Since youre not working, youll be cooking for us, my sisterinlaw blurted out the moment she stepped over the threshold.
Andrew, I cant take this any more! Are you even hearing me? I shouted.
Emma was standing in the middle of the living room, a tearsoaked baby Daisy cradled in her arms, feeling like everything inside her was about to boil over. Andrew was glued to his phone on the sofa, pretending not to notice either the babys wail or my pleas.
What now? he said without even looking up.
What now? I havent slept at all! Daisys had a fever and Ive been rocking her since midnight. And you just slept soundly in the spare bedroom and didnt even stir! I snapped.
Ive got work tomorrow actually, today. I need to get some rest, he replied.
And I dont, huh? Im a robot, right? On my feet all day, every day! I snapped back.
Andrew finally tore his eyes away from the screen and glared at me.
Emma, stop having a fit. Youre at home, you can rest during the day. Im working from sunrise to sunset to keep us all fed. He sounded exhausted, but it felt like a punch.
A lump rose in my throat. I felt like I was supposed to be on holiday, not up all night in a mess of dirty nappy changes and sleeplessness.
Fine, I said, rocking Daisy until she finally quieted. Go to bed. I wont bother you any more. I slipped off the sofa and held the warm little body close. Daisy was only eight months, still not sleeping through the night and needing constant attention. I was so drained it seemed Id run out of energy altogether.
Andrew and I had married three years ago. Back then things were different. He courted me, brought flowers, and said sweet things. I worked as an administrator at a medical centre, and Andrew was a manager at a construction firm. We lived modestly but happily. Then I got pregnant.
At first Andrew was thrilled. He talked about wanting a son and a happy family. But once I went on maternity leave, something shifted. He stopped helping around the house, spent more time at work or out with his mates. When Daisy was born, he practically disappeared.
I knew a newborn is stressful for everyone sleepless nights, endless crying, fatigue. I hoped wed get through it together, but Andrew built a wall instead.
After putting Daisy down, I headed to the kitchen. It was half past eleven and I hadnt even had breakfast. The sink was piled with yesterdays dirty dishes, and a pot of porridge was burnt on the hob. I turned the kettle on halfasleep and started washing up.
My phone buzzed. A message from Andrew: Mum and Charlotte are arriving this evening. Theyll stay for a week. Sort something for dinner.
I read it three times. Mum and sisterinlaw, for a whole week, and he hadnt even asked if that was okay.
I replied, Andrew, I have a baby. How am I supposed to look after them too?
His instant reply: Dont worry, just be nice. Theyre family.
Mum, Margaret, had always been chilly with me, as if I werent good enough for her son. Charlotte, Andrews sister, was a successful businesswoman who ran a small salon, proud of being single. Shed openly said children were a career roadblock. Now they were both coming to my flat for a week.
That evening I managed to tidy up, whip up a pot of borscht and some meatballs, and change Daisy into clean clothes. I threw on the first thing I could find old jeans and a crumpled Tshirt. I hadnt thought about my appearance in ages.
The doorbell rang at seven. Andrew opened it; hed just gotten home from work and plonked himself on the sofa.
Mum! Charlotte! Come in! he called.
Margaret swept into the hallway, scanning everything with a critical eye. Charlotte followed in an expensive suit and high heels, a large handbag in tow.
Hello, I said, wiping my hands on a towel.
Hello, Margaret replied dryly, heading straight into the living room without even taking off her shoes. Andrew, can you help with the bags?
Charlotte stopped at the doorway, eyeing me. Did you spend the whole day here? At least dress decently when you have guests.
My cheeks flushed. Sorry, Ive been looking after the baby all day.
Right, Charlotte said, slipping off her heels and heading into the lounge where Margaret had already made herself comfortable. Mum, I told you this place was a mess.
I stood there, unsure what to do. Andrew floated around, asking how their journey had been, never really looking at me.
Will you be having dinner? I asked, peeking into the room.
Whats on the table? Margaret asked, squinting.
Borscht and meatballs, I replied.
Borscht? Charlotte snorted. We were hoping for something light a salad, maybe some poached fish.
I didnt know I started.
Just bring whatever you have, Margaret waved her hand. Dont let it go to waste.
I set the table, but Margaret and Charlotte nitpicked everything the soup was too salty, the meatballs dry, the bread stale. Andrew ate in silence, not defending me.
Wheres the baby? Margaret asked once wed finished eating.
Shes sleeping, I said, gathering the dirty plates.
Wake her up, I want to see my granddaughter, Margaret demanded.
She just fell asleep, better not disturb her. Shell be up later, I tried to explain.
I said wake her up, Margarets voice hardened. Or should I do it myself?
I went to the nursery. Daisy was sleeping, tiny arms stretched out, looking peaceful. It hurt to wake her, but I had no choice.
What a baby, Charlotte muttered as I carried the sleepy, now slightly whimpering Daisy into the living room. Always crying.
Shes only eight months, I said, trying to soothe her. She got scared when we woke her up.
Thats why I dont want kids, Charlotte said, turning away. Just trouble.
Margaret took Daisy in her arms, turning her this way and that. Shes so skinny. Are you feeding her properly?
Of course I am! I snapped.
You must have no time for yourself. Look at this flat, its not spotless.
I clenched my fists. Id spent the whole day cleaning, cooking, caring for Daisy, and it still wasnt enough.
Maybe youd like to go somewhere else to relax? Andrew offered. Youve been on your feet all day.
Yes, thank you, Margaret said, handing Daisy back to me. Andrew, show us where well be sleeping.
Ive set up a sofa bed in the lounge, I said. Thats all the space we have two rooms, one nursery.
A sofa bed? Charlotte raised an eyebrow. Seriously?
Charlotte, why dont you take the nursery? Andrew suggested. Well move Daisy to our bedroom for the night.
I wanted to argue, but I stayed quiet. It was useless.
When the guests finally settled, I moved Daisys crib into my bedroom. The little one started fussing once shed been woken, and I rocked her, sang gentle lullabies, but she kept crying.
Emma, do something! Andrew rolled over. I have work tomorrow!
Im trying! I snapped back.
Not trying enough! he shouted.
I slipped out of the bedroom with Daisy, shut the kitchen door, and sat on a stool, cradling my baby and letting the tears fall.
In the morning a knock at the bedroom door woke me.
Emma, get up! Its nine oclock! someone shouted.
I opened my eyes. Daisy was still asleep in her cot, Andrew was nowhere to be seen. I threw on a robe and headed to the kitchen.
Margaret and Charlotte were there, looking displeased.
Weve been up for an hour and theres no breakfast, Charlotte complained. At least you managed to turn the kettle on.
Im sorry, I didnt hear you get up, I said, moving to the stove. What would you like?
An omelette, Margaret said. But not in butter, just dry. I cant have any fat.
Ill have porridge, Charlotte added. With water, no sugar. And a proper coffee, not instant.
I didnt have any ground beans, only instant, but I kept quiet and started cooking.
Listen, Charlotte said, leaning back in her chair. Since youre not working, youll be cooking for us. Properly, not this borscht and meatballs nonsense. Well give you a list of what to buy and how to make it.
I froze, whisk in hand.
What?
Its not a big deal, Charlotte shrugged. Youre home all day anyway, so at least you can be useful.
Ive got a baby!
The baby sleeps half the day. You have plenty of time.
I looked at Margaret, hoping for support, but she just nodded.
Charlottes right. Were family, we should help each other. You could use some practice, you know, your cooking isnt great.
Wheres Andrew? I asked, feeling my anger rise.
He left early for work, Margaret said, taking a sip of tea. By the way, your sugar is cheap. Next time buy a better brand.
I finished the breakfast in silence. My hands shook, but I kept it together, plating the omelette and the bland porridge, cleaning up as I went.
This is awful, Charlotte said, pushing the porridge away. Its all clumpy. Fix it.
Im not going to remake it, I said quietly but firmly.
What? Charlotte stared.
I said I wont. Eat whats there or make it yourself.
How dare you talk to us like that? Margaret snapped, tapping her cup on the saucer. Were guests in this house!
Guests dont get treated like servants, I replied, taking off my apron. I have a job too Im a mother, I look after our child.
Charlotte laughed. A mother isnt a job, love. Its nothing. Youre just sitting on my brothers lap.
Enough, I said, turning to leave the kitchen.
Where are you going? Margaret called after me. You havent even washed the dishes!
I didnt answer. I went to the bedroom, closed the door, and grabbed my phone. I texted Andrew: Your mum and sister are being rude. Either you step in or Ill go stay with my parents. He replied half an hour later: Dont make a fuss. They just want to help. Hang in there for a week. Hang in there, I muttered, throwing the phone onto the bed.
Daisy woke up and started wailing. I lifted her, changed her, fed her, while I could hear Margaret and Charlotte arguing in the kitchen. Words like ungrateful and Andys mistake floated over.
I took Daisy for a walk in the park, just to get out of the house. I pushed the stroller past the golden autumn trees, trying to decide what to do next.
When I got back, the flat smelled of something frying. Margaret was at the stove, making potatoes with mushrooms.
Oh, youre back, she said without turning. Where were you?
Out walking, I answered.
Right. Since you dont want to cook, Ive made it myself. Andy loves mushrooms. Your fridge is almost empty, isnt it?
I slipped past her, put Daisy down to sleep, and sank onto the bedroom floor, staring at the wall. What had happened to me? Id once been confident, cheerful, with friends, a job, hobbies. Now I felt like a trapped mouse, scared to speak up in my own home.
Evening came and Andy returned in good spirits.
How was your day? he asked, kissing his mum on the cheek.
Fine, Andy. I made you some mushroom potatoes, your favourite, I said.
Thanks, mum! he laughed, sitting down. Wheres Emma?
Shes in the bedroom, just I trailed off.
Emma, youre being rude this morning, Margaret said, setting plates down. We asked you to make breakfast and you snapped.
Its not true! They told me Id be cooking for them because Im not doing anything! I protested.
Andy frowned. Emma, seriously? Can you hold out a week? Theyre family, not strangers.
Andy, do you hear what theyre saying? I asked.
I hear it. Its normal. Youre home, you can help, he replied.
Im not just home! I have a child! I snapped.
The baby sleeps half the day, Charlotte interjected. Stop hiding behind that.
I looked at Andys indifferent face, saw him calmly taking his potatoes. I realised he was never on my side. Never.
Its clear, I said, standing up. Im leaving.
He tried to stop me, but I walked out, closed the door, and leaned against it, tears choking me but I didnt sob. I needed to think.
The next morning I got up before anyone else, packed a bag for myself and Daisy a few changes, my documents, some cash. When Daisy awoke, I fed and dressed her, called a taxi and left. Margaret and Charlotte were still asleep, Andy was in bed, nobody saw me go.
My parents live on the other side of the city in a modest threebed flat. Mum opened the door in a robe, half asleep.
Emma? Whats happened?
Mum, can we stay with you for a while? I asked.
She didnt say a word, just let me in. Dad came out, saw us, and immediately understood.
That bloke again? he said, meaning Andy.
Dad, please, I whispered, sinking onto the sofa. I just need somewhere to be.
Mum took Daisy in her arms, hugging her tight.
Of course, love. Stay as long as you need.
Andy called an hour later.
Emma, where are you? Mum says youre not home!
Im at my parents.
What do you mean, at my parents? Come back now!
No.
What does no mean? Youre a wife, your place is at home!
Andy, Im exhausted. Im done with you, your mum, your sister. I need time to think.
What am I supposed to think about? Stop making a scene! They asked you to cook, thats it! he shouted.
It wasnt a request, it was a demand. Like a servant. And you chose their side.
It wasnt my side! I just want peace at home! he said.
Silence fell. I asked, When will you come back?
I dont know. Maybe never.
Are you serious? he asked, his voice cracking.
Its very serious. Im tired of being nobody in my own family. I hung up, my hands shaking, heart pounding. For the first time in ages I felt Id done the right thing.
Mum brought us tea and sat beside me.
Tell me everything, she said.
I recounted the months of Andy pulling away after Daisy was born, the endless exhaustion, the arrival of mum and sister, their nastiness. She listened, nodding.
My dear, why didnt you speak up sooner? she asked.
I thought I could manage, that it would pass.
Nothing passes on its own. You have to act, she said. You did the right thing. You left.
Dad, reading the paper, looked up. Youre an adult, you decide. Were on your side, whatever happens. He gave me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.
That night a friend, Lucy, called.
Emma, I heard you left Andy. Whats up?
Its a mess, I sighed. Mum and Charlotte are awful, Andys a mess.
Girl, you deserve better. Stay away from that guy. Kids pick up on this stuff. Theyll think a womans job is to be a servant.
Youre right. Im scared, I admitted.
Youre strong. Well help you, Lucy said. Youre not alone.
Her words lifted a weight off my shoulders. Maybe it was time to end it.
A week later Andy turned up at my parents with flowers and a present for Daisy.
Emma, Ive thought a lot. Lets start fresh. Ill change, I swear.
How many times have you sworn before? I asked.
This time Im serious. Ive booked an appointment with a therapist. First session is in two days. He showed his phone, a confirmation.
Okay, I said slowly. Ill think about it.
Can I at least see Daisy? he asked.
Sure, I replied.
He went into the bedroom, gently stroked Daisys cheek. For the first time in a long while I sawAs Andy whispered a lullaby, I finally felt the possibility of a future where we all could heal together.
