Disappear, and hell instantly think of me, I muttered, halfjoking, halfserious. So, for the sake of everyone, vanish nicely, or else. I could feel his stare burning into my face.
What does any girl expect from a night out at the pictures with her beau? It really depends on how far shes willing to push the limits.
Some are bold enough to invite their date over after the film, or even to slip into the back rows and get a little more than popcorn. Others are more modest, preferring the classic routine: hold hands during the movie, share a kiss at the end, and then end the evening at her doorstep.
Either way, the very fact that youve accepted a cinema invitation from a lad suggests youre, at least in his eyes, his girlfriend. And it also means the slot was vacant before you came along. Which is why youd never want a repeat of what happened to Ethel in the foyer, when a rival slipped up to her boyfriend, clutching his arm, and demanded in a sour tone:
Max, whos that? Why are you holding her hand? Ive been losing sleep, worrying youve vanished, and you?
Any sensible girl would have been mortified, fled the scene, or at most shouted, Youre seeing two girls at once! before storming off in heels, clutching the flowers shed just been given.
Ethel belonged to the more daring crowd, but she never got the chance to react. Max, scowling, snarled at the intruder:
I told you to scram. If you think its over between us, stop chasing me. Come on, Ethel, lets go.
He seized her arm and hauled her toward the right auditorium. To her, the episode seemed settled. Max wasnt dating that other girlshed left him, or so it seemed.
At least thats how Max painted it. The truth, however, was a bit murkier.
Ethel decided to postpone the confrontation until after the film. She didnt want to air their private drama in front of strangers, nor disrupt anyone elses evening. Max had paid for the tickets, after all, so they ought to enjoy the movie instead of interrogating every strange lady in his orbit.
When the credits rolled and they stepped out onto the lamplit street toward the nearby parkjust a stones throw from Ethels flatthe conversation turned to the mysterious girl.
Hope you didnt read too much into it, Max said apologetically. I dont usually collect lunatics; my mates and family are solid. She was just a oneoff.
Ethel knew the subject hit a sore spot. Her previous boyfriend had split from her because his sister and mother never accepted her. So Max made a point of reassuring her that he wasnt the type to bring drama.
What actually happened? Ethel asked, genuinely curious.
We were dating, Max replied. At least I thought we were. You know, the sort of thing where we stroll handinhand, share a kiss, and in a crowd shell sit on my lap and call me sweetheart or kitty.
Makes sense, Ethel nodded.
Think about it, Max continued. Imagine a girl asks you over to fix her computer, but when you arrive she says her brother took it to the countryside yesterday and offers you a DVD instead. You go in, and shes got candles shaped like hearts, a bottle of wine, and the film is a proper 18plus romance. What would you do?
Someone still uses DVDs? Ethel laughed, then refocused. If a lass invites you under a flimsy pretense and then tries to keep you alone at her place, Id guess shes after a night of cupcakes and a movie.
Max added details: a sheer nightdress, lace stockings, ten heartshaped candles, a bottle of wine with nibbles, and a film thats all about love and happy endings. Ethel immediately sensed where this was heading.
So I sat on the couch, the mood was right, she slipped onto my lap, I pulled her close, and started kissing. I reached for her dress
and I got a slap across the face, followed by a scream that echoed through the flat, Max finished. She yelled, What are you doing? Im not like that!
Ethel shook her head. Id have bolted out of there straight away.
Exactly what I did, Max said. I packed my shoes, heard shed ended it, and left.
The next day she messaged him. He called me like nothing happened, said were fine, that Id just forgotten about him.
What about you? Max asked.
I ignored him. Why would I deal with a lunatic? Nothing really pushed me to stick around for anyone better. Im not into that sort of game.
Right. And now shes chasing after you, hoping for what?
From her tirade I gathered she expects me to chase after her, to shower her with gifts and wait for her royal decree. Im not into that. In todays world, chasing someone is illegal in a senseany yes must be a true yes, and any no stays a no without coercion.
Ethel and Max agreed: no games, no maybes. If she said yes, it meant yes; no meant no, plain and simple.
She dismissed her exboyfriend as a nutcase and tried to forget the whole affair, as if it were a nightmareprovided it was a oneoff.
Later, as Ethel was heading home from university, a familiar voice called out, Hey, Ethel, isnt that you? It was her old acquaintance, Agatha, who, despite sharing a name with her school mates, wasnt exactly a friend.
Hold on, we need to talk. Youve done wrong. The lad was busy, and you swooped in and stole him, Agatha accused.
The boy told me he was free, Agatha. Ive told you to leave me alone before, Ethel retorted.
Anyway, youll disappear, and hell think of me, Agatha snarled, brandishing a badge that identified her father as a police captain. It was a cheap ploy to scare off a persistent suitor.
Max could have proved that his involvement with Ethel meant nothing to his relationship with Agatha, or even threatened a fight. But that would have risked trouble for Ethel, and no coach would have praised such a move.
What Agatha pulled off turned out to be just the thing she needed. Whether or not Ethel saw her father once a year for a birthday card, or whether he was stationed in another city, it mattered little. The crucial point was that Agatha, upon seeing a photo of Max, muttered a curse, fled, and stopped harassing him from shadow accounts. Max relayed this to Ethel a week later, and she appreciated his honesty.
People like her only get what they deserve, Max mused. Id have stayed clear, but it happened. She seemed normal enough on the surface.
Ethel agreed; Agatha had seemed like a regular girl until she opened her mouth. It no longer mattered how unhinged she might be. What mattered was that she finally vanished from Ethel and Maxs lives, hopefully for good.
Perhaps shell find a proper blokemaybe a charming narcissist with a kitchenknife flair. After all, every creature needs a match, so ordinary folk can live in peace. Isnt that a lovely thought?
