I (29F) have been married to my husband, Oliver (31M), for four years. His family is very tight-knit, which might sound lovely, but his mother has always struggled with boundaries, to say the least.
From day one, shes made it obvious she resents sharing “her son.” Ive endured countless snide remarks with a forced smile, like, “I suppose this is what happens when lads grow up and forget their mums,” or, “Remember who loved him first.” Ive bitten my tongue to keep the peace, even when it stung.
Last weekend was Olivers birthday, and his family booked a posh restaurant for dinner. I dressed carefully, brought him a heartfelt gift, and arrived eager to celebrate. I hoped for a pleasant evening.
When we got there, his mum had already claimed the seat beside him. No matterI took the other side. But before wed even ordered, she stood, pointed at me, and announced loudly, “Shes so clingy! Lets give Oliver a night off from being attached to his wife, shall we?” Then, staring straight at me, she motioned to the next chair and added, “Shift over, love. Let Mum sit with her birthday lad.”
Everyone laughedOliver included.
I was stunned, utterly mortified. Still, I didnt want to make a fuss, so I moved quietly while she all but hung off him like he was her date to the ball.
After minutes of sitting there, simmering in humiliation while they carried on as if this were normal, I decided I wouldnt endure it. So I stood, took my bag, and said, “Actually, I think Ill leave. Happy birthday, Oliver.” Then I walked out.
Later, Oliver texted, furious. He accused me of causing a scene, embarrassing him in front of his family, and “overreacting to a bit of banter.” His mum followed up with, “Sorry if youre the delicate sortwere just having a laugh.”
Now Oliver wont speak to me unless I apologise. I dont believe I was wrong, but since it was his birthday, Im doubting myself. Was I unreasonable to think they went too far? Do I really owe them an apology?
Sometimes, standing up for yourself means others will call you difficultbut that doesnt mean youre wrong. Respect is a two-way street, and no one should be expected to smile while their dignity is chipped away.
