Jane knew it all, right? She wasnt twenty any more, not even thirty.
She was fed up being alone, dragging that heavy load behind her.
Lucy, why is it always me? Whats wrong with me? Am I a bore? Do I smell? Am I just too clingy? Or maybe Im not giving enough love and affection? she muttered to herself.
Everyone around her the tall, the short, the drinkers, the pretty ones, the notsopretty ones all seemed to have someone. And she? Still single.
Listen, Jan dont laugh, but my gran used to talk about a a crown of spinsterhood, I think she called it, Lucy said, perched on the edge of her chair.
Really? Jane waved her hand dismissively. What is this, the Middle Ages?
Lucy jumped up. You dont believe it? My thirdcousins aunt had that very crown taken off by her gran. Its a thing.
What gran? Jane asked, barely interested, just to keep the conversation going.
Anyway, Ill ring Nora right now thats my sister, the one who had the crown lifted. Ill get the details.
A few minutes later Lucy was scribbling on a napkin, tongue sticking out at the corners.
Right, thanks, Nora. Hows it going? Still planning another wedding? And what about Henry? Wasnt he kicked out? Lucy laughed, then paused. Anyway, Ill be there soon. She hung up and fell silent.
Something happened? Jane asked.
Yeah, my sisters getting married again fifth time now. The old grans probably taken that crown off for good. She sent me an address. You coming?
Jane shrugged. She did end up going, but when she got there the old woman turned her around and sent her back emptyhanded.
No crown for you.
Youre kidding. I
The men you chose werent right. The first one dumped you with a kid, promised you the world while he was already married. You didnt know, did you? He was a scoundrel, left you in the bushes and vanished.
Whoa, why didnt I know?
Thats not for you to worry about. He wasnt your man.
Second one not my man either? Jane smirked.
Not yours, the gran confirmed. Third one isnt either.
Third? I dont have anyone.
Itll be different, love. When you stop looking for the perfect, the right one will appear. Hell be yours, but not wholly yours youll have to share, you know? Trust him, hes reliable, and youll find a happiness that feels like it belongs to you. Maybe even get the whole thing if youre patient enough.
Alright, go on tell my friend she should see a doctor, take some herbs, stop picking at everything. The old gran says to pass the message along.
That chat had happened ages ago. Desperate to find her own happiness, Jane had driven out to the old grans cottage in the Yorkshire hills.
Everything the gran said turned out true. The third man she met, shed completely forgotten the grans warnings. He was nice, treated Janes daughter well, but then something would come up, theyd become distant, disappear without a word.
Then Jane met Tom. At first she didnt realise it was him the same Tom from the empty flat next door that had been vacant for years. When she moved in with her daughter, the neighbour, Aunt Kate, mentioned the landlord was only around for a shift here and there.
One day curiosity got the better of Jane; the neighbours door was ajar, and she peeked in to see a bloke putting up wallpaper. She slipped out quietly, thinking the landlord must have returned.
They finally bumped into each other in the hallway a week later. The buildings doors were absurdly designed if one was open, the other wouldnt budge unless you shut the first. Jane was late for work, tried to open her flats door and it wouldnt move. The neighbour apologised, closed his flat, and Jane heard quick, light footsteps.
Later, she blocked his exit on purpose, just for fun. They met on the communal garden, and he let her go first through the gate.
One afternoon Tom helped Christine (a friend) lift her bike, and Jane baked some scones and handed them over.
At the park Toms son about the same age as Christines kid joined in, and the kids made fast friends, swinging on the rides while Jane and Tom chatted.
Six months on, Tom asked Jane out on a proper date, introduced her to his family, and they moved in together. Before that, hed shared his story:
Jane, Im not a twentyyearold lad, Im a grown man with my own opinions and quirks. I promise if you live with me, I wont cheat. Ill do the hard work, Ill earn, I dont drink or smoke, no nasty habits. Ill respect and value you Im sorry if I cant love you the way you want, Ive tried. Im not a stone, I do have feelings, just not the ones you expect. I was once in love with a girl when I was younger she was warm, made me feel good it never worked out, she saw me as a friend, I couldnt shake it.
Jane asked, Should I have talked to her?
He laughed, Do you think Im a whiner? I tried to explain why we should be together, said I love you more than life. I just asked her to listen. Shed broken up with her husband then, so I said my piece.
She told him shed always treated him like a brother, not a lover, but shed still cared. He asked why hed split with Inna.
I just wasnt in love with her, he said honestly.
Shes nice, smart, funny you dont love her? She loves you, whats the problem?
He realized shed never loved him, just poked him like a kitten. He couldnt stay with someone he didnt love, yet he tried to force it.
He eventually married.
No, I wasnt a walking zombie. I lived, had fun, just when I thought about the woman I truly love, love feels like a curse for me. I feel broken, like I cant give a woman happiness. Women listen with their ears, I cant lie.
I just want you to decide if you can live without big emotions. My wife couldnt.
Dont answer now, think about it.
Jane thought it over, and a week later she met his big, lively family. They welcomed her and her daughter warmly. Shed been nervous, fearing shed be seen as a replacement, but everything went smoothly.
She never regretted marrying Tom. He was dependable, they solved all her problems together, she tried not to dwell on passion, and things were fine. Occasionally, a stray glance from Tom would hint at the past, but it never dented their life.
Sometimes, that lingering look would bother her who wouldnt wish their partner could change a bit? Shed thought shed married out of convenience, but grew to love him.
One spring morning, Tom was washing the windows, the sun blazing, and he sang softly while Jane watched. He stepped into the room, admiring her, feeling free, content.
Hey, Tom, whats up? Jane asked.
Nothing, just everythings right, he replied, twirling a dishcloth, dancing a little.
He kissed Jane, finally realizing how much she meant to him.
Jane thought, The old gran wasnt lying you just have to wait.
Good morning, lovebirds! If you havent found your love yet, may it flutter right to your window. And if you already have it, cherish it. Sending you warm hugs, sunshine, and a dash of positivity.
