Im a mess, spilling everything onto these pages because I have nowhere else to go. Ive spent most of my life on the streets of London, eking out a living wherever I can.
At fifty, Natalie Spencer has finally achieved everything she ever wanted. Shes the managing director of a large firm, has raised a daughter, and seen her marry well. She lives in a sleek flat in Kensington, drives a sleek Audi, and has a good husband who is often away on lengthy business trips. The distance between her and her daughter has grown; her child now lives far away, and despite all the material comforts, Natalie sometimes feels a deep, aching loneliness.
Natalies one small weakness is a tiny bakery on the corner of her office block that serves the best doughnuts and a proper cup of tea. When the thoughts swirl too dark, she slips in there for a brief refuge.
For a few days she watches a little girl, about six or seven, with a pair of mischievous braids, lingering around the bakery. The girl sometimes wipes a cars headlights for a few coins, other times simply begs. Oddly, she never eats the scraps she collects; she stuffs them into a little paper bag and disappears.
Natalie keeps an eye on her for a week, then decides to follow. The girl wanders to a charred, halfcollapsed house and slips inside the remaining hallway. Natalie steps in behind her. On a thin mattress lies a young woman, breathing laboriously. The little girl crouches and whispers,
Mum, open your eyesIve brought you something to eat.
The woman coughs, her voice hoarse. Natalie moves to stand behind the child.
Do you live here? she asks.
Who are you? the girl replies.
Im Natalie Spencer, but you can call me Aunt Nat. Whats your name? And your mothers?
Im Maisie, and my mum is Lily. Shes very ill and Ive been bringing her food. She hasnt eaten anything for two days.
Natalie reaches out, touches the womans forehead, and instantly understands. She pulls out her phone and calls an ambulance.
Oh Aunt Nat, theyll take my mum away. I dont want to end up in a childrens home.
You wont, Natalie says gently. While your mum is in hospital, you can stay with me. No one will scold you for being dirty.
The ambulance arrives, Lily is whisked to the A&E, and Natalie and Maisie head back to the bakery. After indulging in doughnuts, they climb into Natalie’s car. Maisie settles in the back seat and, before theyve even left the curb, drifts off to sleep.
Seeing the child asleep, Natalie decides to head to the shopping centre. While Maisie snoozes, she darts through the stores, buying groceries, a few outfits, and a few small comforts for the girl.
When they reach Lilys flat, Maisie wakes.
Here we are, love. Lets go inside.
The moment they step through the doorway, Maisie freezes.
Im dirty, Ill make everything a mess, she mutters.
Natalie smiles. Well sort that out. Slip off your shoes and follow me.
She leads Maisie to a large bathtub, fills it with warm water, and blows bubbles into the surface. The little girl giggles, splashing happily among the suds. Natalie rolls out a fluffy towel, wraps Maisie, and carries her to the bedroom. The child, so light and delicate, reminds Natalie of herself at that age.
They dress Maisie in the new clothes, each piece tried on in front of a fulllength mirror.
Aunt Nat, do I look pretty?
Absolutely, darling. Choose what youd like to wear, then well cook dinner together.
After a simple supper, the two clean up. Maisie tries hard to help, fetching dishes and wiping counters.
The next morning they visit Lily in the ward. She looks brighter, a faint colour returning to her cheeks.
Natalie steps aside to speak with the doctor.
Whats the diagnosis? she asks.
Its a severe chest infectionbronchitis, with significant weight loss. No signs of more serious inflammation, but shell need at least two weeks of care here.
Returning to the bedside, Natalie quietly slips out with Maisie. They decide to run a quick errand for Lily, buying fresh produce and a soft blanket. Maisie wanders the aisles with wideopen eyes, admiring the shop windows but asking for nothing. When she brushes a plush bear, she sighs, chuckles, and moves on.
Natalie picks the bear from the shelf, pays, and hands it to Maisie.
Is this for you? she asks.
Its perfect, thank you! Its the best present ever.
That evening Maisie cuddles the bear in bed, rubbing its head as she drifts to sleep.
A few days later they return to the hospital with a tray of treats. Lily looks more lively, and Natalie asks gently, Lily, can you tell me how you ended up here?
Lily pauses, then begins her story.
I have no family. I was orphaned, given a tiny flat where you found me. I went to college, but on the way home I tripped, fell hard, and a handsome young man helped me up. I fell in love at first sight. He courted me, then told me I was pregnant. He agreed to let me stay in his flat, but never married me. When Maisie was born, he refused to register her. I worked as a cleaner and dishwasher, his friends always around, never introducing me to his parents. When Maisie turned three, I wanted a job, and he shouted that the house had to be spotless. Then a fire burned my flat, we lost everything. His parents arrived, throwing us out, saying we had no rights. With nothing left, we returned to that burntout house. It started raining, I tried to cover Maisie, but we were soaked, freezing. My health worsened, and I feared for her. Then, out of the gloom, I heard your voice, Aunt Nat, warm and familiar. After that, everything is a blur.
Natalie squeezes Lilys hand. Dont worry, love. While youre in hospital, Maisie will stay with me. Well sort out a place for you both, and Ill head back home now.
She drives to the suburban culdesac where her beloved Aunt Kate livesKate Hughes, the best friend of Natalies late mother. On the way she picks up some biscuits and scones, then pulls up to Kates gate.
Bless my soul, look whos here! Kate exclaims, opening the door. Come in, love, lets have a cuppa and you can tell me everything.
They sit at the kitchen table, and Natalie recounts the recent events.
Oh dear, those poor things, Kate sighs. What do you need?
I was hoping you could let us have a spare room. Ill pay the rent each month.
Kate chuckles, You know Im on my own, my son passed years ago. Id be delighted to have you both under my roof.
Within two weeks Natalie brings Lily and Maisie to Kates cottage. Kate has already baked a fresh apple cake, laid out a pile of presentsgiftwrapped goodies for both Lily and Maisie. Lily opens the boxes, collapses onto the edge of the bed, and weeps.
Sweetheart, whats wrong? Kate asks.
Why does this have to happen to me? I thought I had nothing left, and then you and Aunt Nat appear.
Dont worry, just live with us. Youll be my granddaughter, and Maisie my greatgranddaughter. Well look after each other.
Time passes, and Kate grows attached to her two girls. Lily and Maisie find a warm, safe haven with her. Natalie visits often, bringing groceries and stories. Whenever Kate coughs, Lily tends to her, bustling around the house.
Maisie helps in the kitchen, learning to bake pies. One day Natalie arrives with another woman, and Lily, entering the living room, sees them sorting paperwork. She retreats to her bedroom.
Lily, dear, come sit with us, Kate calls. We need to talk.
Lily sits down, trembling.
My dear, Im alone now. God has sent you both to me in my old age. Ive written a will, ensuring you wont be left with nothing when Im gone. Its all for you to have a home.
Grandma, youre not feeling well. Why are you saying this? How will we manage?
Ill have a few more years, dont worry. Theres no one else for me now except you, Natalie, and Kate.
And so we continue, making do with what we have, grateful for every small kindness. This is the tangled, fragile life of an orphan and her daughter, reshaped by unexpected generosity and the stubborn hope that, as long as we have each other, well survive.
