“It’s your fault I have no family!” cried the niece, clutching the deed to the flat.
“Aunt Nellie, have you ever regretted not having children?” suddenly asked Emily, setting down her half-finished cup of tea.
Nellie Winthrop started at the unexpected question. Her niece had come to visit after years of silence, and they’d been chatting pleasantly about work, the weatheruntil this.
“What a strange thought, dear,” she replied carefully, smoothing the lace doily on the table. “Life takes its own course. Not every woman needs to be a mother.”
“But isnt it sad? Living alone…” Emily studied her aunts face, tracing every wrinkle with her gaze.
Nellie gave an uneasy laugh. Outside, a fine October drizzle fell, but the flat was warm and cosy. She always kept things tidy, especially when family visitedthough there was little family left now, just Emily, her late brothers daughter.
“Why do you ask? Are things not well with James?” Nellie tried shifting the subject. Emily had been seeing the young man for three years, and shed hoped for a wedding soon.
“James and I ended it,” Emily said flatly, turning toward the window. “A month ago.”
“Oh, love! Why didnt you tell me? I could have”
“You could have what?” Emily spun around. “Pitied me? Offered sympathy? Told me there were other fish in the sea?”
There was a sharpness in her voice Nellie had never heard before. Emily had always been quiet, politefirst as a shy schoolgirl, then a studious university student, now a successful accountant at a reputable firm. Nellie had been so proud.
“Emily, whats come over you? Youre not yourself today.”
“Not myself?” Emily stood, pacing the room. “What should I be? Smiling, pretending everythings fine? Acting as though Im thirty-two with no prospects, no life of my own?”
Nellie watched, bewildered, as her niece stopped at the old dresser lined with family photos. Emily picked up one of thema picture of herself as a little girl, standing beside a much younger Nellie.
“I was seven when my parents died in that crash,” Emily said quietly, her back turned. “Remember when I came to live with you?”
“Of course, love. We got through it together.” Nellie rose to comfort her, but Emily stepped away.
“Got through it? I didnt understand then. I thought it was temporarythat my parents would come back, and Id go home.”
“Emily, why bring this up now? We talked about it all back then”
“We never talked!” Emily whirled around. “You decided for me! Decided Id live with you, that it was best!”
Nellie felt something tighten inside. Had Emily forgotten how hard it had been? Nellie, just twenty-eight, her own marriage crumbling, her career in shambles, suddenly responsible for a grieving child.
“Young as I was, I did my best”
“Your best!” Emily laughed bitterly. “Do you know what your best looked like? You locked me in this flat! No clubs, no friends, no life outside these walls!”
“Thats not true! You had friends at school”
“What friends? You said it every day’Why bother with other people? Stay home where its safe. Why waste time with theatre club? Why throw money away on dance lessons?'”
Nellie sank into her chair. She remembered those years differentlyshed been protecting Emily from bad influences, from the wrong crowd.
“I only wanted to keep you safe”
“Safe from what? From living? From learning how to be with people?”
“Dont say such things. You grew up well, got an education”
“Yes, an education! But I never learned how to talk to people, how to be lighthearted, how to flirt! You made me just like youclosed-off, afraid of everything!”
The words stung. Nellie had always thought herself careful, sensiblenot a coward.
“I understand youre upset about James”
“What does James matter?” Emily cried. “Hes the fourth! The fourth man Ive driven away! Do you know why? Because I dont know how to be open! At the first sign of trouble, I retreat into my shelljust like you taught me!”
Nellie said nothing. A lump rose in her throat.
“Do you know what he said when he left me?” Emily went on. “‘Youre like a ghost. You exist, but you dont live. Work, home, the telly. No passions, no desires. You dont even want affectionjust to be left alone.'”
“Emily!” Nellie gasped. Such frank talk always flustered her.
“WhatEmily? Does the truth make you squirm? Well, it makes me sick to live it!” Emily pressed her forehead to the cold windowpane. “All my friends are married. They have children. And I sit alone at night wonderingwhats wrong with me?”
“Nothings wrong, dear”
“Everythings wrong!” Emily turned. “And Ive realised whyIm just like you! Following your same miserable path!”
“My path?”
“Yes! You were never truly happy either! Even married to Uncle Edward, you never stood up for yourself! He did as he pleased, and you stayed silent!”
Nellie clenched her fists. The truth about her failed marriage hurtEdward had been a tyrant. But how could Emily understand? Shed been so young.
“Dont judge what you dont know,” Nellie whispered.
“Oh, I know! I lived here! I heard him shouting, heard you crying at night! And when he left you for that secretary, you didnt even fight!”
“Why fight for a man who wants to go?”
“Exactly! You gave up! And you taught me to do the sameto shrink, to settle, never to demand better!”
Emily paced like a caged animal.
“I grew up and realisedIm just like you. Afraid of men, afraid of love, afraid of being left. And guess what? They do leave me! Because Im dull!”
“Emily, listen”
“No, you listen!” Emily stopped mid-stride. “You stole my childhood! My youth! Turned me into another lonely, frightened woman!”
“I only wanted the best for you”
“Whose best? Yours or mine?” Emilys voice broke. “Be honestwhen I told you I was seeing someone, were you happy for me? Or upset?”
Nellie stayed silent. She had been upsetterrified Emily would leave, marry, and shed be truly alone.
“You see?” Emily said softly. “You cant even lie about it now.”
“Emily, what can I do? How do we fix this?”
“We cant.” Emily hugged her knees. “Its too late. Im a grown woman with all your fears, all your hang-ups.”
“But we could try”
“Try what? Therapy? Ive been going for months! And do you know what the therapist says? That I need to break free from you. Live separately. Stop asking your permission for everything.”
Nellies chest tightened at the thought. Living without Emily? Alone?
“But were family”
“What family?” Emily sighed. “Family supports each otherthey dont cripple one another. Parents should want their children happy, not convenient.”
“I did want your happiness”
“No. You wanted your own peace. And the cruelest part? I understand. You were just a lonely woman, scared of being left. But that doesnt make it hurt less.”
Emily stood, walking to the window where streetlamps flickered on.
“I should go.”
“But we havent finishedstay for supper?”
“No. I need to think.”
She picked up her handbag, slipped on her coat.
“Emily, when will you visit again?”
“I dont know. I need time.”
“You cant just vanish from my life”
“Why not?” Emily paused at the door. “Youve never vanished from mine. Not even for a day.”
“What do you mean?”
“Im renting a flat. Alone. To learn how to live without you.”
“But why waste the money? You have your room here”
“Aunt Nellie, youre still not listening! I need spacephysical and emotional!”
“But Ill miss you”
“And Ive missed everything!” Emily cried. “The life I never had!”
She opened the door but hesitated on the threshold.
“One more thing. This flat…”
“What about it?”
“I dont want it. When youre gone, Ill sign it overto the council, to charity. I wont keep it.”
“Emily! Its your inheritance!”
“Its not an inheritance. Its payment for my silence. My obedience. For the life you took from me.” Emilys voice trembled. “Its your fault I have no family! Yours! And
