My son has become a total mess, and his girlfriend is a perfect reflection of him. Im drained from living in their chaos.
I never imagined Id say this out loud, but Ive had enough. Enough of the dirty dishes, the floor that hasnt seen a broom in weeks, the lingering smell of leftover meals, and the feeling of residing with careless housemates rather than in my own flat. All because my son and his girlfriend, who have been crashing here as if on vacation for two months, refuse to change.
Louis is twenty. Hes enrolled in a distancelearning bachelors program, just finished his military service, and immediately landed a job. An adult, in theoryselfsufficient, contributing to the bills, not idling away. I was proud of him. Until that infamous conversation.
Mom, he told me one day, Mathildes situation at home is terrible. Her parents are constantly fighting, the house is a mess, and she cant even study in peace. Can she stay with us for a while until things calm down? We wont cause any trouble.
I felt sorry for her. Id seen her beforeshy, polite, eyes down, softspoken. How could I refuse? Especially since Louis has his own room and theres space. I just didnt expect the gift that would follow.
At first they made an effort: dishes put away, floor swept, no noise. We even set up a cleaning scheduleSaturday was their turn, Wednesday mine. I thought maybe they had finally matured. But three weeks later everything collapsed.
Dirty plates with dried food lingered in the sink for days, hair and packaging littered the floor. The bathroom? Shampoo residues, hair clogging the drain, soap scum. Their bedroom resembled a den: clothes thrown everywhere, crumbs on the desk, the bed never made. Mathilde roamed around with a mask on her face, phone in hand, as if she were at a spa, not in my home.
I tried to talk, to ask, to remind them. The answer was always the same: We havent had time, well do it later. Except later never came. So I started handing them the mop and cleaning products directlyno blame, just silently. That didnt help either. Once they spilled sauce on the tablecloth and didnt wipe it up. They just left. And once again I ended up cleaning everything.
When I entered their room and saw the chaos, I couldnt stay silent:
Does it bother you to live like this?
Louis, without blinking, replied:
Geniuses thrive in chaos.
I see no genius in that messjust two adults who find it convenient to live like pigs and expect their mother to serve them.
Louis promised to helpgroceries, bills. In reality, he only pays the utilities. He does the shopping once a week, but sushi, pizza and other deliveries arrive almost daily. They offer me food, but it doesnt warm my heartthe fridge stays empty. With that money we could have fed the whole family.
Mathilde doesnt work; shes a student. She receives a grant but never contributes a cent to groceries or cleaning. All her money goes to frivolities. When I suggested a modest share of the expenses, she shrugged, offended.
I raised Louis alone. His father left before he was born. My parents helped, I worked double, saved, did everything for him. I never blamed him, and I dont want to start now. Yet watching my apartment turn into a squalor I cant tolerate any longer.
Ive tried calm discussionsonce, twice, three times The result is clear: they wont change. They think Im a nagging old woman who should be grateful they even tolerate me under the same roof.
Two months I held out. Thats enough. Ill tell them plainly: either you get your act together, or you move to student housing. Maybe there theyll learn what it means to respect other peoples work and space.
Because Im fed up being their maid. I just want a peaceful life, no stress, no piles of dirty dishes, no socks strewn across the kitchen.
What would you do? Should I risk a fight with my son, or keep turning a blind eye to this disaster in a home I built with my own hands?
My Son Has Turned into a Hot Mess; My Daughter-in-Law Reflects His Mayhem. I’m Exhausted from Living in Their Turmoil.
