**Diary Entry**
Its just a stumble, happens to everyone
For heavens sake, youre like a broken record! That Emily is gone now, and youre still jealous and nagging me. Charlotte, enough already! Weve got real things to sort outwhat about Lily?
Charlotte raised her eyebrows in disbelief. For a moment, she was silent, wondering if shed misheard. Any second now, she expected James to blame *her* for *his* betrayal.
James, youve walked through the wrong door. My priority right now is simpledivorcing you.
Divorce?! he spluttered. For Gods sake, weve been fine all these years! Nearly a decade. Wed have carried on just fine if you hadnt found out. What difference does it make now?
It changes everything, Charlotte met his gaze squarely. All this time, Ive lived in a lie. And now youre acting like its nothing.
His stubbornness grated on her as much as the betrayal itself. Shed known James for over twenty-five years. She knew how he frowned when criticised. How he pursed his lips when hurt. But this? This was something new. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time.
What lie? Ive loved you all along. Still do. That other thing He waved a hand dismissively. That was ages ago. Might as well never have happened.
Hard to pretend nothing happened when there was an eight-year-old girl left behind. James now felt it his solemn duty to bring her into their home. The alternative? His ageing mother, who could barely care for herself. A childrens home was out of the questionhe insisted, like some gallant knight, that *his* child wouldnt grow up without parents.
Charlotte couldnt forgive the infidelity. Shed grown up in a family built on trust.
Her father was a homebody; her mother adored travelling. Shed pack up and head to Cornwall on a whim. Dad would greet her with a smile at the station, load her bags, and never once doubted her. Mum did the same when he left for business tripsa kiss, a Tupperware full of pies, a tiny cross tucked into his inner pocket.
Yes, they argued. Mum might raise her voice and slam a door. Dad could go quiet for days. But they never questioned each others loyalty. Even when he had a drink at work parties or family gatherings, his eyes were only on her, praising her to the skies.
For Charlotte, that was the standard. She grew up believing love meant trust. And without trust, what was the point?
Yes, life with James had been comfortable once. The only issue was children.
Charlie, lets get settled firstbetter jobs, financial security*then* well think about kids, hed said in their fifth year together.
Were not getting any younger. Im thirty now. You too. Or do you want our child to have grandparents instead of parents? shed grumbled.
She waited. But the better job never came, and her biological clock was relentless. So she took the leapbetter late than never. At thirty-eight, she had Tom. Now he was twelve.
James took up contract work up north to support them. Three months away, one month home. It was gruelling, but the pay was good. Charlotte missed him but saw it as an investment in their future.
She didnt know patience wasnt his strong suit.
What did you expect? Three months alone. It barely countedjust a need, hed explained when the truth surfaced.
A *need*? Charlotte snapped. Funny how I didnt have men lining up outside. Are we made of different stuff?
Well, youre a woman. Its not the same for you.
Maybe they *were* made of different stuff. To him, it was a slip-uplike sneaking an extra biscuit. To her, it erased everything theyd built.
She wouldnt even have known if tragedy hadnt struck. If James hadnt casually suggested what to do about Lily, as if discussing the weekly shop.
Look, James Charlotte pulled herself from the memory. I dont even blame the girl. If youd separate the situation, shes just an innocent child. But you? I cant live with *you*.
He scoffed.
Youre making a mountain out of a molehill. Fine, well talk in the morning. Thingsll look clearer then.
Come morning, James brought reinforcementshis mother, Margaret. She had a stake in this: if Charlotte refused, *shed* be stuck with Lily. So of course, she pleaded.
Charlie, think of the poor girl! Margaret pressed. Shell be a comfort in your old age. Boys fly the nest, but girls stay. Look at it another waymaybe its a blessing? Too late for you to have another, but heres one ready-made!
Margaret, I cant. I wont love her. How could I?
Oh, dont be silly! Youll adjust. Women do it all the timemarrying widowers with kids, adopting. Theres even a book, *The Son of the Regiment*!
Charlotte exhaled sharply. One man thought infidelity had an expiry date; another compared it to wartime adoption. Meanwhile, she felt like shed been sleepwalking through someone elses life.
Margaret, those are choices. I didnt choose this.
But the girls innocent.
So am I.
They talked in circles, never agreeing. To Margaret, it was a hiccup. To Charlotte, the end.
So that evening, she didnt answer the door. She left Jamess bag in the hall, locked the bolt, and turned on her favourite series. Nerves frayed, yesbut calm was gone for good. James didnt even grasp what hed done. No apology. Just playing the fool.
By seven, keys jangled in the lock. Then pounding.
Charlie, I know youre there! Open up! Youre acting like a child!
And youre the picture of maturityfathering kids across the country, she shot back, leaning against the console table. You wanted a decision? Here it is. Raise your daughter with your mum. Suits you both.
Dont be daft! So I slipped upwho hasnt?
*I* havent. Not me, James. Take Lily and go. Betrayal doesnt have a best-before date.
At least let me say goodbye to Tom!
So you can upset him too? She wavered, then relented. Fine. But the door stays locked.
Twenty-five years, and now Im barred like a stranger…
She tuned him out. Tom had been too quiet all evening. Hed seen her packing Jamess things but asked nothing. The shouting lately hadnt escaped him.
Even a child knew where this was headed.
Tom, your dad wants to say goodbye.
Tom didnt look up from his homework.
Dont want to.
Are you sure? she asked gently, stepping closer.
She feared hed blame herfor not keeping his father. Or worse, choose to leave with James. But
Yes. He used to be my hero. I thought he sacrificed so much for us. Now… I dont want to see him, Mum.
She hugged him tight. His words lifted a weight she hadnt known she carried.
Im sorry I couldnt keep us together, she whispered.
*He* broke us. Not you, Tom said firmly, hugging her back. Im staying with you.
James was stunned when she relayed this. He hammered on the door another ten minutes, demanding a proper talk, but finally left.
Grief gnawed at Charlotte, but relief rose beneath it. Shed drawn the line. Chosen self-respect over a hollow pretence of family. And realised, thankfully, her son was nothing like his father.
