Everyones invited to the birthday except you, announced my sister in the family group chat.
Enough, Mum! I cant drive up to you every week I have a life of my own!
Emma pressed the phone to her ear, feeling a hot knot form inside. It was the third call that day, each with the same complaints.
Emma, love, how could you? Lucy visited yesterday with a tin of scones. And you havent called all week!
Mum, I called the day before yesterday! And I bring scones too, just not every day.
Thats the point not every day. Lucy does it every week. Thats what a daughter is supposed to be.
Emma closed her eyes and counted to ten. These arguments repeated endlessly. Older sister Lucy had always been Mums favourite, since they were children.
Mum, I have an early shift tomorrow. Can we talk later?
Of course, youre always busy. Lucy has work too, but she always finds the time.
Emma hung up without saying goodbye. She was exhausted, worn out by the constant comparisons.
The phone buzzed again. A new message appeared in the family chat. Emma opened it and read Lucys long post:
Hi everyone! As you know, Mums 60th birthday is coming up. Im organising a celebration at The Rosewood Hotel. All relatives are invited. Ive booked a table for twenty. Please confirm your attendance by Friday.
Below was a list of aunts, uncles, cousins and even a thirdcousin from Leeds, whom theyd only met once. Emma scrolled to the end her name was missing.
She reread the message, hoping shed misspelled something. No, she wasnt on the list.
Lucy, am I invited? she typed.
The reply was instant:
Everyones invited except you. Mum decided that.
Emma stared at the screen, the words blurring. Was it a joke? Had Lucy just been cruel?
Family members began confirming attendance. Aunt Zoe said shed be there, cousin Simon wrote hed come with his wife. No one asked why Emma wasnt listed.
She dialled Mum. Rings. One, two, three. No answer.
She called Lucy.
Hello? Lucys voice was calm, almost detached.
Lucy, why am I not on the guest list?
I told you, Mum doesnt want you at her party.
Why?
Lucy paused.
She thinks youre a bad daughter, that you dont care about her.
Thats not true! I call, I visit, I help!
Apparently not enough, Lucy said, a hint of satisfaction in her tone. Mum said she doesnt want you there, and Im backing her up.
Youre backing her up? Im your sister!
And thats why I know what you really are selfish, only thinking of yourself.
What are you talking about?
That youve lived your whole life the way you want. You left town when Mum needed you. You married James even though Mum objected. You had only one child, even though Mum wanted grandchildren.
Emma could not believe what she was hearing.
Its a crime to study away from home! Lucy retorted.
You could have studied here. There are colleges too.
My course was only there! And James is a good man, Mum just doesnt understand.
Yes, everything is wrong for Mum. You never listened, you always did the opposite.
This is my life!
And Mums life too. If she doesnt want you at her celebration, thats that.
Lucy hung up. Emma stood alone in her oneroom flat, stunned. She had not been invited to her own mothers birthday because she was deemed a bad daughter.
She sank onto the sofa, covering her face with her hands. Tears welled, but she held them back. There was no time to weep; she needed to understand what was happening.
She dialled Mum again. This time she answered.
Emma, why are you calling?
Im asking why I wasnt invited.
Mum sighed heavily.
Sweetheart, you know why. You hardly ever call, hardly ever visit. It hurts.
But I live three hundred miles away! I cant be there every week.
Lucy lives right here. Shes a halfhour away by car.
So you see, shes close, youre far. You chose to leave.
I didnt choose to leave! I have work, a family here!
Thats exactly why I feel abandoned.
Emma felt helpless wash over her.
This is your birthday, Mum. How can I not be there?
You should have been a better daughter.
I try!
Its not enough. Lucy tries. I want to spend my day with those who love and value me.
I love you!
Show it, not just say it. Im sorry, Emma. The decisions final.
Mum hung up. Emma sat, phone still pressed to her ear, unable to process.
James returned home an hour later, seeing Emmas reddened eyes.
Emma, whats wrong?
She told him everything. He listened, frowned, shook his head.
This is absurd! How can they not invite their own daughter?
It seems possible.
What about your sister? How could she let this happen?
Lucy has always sided with Mum. Theyve been a pair since childhood. Ive felt like the outsider.
James sat beside her.
Maybe its a misunderstanding?
No, Emma. Its a buildup of years.
She paced the room.
Ive always felt guilty for leaving, for marrying James against Mums wishes, for having only Ethan instead of three children Mum wanted.
You had the right to choose your life, James said.
You did, but every choice costs something.
James put his arm around her.
Maybe its for the best. You wont have to face the drama at the party, the gossip behind your back.
Emma considered that. Was it better not to go?
The next day she called Aunt Zoe, who had always been kind to her.
Hello, Zoe. Did you see the chat about Mums birthday?
Yes, Im choosing a gift.
Did you notice I wasnt on the list?
Zoe paused.
Yes, I was surprised, honestly.
And you didnt say anything?
What could I say? Its Mums decision. Lucy explained it to me.
What did she say?
That you rarely call, you dont give Mum enough attention. That Tamara (Mums name) is hurt.
Emma clenched the phone.
I live far away! I cant visit weekly!
I understand, love, but Lucy is nearby and helps Mum a lot drives her to doctors, brings groceries, helps around the house.
So Im a bad daughter because I live in another city?
No ones saying youre a bad daughter. Its just that Tamara wants company. She feels lonely.
She has two daughters! I call, I visit when I can, I send money!
Money isnt the same as presence. She wants people close.
I cant drop everything and move back!
Zoe sighed.
No one asks that of you. Just try to understand Mum. Shes sixty, shes aging, and it scares her.
Isnt it unfair?
It hurts, of course. But try to talk calmly. Maybe things will smooth out.
Emma hung up, promising herself to try a calm conversation. But Mum never listened.
Later that evening cousin Kate messaged:
Emma, I saw you werent invited. Is that true?
It is. Mum doesnt want me there.
Thats madness! Youre her daughter!
According to her, Im a bad daughter.
What if I speak to Aunt Tamara? Maybe shell change her mind?
Give it a try if you want.
Kate later called.
I spoke to your Mum.
And?
Shes firm. She says shes tired of your indifference, that you abandoned her, and Lucy backs her up.
Got it.
Maybe you should call more often? Visit?
Emmas anger flared.
I call three times a week, visit every monthandahalf. Thats the most I can manage.
Is that not enough?
How much more? Every day? Move in with her?
I dont know. She just feels abandoned.
I feel guilty for no reason. Enough.
She hung up, hands trembling. Everyone kept saying she didnt call enough, didnt visit enough, didnt give enough attention.
Her son Ethan entered the room, sixteen, lanky, looking at her with concern.
Mum, why are you so sad?
Just stuff, love.
What kind?
She didnt want to involve him in the family feud, but his earnest look made her speak.
Mum didnt invite me to her birthday.
Ethans eyes widened.
How come? Why?
She thinks Im a bad daughter.
Thats nonsense! I call, I visit, I send money!
Apparently thats not enough.
Ethan sat beside her on the sofa.
Maybe you should just skip it? If theyre that awful, why go?
Its my mother, Ethan.
So if she doesnt respect you, does it matter?
Emma looked at her son. It seemed simple when he said it. Yet she couldnt simply walk away from family.
A week passed. Emma replayed the birthday in her mind, angry, hurt, crying. James tried to distract her, but the ache stayed.
Lucy posted another message in the chat:
Reminder the birthday is in a week. Anyone who hasnt confirmed, please do so. We need a final headcount.
Emmas name was still absent, as if she never existed.
She decided on one last attempt. She drove to her hometown unannounced.
Mum opened the door, surprised.
Emma? What are you doing here?
May I come in?
Mum grudgingly let her in. The flat looked the same: old sofa, wallpaper, family photos, but now a large picture of Lucy with her children dominated the wall.
Sit down, Mum said, gesturing to the sofa. Tea?
Yes, please.
They sat in the kitchen, sipping tea. Emma didnt know where to start.
Mum, I came to talk about the birthday.
Mum placed her cup down.
No, Emma. Ive already decided.
But thats wrong! Im your daughter!
Youre the daughter who left.
I didnt leave! I moved to study, work, live my own life!
Exactly. Your own life, not mine.
Emma felt the heat rise.
Mum, I was twenty when I left. I had the right to build my own future.
You had the right, but you could have stayed, married a local man, had more children, been nearer.
James is a good man!
He took you away from me.
He didnt take me away! We chose to live where his job was.
Mum waved her hand.
Its all the same. Youre far, Im struggling.
Lucy is close because shes a good daughter. She cares for me.
I care too, in my own way!
Your care isnt enough.
Emma stood.
You know what, Mum? No matter what I do, itll never be enough because Im not Lucy. I chose a different path, and I have the right to that.
Mum replied, Wrong path.
My path! And I have the right to walk it.
Mum also rose.
Yes, you have. But Ill celebrate with those who value me.
Fine, Emma said, grabbing her bag. Then I wont impose any more. Live as you wish.
She left without looking back, tears streaming, but she didnt wipe them away. In the car she sat in silence, the engine idling, feeling the emptiness of a battle lost. Maybe it was time to let go.
James met her at the door, worried.
How did it go?
Nothing changed. Shes set.
Maybe its for the best. Youll be free from that guilt.
Maybe.
Emma lay on the sofa, closing her eyes. The guilt that had haunted her for years began to loosen. She had tried, she had spoken, but Mum wouldnt listen.
The birthday arrived. Relatives gathered, tables laden, Mum smiling through forced cheer, Lucy at her side, hugging her. Emma stayed at home, uninvited, feeling like an extra.
She turned off her phone and fell asleep.
The next morning Aunt Zoe called.
Emma, how are you?
Okay, Aunt Zoe.
I was at the party. Your Mum looked sad, smiling through it all. After everyone left she broke down, saying she missed her missing daughter.
Emma sat up.
She cried because I didnt come?
Yes. I told her youd probably turn up anyway, that she could count on you.
So she didnt invite me to see if Id force my way in?
Seems that way. She later said she regretted the whole thing.
Emma felt a mixture of relief and sorrow. She was sorry for her mothers loneliness, but pity was not a reason to sacrifice herself.
A week later Lucy sent a private message:
Mum wants to know why you dont call.
Emma replied, She doesnt want me, thats why.
Lucy didnt answer.
Two weeks later Mum called.
Emma, why havent you called?
Why should I? You said you want to be with those who love you. Im not one of them.
Mum, Im not a child you can command. I love you, but I have a husband, a job, a son.
Mum sobbed.
So Im not important to you?
I love you, but I cant be there every day.
I understand. Ill call when I can, visit when possible, but not on demand.
Mum was silent.
At least youre trying.
Im trying.
Mum whispered, Im sorry for the pain I caused.
Emma hung up, feeling a strange calm. She had set her boundaries. The choice was now hers and Mums.
That evening James asked, How did the talk go?
It went somewhere. She knows my limits now.
Will it work?
Well see, but Im finally standing up for myself.
James embraced her.
Im proud of you.
Yes?
You finally defended yourself, even against your own mother.
She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling lighter.
Months passed. Mum called a few times, conversations short but civil. Lucy disappeared from the chat. Relatives were quiet. Emma began to focus on herself: she joined a yoga class, finished books shed postponed, slept better, and felt less anxious.
Ethan noticed the change.
Mum, you seem different.
In a good way, she replied, smiling.
She realised the guilt that had gnawed at her for years was loosening. She didnt have to sacrifice her own life to earn her mothers love.
One afternoon Aunt Zoe phoned again.
How are you, love?
Fine, Aunt Zoe.
My Mum has changed since the birthday. Shes quieter, less complaining. She even told Lucy to stop nagging about me.
Really?
Yes. She even said shed like to visit us sometime.
Emma thought about it.
Maybe Ill call her, see how she is now.
Would you like that? Zoe asked.
Im not sure. I dont want to be the one who always makes the first move.
Sometimes the first step is what starts healing.
Emma considered.
A week later Mum asked, Can I come to stay with you for a few days?
Emma was taken aback.
Are you sure?
Yes. Ive been thinking a lot and I miss you.
Emma smiled, feeling a warmth she hadnt felt in years.
She welcomed Mum at the station. They hugged awkwardly, then settled at the kitchen table.
Mum, Im glad youre here, Emma said.
Im sorry for the birthday, for the hurt. I tried to control things, thinking it would keep me safe. I see now I was wrong.
Thank you for saying that.
Mum took Emmas hand.
I love you, Emma. I just wanted you close.
I love you too, Mum. I cant be here every day, but Ill call, Ill visit when I can.
Mum nodded.
This is a new start for us, without manipulation, just honesty.
Emma felt the old wounds begin to heal.
When Mum left a few days later, they embraced tightly.
Thank you for not walking away, Mum whispered.
Thank you for listening.
On the train platform, Emma watched the carriage disappear, feeling a sense of closure. The old roles had faded; a new, healthier relationship was beginning.
Back home, James asked, How did it feel?
Hard, but freeing. I finally stood up for myself and Mum finally understood.
Will it work?
Well keep trying. It wont be perfect, but its real.
Emma settled onto the sofa, opened aShe learned that love thrives when boundaries are respected, and that a peaceful heart is the greatest gift she could give herself and her mother.
