June 14
Emily rang me at the end of the school day. Could you collect my daughter from school? she asked. It wont be a problem, will it?
Nothing difficult, I replied, but
Never mind, later! Emily cut in, sounding hurried. Im late for my nail appointment. Pick her up at three from afterschool club, okay?
I pressed my palm to the table. Hold on, Emily. Ill collect Lucy today, I promise, but Ive told you a hundred times I work from home. That doesnt mean Im idle.
Later, later! she waved away. Thanks, love! and hung up.
There was nothing to do, so I trotted out to the school gate and fetched Lucy. She slipped into the flat without even taking off her trainers, flopped onto the sofa opposite my laptop and shouted, Aunt Liz, turn on the cartoons on the big screen, the tablets dead!
I glanced at the clock. In fifteen minutes I was due to start a client presentation Id been polishing for two weeks. My lunch, a delivery from the local curry house, was cooling on the kitchen counter.
No cartoons for now, I said. Why dont you read a book instead?
I dont want to read, Lucy pouted, they make me read at school, mum makes me read at home, and now you
Then find something else to do, I shrugged.
She pursed her lips and buried herself in her phone.
—
Six months ago Emily and Lucy moved into the flat one floor above mine. Id imagined family meals, teatime chats and a cosy buzz. I even baked a batch of scones for their movingin day. Emily took one, sniffed it and said, Oh, Lucy cant eat raisins, shes allergic.
There was no allergy a week later I saw Lucy devouring identical scones from the bakery opposite.
That was only the start. At first Emily would pop in for a minute: a pinch of salt, a dozen eggs, or a quick request to watch Lucy for five minutes while she sprinted to the shop. Five minutes stretched into three hours, the shop turned out to be a salon, and Lucy managed to turn the flat upside down.
Liz, Im starving! Lucy tugged my sleeve. Mum said youd make me cheesy macs, just how I like them.
I inhaled, exhaled, and counted silently to ten.
Lucy, have a seat here and dont touch anything, I said, guiding her to the kitchen table, handing her paper and crayons. Draw while I run the meeting, then Ill sort you a bite, alright?
But I want it now! she whined.
I powered up the laptop and launched the presentation, trying to sound confident even as Lucy began belting out a song from the latest Disney film.
Excuse me, what are those noises? the senior manager asked, eyebrows raised.
It uh the neighbours, I blurted, gesturing for Lucy to hush.
She seemed to think I was playing a game, sang louder and started drumming her pencils on the table. I muted the microphone, turned to her and said, Lucy, please, lower your voice; this is an important call.
Mum says your job is just goofing off on the internet! she declared with an innocent grin. Youre not really working!
I caught a glimpse of the manager speaking, but the mic was off, so I heard nothing.
The deal fell through. Two months of effort evaporated. The bonus I had been counting on to buy a new desktop was now just a distant promise. I stared at my screen while Lucy continued demanding her cheesy macs.
That evening Mike, my husband, came home looking exhausted but satisfied with his day at the office.
Lucys here? he raised an eyebrow. Did Emily ask again?
Your sister didnt ask, she outright demanded it! I snapped. And because of her daughter I just lost a key client!
Dont get so worked up, Mike said, shrugging. Its just one client. Youll find another. Family needs help.
Family, right? Whos going to help me? I retorted. I work from home, but that doesnt mean Im not working at all!
Youre home anyway, Mike said, spreading his arms. Whats the difference, with or without a child?
The difference is huge, I replied. Im home, but Im still working!
He pulled me into a hug. Alright, calm down. Emily will pick Lucy up soon.
Emily turned up at eleven at night, giggling with her new boyfriend, both clearly three sheets to the wind.
Oh, Lizzie, youre a star! she slurred, looping an arm around my neck. Did Lucy eat? Did she do her lessons?
Yes, everythings fine. But Emily, this is the last time, I warned firmly.
Come off it! she shouted. Listen to me
Mike appeared in the hallway. Liz, dont start, he said gently. Emily, you should take Lucy home; its late.
I will, Emily snapped, but think, Mikeyouve got no kids, your wife isnt working a regular job, and youre still giving me ultimatums
Truth be told, Mike and I have been trying for a baby for two years. Ive endured three rounds of hormone therapy and two surgeries. Doctors told us we need less stress and more peace.
How can there be peace when my sisterinlaw treats me like a free babysitter?
I had the night to think. I decided Id go stay with my mother in the countryside, where its quiet. Mike could sort his thoughts too.
In the morning, Mike caught me packing.
What are you doing? he asked.
Going to Mums.
For how long? his voice trembled with worry.
I met his eyes and said, As long as I can.
He escorted me to the front door, then hesitated. Liz, is this because of Emily? It sounds ridiculous.
Its not funny, Mike, I replied. Tell your sister to find another nanny, or look after her own child.
And I left.
Mike called every hour for the first two days, but I let the calls go unanswered. On the third day Emily rang.
Liz, stop playing games! Come back, Ive got no one to look after Lucy!
Leave her with Mike. Hes home in the evenings.
He works! He has an important job!
So I dont?
She hung up. An hour later Mike called.
Emily dragged Lucy away and left! She said if you wont look after her, I have to sort it out myself!
Fine, sort it then, I said with a smirk.
But I have a big presentation tomorrow! he protested.
I also had a big presentation and lost it because of your niece, I replied.
He muttered something and ended the call.
Five days later Mike called again, his voice softer.
Im sorry, he said. I really didnt realise how hard its been for you. Those five days with Lucy I almost lost my mind. She jumped on the sofa and smashed my laptop, then spilled juice on the documents I needed. Yesterday she wanted to play hideandseek and tag at the same time, and I missed a meeting because of it.
He exhaled sharply. Emily said she wont leave Lucy with me again because I cant handle children.
So Im the one who can? I asked.
Liz, please forgive me! his tone was desperate. I talked to Emily and told her you wont be looking after Lucy anymore.
What did she say?
She was upset.
And you?
Im just dealing with the fallout, he said. Her child, her problems theyre not my problem.
Looking back, I realise I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I learned that saying yes to everyone only piles on the pressure, and protecting my own work and sanity isnt selfishits necessary. The lesson? Boundaries are the only way to keep both your career and your peace intact.
