**Diary Entry 12th March**
Bloody hell Where is she off to now? And whos going to make dinner?
“Where are you rushing off to? Someones got to cook!” my husband, David, snapped, exasperated, as he watched what Antonia did after arguing with his mother.
Antonia glanced out the window. Gloomy clouds hung heavy, despite it being early spring. In our little town up in Northumberland, sunny days were rare. Maybe thats why the folk here always seemed so grim and distant.
Lately, Antonia had noticed she hardly smiled anymorethe permanent crease on her forehead made her look a decade older.
“Mum! Im going out,” announced our daughter, Emily.
“Right,” Antonia muttered.
“What dyou mean, right? Give me some money.”
“Since when do walks cost anything?” Antonia sighed.
“Mum! Why the interrogation?!” Emily huffed. “Come on, hurry up! Is that all youre giving me?”
“Its enough for ice cream.”
“Cheapskate,” Emily tossed back, but Antonia didnt hearthe door had already slammed behind her.
*Unbelievable* Antonia shook her head, remembering how sweet Emily used to be before the teenage years hit.
“Antonia, Im starving! How much longer?” David grumbled from the living room.
“Help yourself,” she replied flatly, setting a plate on the table.
“Or bring it here?”
Antonia nearly dropped the pan. The cheek of him.
“We eat in the kitchen, David. Take it or leave it,” she said, sitting down alone.
Fifteen minutes later, David shuffled in.
“Its cold gross.”
“I left it out too long.”
“Bloody typical! Not an ounce of care in you! You know Im watching the match!” He shoveled down the chicken, scowling. “Tastes rubbish.”
Antonia just rolled her eyes. Football turned David into a different manbets, kits, overpriced tickets when we were young, he couldnt care less about sports.
Without sitting, he grabbed a beer, a bag of crisps, and stomped back to the telly. Antonia stayed behind, clearing the mess.
*Pointless No one appreciates it.*
She was exhausted after her shift as a senior nurse at the hospital. Patients came to her stressed, in painonly to come home to another shift. Fetch, carry, wash, tidy.
“Any more left?” David called, rummaging in the fridge. “Whys there none?”
“You drank them all! Am I supposed to buy those too? Have some decency!” Antonia finally snapped.
“Oh, arent we posh now?” he sneered before slamming the door and storming off to “restock” for the second half.
Antonia decided to sleepwork waited tomorrow. But she couldnt. Where was Emily? It was dark now. She didnt dare calllast time, Emily had screeched:
“You embarrass me in front of my friends! Stop calling!” So Antonia stopped, telling herself Emily was 18 now. No job, no unijust a “gap year to find herself.”
Finally drifting off, she was jolted awake by Davids cheerssome bloke mustve scored. Then the neighbour, Mark, dropped by, and soon they were all yelling at the telly. Later, Marks girlfriend joined, and the three of them carried on like a rowdy pub crowd.
Emily stumbled in past midnight, rattling plates before flouncing off to bed. Just as silence fell, the cat yowled for food.
“Can no one else in this house feed the damn cat?!” Antonia stormed out, migraine pounding. She wanted them to hearbut Emily had her headphones in, flicking her off lazily. David was snoring, beer can still in hand.
*Ive had enough.*
The next morning, her mother-in-law, Margaret, rang.
“Antonia, darling, you havent forgotten about planting the veg, have you? We need to sort the cottage.”
“I remember,” Antonia sighed.
“Tomorrow, then.”
Her only day off was spent labouring under Margarets orders.
“How are you sweeping? Hold the broom properly!” Margaret barked from her perch on the bench.
“Im nearly fifty, Margaret. I can manage,” Antonia dared to retort.
“Wheres David? Why isnt he helping? Why did we take the bloody coach for three hours while hes sat on his backside?”
“Hes tired.”
“And Im not?”
That set Margaret off. Antonia regretted speaking upMargaret loved a good lecture, but her fairness only ever stretched one way. Her whole life, shed coddled David, while Antonia was just the tolerated servant.
They rode home in silence, sitting apart. The next day, Margaret whinged to David, and he exploded.
“How dare you speak to my mother like that?!” he growled.
“Or what?” Antonia crossed her arms. Shed reached her limit.
“Youd still be at that measly clinic if not for her!” He played his trump cardMargaret had pulled strings to get Antonia the hospital job. Better pay, but it cost her nerves and grey hairs. Shed regretted it more than once.
“Where dyou think youre going?” David gaped as Antonia moved toward the door.
What she did next, he never saw coming.
**Lesson learnt:** A man can only push a woman so far before she walks outand doesnt look back.
