My son has turned into a total slob, and his girlfriend mirrors him perfectly. Im exhausted from living in their mess.
I never imagined Id say this out loud, but Ive had enough. Enough of the dirty dishes, the floor that hasnt seen a broom in weeks, the lingering smell of leftover food, and the feeling of staying with careless roommates instead of in my own home. All because my son and his sweetheart, who have been crashing here for two months, treat my apartment as a vacation spot.
Louis is twenty. Hes enrolled in a distancelearning bachelor’s program, just finished his military service, and landed a job right away. In theory, hes an adultselfsufficient, contributing to the bills, not just idling. I was proud of him. That was until that fateful conversation.
Mom, he said one day, Mathildes situation at home is terrible. Her parents are constantly fighting, its chaotic, and she cant even study in peace. Can she stay with us for a while until things calm down? We wont cause any trouble.
I felt sorry for her. Id seen her beforeshy, polite, eyes down, softspoken. How could I refuse? Louis had a spare room, after all. I didnt expect the gift it would become.
At first they tried: dishes put away, floor swept, no noise. We even set up a cleaning scheduleSaturday their turn, Wednesday mine. I thought maybe they had finally matured. But three weeks later everything collapsed.
Dirty plates with dried scraps lingered in the sink for days, hair and wrappers littered the floor. The bathroom showed shampoo stains, hair clogs, soap residue. Their bedroom resembled a den: clothes tossed everywhere, crumbs on the desk, an unmade bed. Mathilde roamed around with a mask on her face, phone glued to her hand, as if she were at a spa, not in my home.
I tried to talk, to ask, to remind them. The answer was always the same: We havent had time, well do it later. But later never arrived. So I started handing them the mop and cleaning suppliesno accusations, just silently. Still nothing changed. Once they spilled sauce on the tablecloth and walked away without wiping it. I ended up cleaning the whole mess myself.
When I stepped into their room and saw the chaos, I couldnt stay silent:
Does it bother you to live like this?
Louis, unflinching, replied:
Geniuses thrive in chaos.
I see no genius in that messjust two adults who find it convenient to live like pigs and expect their mother to serve them.
Louis promised to helpgroceries, chores. In reality, he only pays the bills. He does the shopping once a week, but sushi, pizza and other deliveries arrive almost daily. They offer me these meals, but they dont warm my heartthe fridge stays empty. With that money, we could feed an entire family.
Mathilde doesnt work; shes studying. She receives a scholarship but never contributes a cent to groceries or cleaning. All her money goes to frivolities. When I suggested adjusting expenses, even a little assistance, she shrugged, offended.
I raised Louis alone. His father left before he was born. My parents helped, I worked double, saved, did everything for him. I never blamed him, and I wont start now. But watching my apartment turn into a squalor I cant endure any longer.
Ive tried calm discussionsonce, twice, three times The handholds are clear: they wont change. They think Im a nagging old woman who should be grateful they even tolerate me under the same roof.
Two months I held on. Thats enough. Ill tell them plainly: either you take responsibility for yourselves, or you move to student housing. Perhaps there theyll learn what it means to respect others work and personal space.
Im fed up being their housekeeper. I just want peace, no towering piles of dirty dishes, no stray socks in the kitchen.
What would you do? Should I risk a fight with my son, or keep turning a blind eye to this disaster in the home I built with my own hands?
My Son’s Life is a Tangle; My Daughter-in-Law Reflects It Back. I’m Exhausted from Living in Their Chaos.
