Well then, dear guests, are you satisfied? Full bellies? Full glasses? Did I manage to please you? Julia Miller asked, rising to the head of the long oak table in the dining room of the old terraced house in Manchester.
Absolutely, sis, replied Bob, his voice deep and content. As always, youre on top of the world!
Im all in! shouted Natalie in agreement. We learned to cook together as children, but I never manage anything as tasty as this! Thats why I always ask you to cater my celebrations!
Mum, said Anna, and Im still not getting out of the gym! But I cant stop!
Mum, Ill send you my wife so you can teach her a thing or two, added Andrew with a grin.
Thats why I married you! Victor roared, a hearty belch following. Excuse us!
So Ive pleased you, then! Julia smiled broadly. Her smile faded in an instant. And now, my dear and beloved she paused, the light draining from her face youre all out of my house!
It was the last dinner she had ever prepared for them. The last time she would ever bend over backwards for them. She no longer wanted to see, hear, or even think of them.
She snatched the massive brass salad bowl from the table and, with a wild swing, smashed it against the floor.
Enough, you little brats! The dancings over! she said, a sharp edge to her grin. I wont let anyone ride on my back any longer, especially not you!
A heavy silence settled over the room. The guests stared, stunned. No one expected such a outburst from Juliaalways calm, obliging, and everready to serve.
Are you serious? Victor asked, his voice trembling.
His question earned an instant slap from his wife.
Call an ambulance, shes having a panic attack! Natalie shouted.
Julia lifted the empty decanter, the last drops of bitter orange juice catching the dim light.
Whoever reaches for the phone first will get a taste of this! she said, smiling oddly. And why are you all frozen? Get up, get out! Youre my insatiable gremlins!
Julia! Boris barked. Im telling you, as your older brother, calm down and pull yourself together!
No! Julia answered, her smile now a mask of fury. Im done serving you! I wont please, I wont run around like a headless chicken because you cant do anything yourself! Thats itstop it!
Whats got you so worked up? Victor asked, rubbing his reddened cheek. Everything was fine!
I didnt gather you all for nothing, Julia sank into a chair, leaning back. Your arrogance has crossed every line. Its been that way for ages! Your latest stunt only proved how far youve gone. I refuse to see you any longer!
We didnt do anything, Andrew muttered.
Exactly, son! Exactly!
***
They say you must live a proper life, and you cant argue with that. But what does proper really mean? Ask anyone, and each will give a different answer.
Julia had spent fortyfive years convinced shed lived correctly. At worst, she could only blame herself. She was the third child, with one older brother and a sister. Her parents were proud, her brother adored, her sister never bothered her. She finished school, got a job, never reached for the stars but never fell short either.
She married, had two children, was a devoted, loving wife, never arguing without reason. A good mother, she raised her kids, educated them, and sent them out into the world. Even as an adult she stayed close to her brother and sister, helping, celebrating, sharing troubles, and finding joy together. People called her kind, caring, smart, and understanding.
Thats why she believed shed lived rightuntil, at fortyfive, she was abandoned in the bleakest moment of her life.
***
Miss Miller, the doctor said after lunch, all your tests are back, no contraindications. Shall we schedule the operation?
Of course, doctor, Julia replied softly, already resigned. The decisions made.
I understand, the doctor said, noticing her gloom, but you never know
Schedule it, Julia waved a hand. The sooner we start, the sooner it ends.
Very well, the doctor noted in her chart. Youll have dinner tonight, nothing tomorrow, and the operation the day after.
He turned to the woman sharing the ward: Mrs. Carter, your results arent all clear; well look into it.
Right, Mr. OLeary, replied Kat, the young nurse.
When the doctor left, Kat asked Julia:
Why so down? Afraid of the operation?
Partly, Julia nodded, glancing at her phone. My husband she trailed off.
My husband left me with his songs, Kat chuckled. I bet the kids will be with their mother, and hell throw a party himself! No worries, hell sort it out later. Maybe hes already off on his own?
From his last voice message, hes already fullblown adult, Julia pressed her lips together. He knows I have an operation! He should support me! Instead hes out with his mates, glasses in hand!
Ah, men, Kat waved her hand. All the same! Cats at home, mice dancing!
Still, its insulting, Julia said. Removing the uterus is serious. A little support would go a long way! I told him Im scared and need his help now more than ever. He only sent two short texts after I left and now doesnt even answer!
Kat was ten years younger than Julia and lacked the experience to comfort her, so the conversation faded on its own.
Julia skipped dinner, refusing to take anything with her, knowing shed have to fast before surgery. She lay quietly, staring at the ceiling, remembering the time Vas, a colleague, broke his leg in two places. Shed visited his hospital daily, bringing homecooked meals, clean clothes, staying until late. Shed taken leave to help him, like a hamster on a wheel, never refusing the husbands requestsbringing water, feeding from a spoon, washing, shaving, grooming.
Why does he treat me like this? Julia asked when Kat returned from her own dinner.
Hes not the only one, Kat smiled. Everyones the same! Theyre consumers! In school they must teach them to sit on a ladys lap, right?
I pushed my husband for three years, getting him jobs through acquaintances, picking the fattest spots. Yet nothing pleased him. He only worked when I threatened divorce and alimony!
My husband works, Julia answered.
Your man has his own whims, Kat gestured. All the sameexploiter! If you dont tie them down, theyll sit on your neck, steal your legs, and run off! Thats what Ive learned.
Julia began to see her husband as cheese in butter, melting in cream, while she was left on his back feet.
Maybe Im overreacting? she asked, nerves from the upcoming operation flaring. Am I just winding myself up?
One thing doesnt stop the other, Kat replied. And the fact you hear no kind words from him is obvious! My husband, however, brings fruit juices daily, calls, sends heart emojis.
Julia turned away, pulling the blanket over her head.
***
Going a day without food, even when you need it, is a torment. Julia tried to distract herself with chat, but the wards routine of tests and scans left her alone except for Kats brief, hurried visits.
Phone in hand:
Relatives will never refuse a chat to kill the time, Julia thought.
Her son Andrew didnt answer. He only sent a text promising to call back.
Her daughter Anna called twice, then the number went dead.
Good kids, Julia muttered, bewildered.
They dont pick up? Kat asked, catching her breath between rounds.
Imagine! Julia sighed. Is it so hard to answer your mother?
Adults? Kat replied.
They live on their own now.
Forget them, Mum! Youll only see them when they need something! Like fledglings that have left the nest, only a gust of wind will bring them back!
My eldest, sixteen, now treats me like a penny. If they live apart, parents become unnecessary, only showing up for funerals!
No, we have a wonderful relationship! Julia insisted.
Then why dont they pick up?
Kat hurried off, and Julia stared into the void.
Is it really that hard to find a minute to talk to mum? she thought. Their recent calls were always about moneyno loans, just how much they could spare.
It was heartbreaking. Kat summed it up: The fledglings have flown. Now they live their own lives, remembering their parents only when they need something.
She tried calling her husband again. No answer. She left a message, unread.
Ah, Vas, she muttered. If only youd show up more often!
By evening he finally messaged: Where are our savings? Salarys gone, nothing to live on! His salary had been paid three days earlier.
Yet! Julia evaluated her husbands capabilities. A feast on a hill, wine like a river!
She didnt reply. If he had even hinted he was worried, she might have said something. Instead, she left him to sort his own mess.
Bob answered a call but said he was busy and hung up.
Typical, hes busy, Julia said.
Kat wasnt there, so Julia got no retort. She recalled the six months shed lived between two houses after Bobs wife had deserted him, leaving children behind. Julia tended to them, acting as mum, cook, cleaner, everything, until Bob found a new partner. Shed also smooth over conflicts because Bob demanded love for his kids while she wanted love for hers, and his was always a hassle.
I patched them up for a year and a half, and not a word of thanks. Even now hes busy. she thought.
When Julia called back that night, only a short buzz and silence.
Thanks for the black list, brother! she whispered, remembering he also knew about her upcoming surgery. When he asked to take the kids for a month, Julia first refused, citing the operation.
Natalie gave Julia only five minutes, barely asking about health:
When will you be fit? My husbands sidefamily is arrivingabout ten people. Well lodge them in a hotel, but theyll need food at home, largescale! Youre our only hope!
I dont know, Nat, Julia replied. The operations tough. Two or three weeks in hospital, then a recovery period. Doctors say about fifty days.
No, no! You cant think like that! Do it like a waltz, be ready in three weeks, as sharp as a spear! Its my husbands relatives! Theyre more important than anything, even royalty!
Nat, Im scared, Julia whispered.
Stop playing games! Chitchat and off you go! Ive got to run!
It hurt. Chitchat and off you go! she thought.
Does it matter if the operation is routine? Complications can happen! Who knows what! Julia said, staring at her phone. This cook I need is over fifty, yet I never learned to cook!
Natasha kept calling the younger sister to cook for her guestscolleagues, husbands friends, any celebration. Julia never left the stove for two days, yet never got invited to the table.
What? Nat shouted. Its a strangers party!
The fact that Julia prepared for that unknown crowd meant nothing.
The operation went smoothly, but the hospital kept her two more weeks. She didnt call anyone. She waited for someone to remember her, but none did: not husband, not children, not brother, not sister.
She thought a lot, until she reached a decisive moment.
Julia, what nonsense are you spouting? Boris snapped. Did they take out a piece of your brain with the uterus?
You remember! Julia laughed, surprised. I thought no one would remember me any more!
She rose again to the head of the table.
Listen, my dear relatives! Ive spent two weeks in the hospital, and not a single soul cared to ask how I am, whats happening to me! No one! Not the brother whose children love him more than their new mother. Not the sister who used me all my life as a freerange cook. Not the husband who managed to spend not only his salary but also every penny we saved for the cottage. Not the children I gave life to! Not a single call!
A hush of outrage hung over the table.
Ive spent my whole life ready to do whatever you needed. And at the only moment I needed a simple act of kindness, you were all gone! I thought, if I could survive this alone, I could handle everything. But I will not be your errand runner any longer.
She turned to each of them in turn:
Victor, divorce and no words! Get out of my flat!
Children, live your own lives! If you need help, go to dad! Youve lost your mother!
And you, Boris and Natalie, Im done looking at you! Hire nannies and cooks elsewhere! Enough!
Are you mad? How can you be? relatives shouted.
Everyone, line up! Julia commanded. Form a queue and march out of my life! I finally want to live for myself, not for you!
A deafening roar filled the room.
Left alone in the flat, Julia sat at the empty table, eyeing the shattered salad bowl.
I went too far with the emotions, she murmured, looking at the broken pieces. Ill start my new life with a new bowl.
