Everyones invited to the birthday except you, announced my sister in the family group chat.
Mum, enough! I cant be driving up every week! I have a life of my own!
Poppy clutched the phone, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. Mum had called three times that day, each time with the same complaints.
Poppy, love, how could you? Lucy came over yesterday with a tin of scones. And you havent called all week!
Mum, I phoned the day before yesterday! And Ill bring the scones too, just not every single day!
Thats exactly the point not every day. Lucy does it every week. Thats how a proper daughter behaves.
Poppy closed her eyes, counting to ten. The argument was a replay of an old record. Her older sister, Lucy, had always been Mums favourite, ever since they were little.
Mum, I have an early shift tomorrow. Can we talk later?
Of course, darling, youre always busy. Lucy still finds time to work, but she manages to be there.
Poppy hung up without a goodbye. She was exhausted weary of the endless comparisons.
The phone buzzed again. A message appeared in the family chat. Poppy opened the messenger and read Lucys long post:
Hello, everyone! As you know, Mums 60th birthday is coming up. Im organising a party at The Rose & Crown. All relatives are invited. Ive booked a table for twenty. Please confirm your attendance by Friday.
The list followed aunts, uncles, cousins, even a thirdcousin from Sheffield whom theyd met only once. Poppy scrolled to the end. Her name was missing.
She read the message a second time. Maybe a mistake? No. She wasnt on the list.
She typed into the chat:
Lucy, am I invited?
The reply came instantly:
Everyones invited to the birthday except you. Mum decided that.
Poppy stared at the screen, the words blurring. She read it again, a third time. Was it a joke? Had Lucy simply been cruel?
No one else objected. Aunt Zoe confirmed shed be there. Cousin Sam said hed arrive with his wife. No one asked why Poppys name was omitted.
Poppy dialled Mum. The line rang one, two, three rings and went straight to voicemail. She called Lucy.
Hello? Lucys voice was calm, almost indifferent.
Lucy, whats this about? Why am I not on the guest list?
I told you. Mum doesnt want you at her party.
Why?
Lucy paused.
She thinks youre a bad daughter, that you dont care about her.
Thats not true! I call, I visit, I help!
It isnt enough, Lucy said, a note of satisfaction in her tone. Mum said she doesnt want you there, and Im backing her.
Youre backing her? Im your sister!
Yes, and thats why I know exactly what you are selfish, only looking after yourself.
What are you on about?
About the fact youve lived your life how you please. You left town when Mum needed help. You married James even though Mum disapproved. You had only one child when she hoped for grandchildren.
Poppy couldnt believe her ears.
Youre serious? I went to university! I got a degree! Thats a crime?
You could have studied here. There are colleges in this town too.
My specialty was there! And James is a good bloke, Mum just cant see it.
Lucys words cut deep.
Its my life, Poppy replied.
And Mums life too. If she doesnt want you at her birthday, thats that.
Lucy hung up. Poppy stood in her onebedroom flat, stunned. Shed been excluded from her own mothers celebration because she was deemed a bad daughter.
She sank onto the sofa, covering her face with her hands. Tears gathered, but she held them back. There was no time to weep; she needed to understand what was happening.
She dialled Mum again. This time she answered.
Mum, is it true you dont want me at your birthday?
Poppy, why are you calling? Lucys handling everything, dont worry.
Mum, why wasnt I invited?
There was a long silence, then a heavy sigh.
Darling, you know why. You barely call, you barely visit. It hurts me.
Mum, I live three hundred miles away! I cant be there every week!
Lucy drives over.
Lucy lives in the same town! Shes half an hours drive away.
So you see, shes close. You chose to leave.
I didnt choose! My job, my family are here!
Exactly, your family. Im not part of that.
Poppy felt the wave of helplessness crash over her.
Mum, this is your birthday. Sixty years. How can I not be there?
You should have been a better daughter, long ago.
Im trying to be a good daughter!
Its not enough. Lucy is trying. Ive decided to spend my day with those who love and value me.
I love you!
Then show it, not just with words. Im sorry, Poppy. My minds made up.
Mum hung up. Poppy sat, phone still pressed to her ear, unable to process.
James came home an hour later, saw the red shadows under Poppys eyes and instantly grew concerned.
Poppy, whats happened?
She told him everything. He listened, frowned, shook his head.
This is absurd! How can a mother not invite her own daughter to her birthday?
It seems you can.
And Lucy? How could she let this happen?
Lucy has always been Mums right hand. Shes the favourite. I feel like an outsider.
James sat beside her on the sofa.
Maybe its just a misunderstanding?
No, James. Its not a misunderstanding. Its been building for years.
Poppy paced the room.
You know, I always felt guilty for leaving, for marrying you against Mums wishes, for having only Oliver instead of a brood.
Poppy, you have the right to make those choices.
Yes, but each choice costs something.
James put his arm around her shoulders.
Maybe its for the best. If you dont go, youll spare yourself the drama. Theyll all be there, gossiping about you behind your back. Why attend?
She thought about it. Perhaps staying away was easier, but the sting of being excluded by her own mother was sharp.
The next day Poppy called Aunt Zoe, who had always been warm to her.
Aunt Zoe, hello. Its Poppy.
Poppy, love! How are you?
Did you see the chat about Mums birthday?
Yes, Im sorting out a gift.
Did you notice I wasnt on the list?
Aunt Zoe paused.
I did, dear. It surprised me, honestly.
And you said nothing?
What could I say? Its Mums decision. Lucy called and explained.
What did she say?
She said you rarely visit, you dont give Mum enough attention. That Tamara I mean Mum feels hurt.
Poppy clenched the phone.
Mum, I live far away! I cant be there every week!
I understand, dear, but Lucy is nearby. Shes the one who brings Mum groceries, drives her to appointments, helps around the house.
So Im a bad daughter because I live in another city?
No one called you a bad daughter. Mum just wants company. Shes lonely, its hard for her.
She has two daughters! I call, I visit when I can, I send money!
Money isnt the same as being there.
But I cant just move back!
Aunt Zoe sighed.
Nothings being asked of you. Just try to understand Mum. Shes sixty, getting older, scared.
Its not scared, its angry!
Maybe. But try a calm conversation. Perhaps itll sort out.
Poppy hung up, feeling the weight of the same advice over and over. She tried to speak calmly, but Mum wouldnt listen.
That evening a cousin, Kate, messaged the group.
Poppy, I saw you werent on the guest list. Is that true?
It is. Mum doesnt want me there.
Thats madness! Youre her daughter!
A bad daughter, according to her.
What if I talk to Aunt Tamara? Maybe shell change her mind?
Give it a try if you wish.
Kate replied shed try. Poppy didnt hold much hope.
The next day Kate called.
I spoke to your Mum.
And?
Shes firm. She says shes tired of your indifference, that youve abandoned her. Lucy backs her up. Theyre both set.
Maybe I should call more? Visit more?
Poppy felt anger flare.
I call three times a week, I visit once a monthandahalf. Thats all I can manage.
Is that not enough?
How many times is enough? Every day? Move back?
I dont know. She just feels abandoned.
I feel guilty for no reason. Enough. Im done apologising.
She hung up, hands trembling. Everyone kept saying she didnt call enough, didnt visit enough, didnt give enough attention. What about her feelings? Her life?
Her sixteenyearold son Oliver walked in, tall and lanky, his fathers eyes.
Mum, why are you so sad?
Just a problem, love.
What problem?
Grandma didnt invite me to her birthday.
Olivers eyes widened.
How could she not? Why?
She thinks Im a bad daughter.
Thats nonsense! I call, I visit, I send money!
Its still not enough.
Oliver sat beside her on the sofa.
Maybe you should just skip it? If theyre all like that, why go?
Its my mother, Oliver.
So what if she doesnt respect me? Does it matter?
Poppy looked at her son. It sounded so simple from his mouth if she doesnt respect you, why bother? Yet she couldnt just walk away. Family, even a difficult one, was still family.
A week passed. The birthday loomed. Lucy posted a reminder in the group: Birthday in a week. Anyone who hasnt confirmed, please do so. Need to finalise numbers.
Poppys name was still absent, as if she didnt exist.
She decided on one last attempt. She drove to her hometown, to Mums house, without warning.
Mum opened the door, surprise flashing across her face.
Poppy? What are you doing here?
Can I come in?
Mum grudgingly let her in. The flat was the same old sofa, a faded rug, family photos on the mantel. A large picture of Lucy with her children now dominated the wall.
Sit down, Mum gestured to the sofa. Want a cup of tea?
Please.
They sipped in silence.
Mum, Im here to talk about the birthday.
Mum set the cup down.
No, Poppy. Its all decided.
Its wrong! Im your daughter!
Youre the daughter who left.
I didnt leave! I went to study, work, live my own life!
Thats exactly why. You didnt think of me.
Poppy felt the heat rise again.
Mum, I was twenty when I moved away. I had the right to build a life.
You had the right, but you could have chosen differently stay, marry a local lad, have more kids, be near.
James is a good man!
He took you away from me.
He didnt take me; we chose a life where his job was.
Mum waved a hand.
Its the same outcome. Youre far, Im left struggling.
And Lucy is close because shes a good daughter. She looks after me.
I look after you in my own way!
Your care isnt enough.
Poppy stood, anger flaring.
You know what? No matter what I do, itll never be enough because Im not Lucy. I chose my own path.
Its the wrong path.
My path! I had the right to it!
Mum also rose.
Maybe. Live your life. Ill celebrate with those who value me.
Fine, Poppy said, grabbing her bag. If thats how it is, I wont keep pressing. Live as you wish.
She left without looking back, tears streaming, unshaken. In the car she sat with the engine off, a hollow feeling inside. Shed tried to negotiate, but Mum wouldnt hear.
James met her at the door, worry in his eyes.
How did it go?
Nothing. Shes stubborn.
Maybe its for the best. Youll be free of that guilt.
Maybe.
Poppy collapsed onto the sofa, closed her eyes. The guilt that had haunted her for yearsthe same that had begun when she left homestill lingered, but now it felt lighter.
The birthday arrived. Somewhere in the town, relatives gathered, tables set, gifts exchanged, Mum beamed at the camera with Lucy at her side. Poppy watched the photos pop up in the group chat, feeling something tear inside. Everyone was thereexcept her.
She turned off the phone and lay down.
The next morning Aunt Zoe called.
Poppy, love, how are you?
Fine, Aunt Zoe.
I was at the party yesterday. I wanted to tell you.
I saw the pictures.
Mum was smiling, but she looked sad later, when everyone left.
Why?
She said you werent there. She missed her favourite daughter.
I wasnt invited, Aunt Zoe!
She knows. I asked her what she expected. She thought youd turn up, push your way in.
So it was a test?
Seems so. Lucy said it was nonsense, that if you werent invited you shouldnt come. They argued about it.
What happened then?
Mum later said shed made a mistake, that shed tried to do the right thing but ended up as always. She regrets it.
Poppy lay back, exhausted.
Im tired of these games, these manipulations.
I get it, dear, but Mum does miss you.
Then let her learn how.
A week later Mum called unexpectedly.
Poppy, can I come stay with you?
Poppy was taken aback.
Come here? With Oliver?
Yes. I havent seen him in ages. And I need to talk to you.
Will Lucy be okay?
I didnt ask her permission. Im an adult, I decide.
Poppy smiled, the first genuine smile in days.
Come then. Youre welcome.
Mum arrived that weekend. Poppy greeted her at the station; they hugged, awkward but affectionate. In the house Mum admired the tidy living room, chatted with James and Oliver, and later, after the men had gone, they sat alone in the kitchen.
Mum, Im sorry about the birthday, she began. I was hurt.
I was wrong, Mum admitted. I tried to manipulate, thinking if I didnt invite you youd prove your love. I see now I overstepped.
Poppy listened in silence.
I understand now that you have a right to your life. I cant expect you to drop everything for me.
Thank you, Poppy said. I love you, butWe both smiled, knowing that love could finally exist alongside the boundaries we had finally learned to respect.
