont love you anymore.” The shock was so immense I just stood there, frozen in place, while he rushed around the house gathering his things, keys jangling in his hand.
As if I needed this now. My father had passed away suddenly not long ago, and despite my own grief, I had to pull myself together for my motherher hair turned grey overnightand my younger sister, whod been left disabled after a severe head injury at eighteen. They lived just outside London, in a small town. My little boy had just started Year One. In June, the company I worked for shut down. I was jobless. And now, my husband
I clutched my head, sank into a chair, and sobbed.
“God, what do I do now? How do I go on? OhOliver! I have to fetch him from school!”
The weight of daily responsibilities forced me up and out the door.
“Mummy, have you been crying?”
“No, sweetheart, no.”
“Is it because of Grandad? I miss him so much.”
“Me too, love. But we have to be strong. Grandad always was. Hes at peace now, dont worry. He earned his rest.”
“Wheres Dad?”
“Dad? Probably away on business again. How was school?”
Life had to go on. If he didnt love me, so be it. You cant force these things. Maybe Id missed the signs in the chaos.
While Oliver ate lunch and played with his toy soldiers, I logged into my husbands abandoned laptop. Id never done this before. His email was right there in the cornerhe hadnt even deleted the last exchange.
So, he was in love. Completely. And I was the unloved one. For ten years, Id been his “sunshine,” and after eight years of struggling to have a child, I became “our darling mum.”
Now everything had changed. And I had to adjust.
First, I needed a job. No one cared about my degree. The pittance from Jobseekers Allowance barely covered groceries.
What had gone wrong? How had my dependable, caring husband turned into a stranger overnight? The only explanation I could cling to was that hed lost his mind. Our half-built house, brick by brick, still stood unfinished. At least we had a roof over our headsone livable room.
“Work, I need work!” I nearly burst into tears again, but there was no time. I needed a job, desperately.
Days of searching turned up nothing. Olivers school schedule and my sudden single parenthood made it nearly impossible. Then, one evening, my cousin James called.
“Liz, no word from him?”
“No.”
“Fancy a job as a stock clerk?”
“Are you serious?”
“I know its not ideal after what Daniel did. Its part-timeflexible. You could fetch your godson or sort out after-school care. Pays £25K. Not much, but better than nothing. Well bring you some potatoes, onions, and a chicken tomorrow.”
“James, Ive got my hens. They keep us fed with eggs.”
“Good, keep them. Theyre not for eating.”
“Thank you. Hows Emily?”
“Managing. Shes a trooper.”
Thats James for you. His wife Emily had a major surgery, was on chemo, yet he never complained about the weight on his shoulders. “Everythings fine,” hed say.
I sighed. There was a chance to survive. Thank GodHe was the only one I could truly rely on. He never let me down. And thank goodness for James.
The job was straightforward, and there were moments to myselfto cry, to wonder what had happened.
Days turned to weeks, then months. A year later, I realised I could eat, sleep, laugh again, even take joy in Olivers little victories. The pain of Daniels betrayal flared only when he came to take Oliver for weekends. I didnt stop himtheir relationship shouldnt hurt our child.
Part of me wanted to ask what Id done wrong, though I knew the truth: hed fallen for someone else.
I remembered a film line: *”Love lasts till the first turn, then life begins.”* For me, love and life were one. For him?
Autumn this year felt like summers encorewarm, golden, childrens laughter in the streets, chrysanthemums blooming in the garden. The day I met Michaels steady gaze was like any other, except the sun shone brighter, music drifted from a neighbours window, and maybe fate had decided it was time for two lonely souls to meet.
“Let me help. You shouldnt carry all that alone.”
“Im used to it.”
“A shame, when someone as lovely as you is used to heavy lifting.”
“Do you make a habit of rescuing damsels outside shops?”
“Waited all day, finally spotted one worth saving.”
I couldnt help laughing. Soon we were both breathless with it.
“Michael.” He held out his hand, eyes still sparkling.
“Elizabeth.”
“*Lizzy, Lizzy, not a missus*heard that one?”
“No. But Im not married.”
“Lucky me. Finally meet the woman of my dreams, and shes free. Is the whole world blind?”
“Youve got humour. Thats good. What about seriousness?”
“Plenty of that too. Fancy a film tonight? Talk, get to know each other.”
“Cant. Need to pick my son up from after-school club.”
“Youve a son? You look twenty!”
“Im 36.”
“Same here. Odd coincidence. But I really thought you were younger.”
“And now?”
“Just taking it in. Most men dream of having a son. And here you are, unmarriedwheres the father?”
“Id rather not discuss it.”
“Fair enough. Weekend, then? A kids matinee?”
“Weekends are with his dad.”
“Liz, I dont want to push. But if youve a free hour, call me.” He handed me a card. “Im a paediatric haematologist, by the way.”
“Serious job.”
“Leaves little time for chasing beauties.”
“Alright, Michael. Ill call.”
“Ill wait.”
That autumn was beautifullike a gift just for us. Golden leaves, warm days, long walks through every park in town. And then, tendernesssoftening the past, spinning us into an autumn dance under falling leaves.
We moved carefully, yet to my own surprise, I felt myself drawn to him. A month and a half after we met, I shyly invited him for tea.
“Liz, dont take this the wrong wayI wont come to yours. This matters too much. Ill arrange everything. Trust me?”
That weekend, we drove to a nature reserve where hed rented a cottagelike a tiny castle. Inside was cosy, but I saw nothing but his warm brown eyes, losing myself in his arms. I hadnt known intimacy could feel like this.
“Michael, where am I? Whats happening? I think Im dying. I love you so much. How did I live without you?”
“Youre beautiful. Im the luckiest man alive.”
Months passed, and parting grew harder.
“Marry me.”
“Michael, my divorce isnt final till months end.”
“Then right after. Before someone steals my girl.”
“Your girl chooses for herself. Shes already chosen. Butno big wedding. Just sign the papers, then take me back to that cottage where I became yours.”
“As you wish, love.”
James and Emily were our only witnesses. Mum and my sister sent a joyous telegram. Soon, we moved into a two-bed flat Michael had rented, painting and furnishing it together.
Michael put extra care into Olivers room. Theyd met by then, but Oliver, who still saw his parents as two halves of an apple, was wary.
“Liz, dont panic, but lets check Olivers blood. Hes too pale.”
“Michael, hes just upset. The divorce hit him hardhe hoped wed stay together. I read its worse for a child than losing a parent.”
“Youre right. My parents divorcedit shattered me. But well test anyway, alright, champ?”
That evening, Michael came home with his head down. I knew instantly.
“Liz, dont panic. Olivers bloodworks off. My gut was right.” He swallowed. “Ill take him to hospital tomorrow.”
It wasnt fair. As if happiness demanded payment. Leukemia. A word that turned my blood cold.
A new life began. I took unpaid leaveno way was Oliver facing needles and transfusions alone
