Emily slammed her coffee mug off the kitchen table; it flew across the wall, spilling the halfdrunk brew in a spray that glittered on the floor like confetti.
Are you serious? I cant believe what Im hearing! she shouted, her voice cracking. Your damned job, the endless urgent calls, the constant trips abroad!
Simon Clark kept his voice even, which only made her rage grow. Stop losing it, youre acting like a child, he said, his tone flat. He stood there like a statue while Emilys anger boiled over. I cant cancel this assignment, you have to understand. Its the promotion that matters.
The promotion?! Emily sputtered, her cheeks flushing with fury. Your promotion always comes before us! Remember you missed Lucys graduation, you didnt even call me on my anniversary after I reminded you a week in advance! And now youre off to Manchester in a flash!
London, Simon corrected himself reflexively, then bit his tongue.
Even to the Moon! Emily gestured wildly, her arms flailing. You wont be there when our son is under anaesthetic! When hes terrified, when Im shaking against the wall! All because of some pointless piece of paper you need to sign!
Simon exhaled sharply, wiping his face with the back of his hand. Dark circles framed his eyes, his stubble was uneven, but his stare remained stubborn as ever.
This contract is ridiculous Its a chance to become finance director, you know? Ive been working toward this for at least twenty years, my whole life. Mikes operation is routine, why are you shaking? Its just tonsils, not a brain tumor.
Sure, now what if something goes wrong? Complications? Emily dug her nails into her palms. What then?
Nothing, Simon waved it off. I spoke to the surgeon personally.
And if something does happen? she pressed, eyes narrowing.
Then Ill be on the first flight back, he snapped, shrugging. Remember when Lucy had an appendix operation? You showed up eight hours later, after the doctors had gone home, just as the hero was being wheeled out?
Emily sneered. You think Im a rubber band that can stretch and snap back? Im working my ass off so you have everything you need. Didnt you hear my endless complaints about the new flat? Lets move, the neighbours are noisy, the courtyard filthy, the tube too far
Maybe we should have stayed in that council estate! she snapped. But at least wed have a decent husband and father who actually sees his children sometimes, not just on Sunday afternoons!
Simon collapsed onto a chair, his weight crushing the seat.
Listen, we agreed. You stay home with the kids, keep the house warm. I grind at work, bring the money in. What changed? When did this become a problem?
Emily opened her mouth to launch another tirade, but the front door burst open. Childrens voices spilled into the hallway, backpacks thudding onto the floor.
Fine, well talk later, she muttered, forcing a smile that strained her cheeks as she trudged out of the kitchen.
Simon flicked open his laptop. He had a presentation to finish before nightfall, but his mind was a fog of useless thoughts.
Later, after the children were asleep, Emily sat at the kitchen table scrolling through her phone, eyes glazed. Twentytwo years of marriage felt more like a ledger: income, expenses, assets, liabilities. When had things become so complicated?
Simon entered silently and sat opposite her.
Want some coffee? Emily asked without looking up.
Ill have one, he replied. Emily, we need to talk.
What about? she snapped, pressing the electric kettle button. Everythings already clear. Youre leaving in two days. Mike and I will go to the hospital alone.
Simon reached for her shoulders gently. I know its hard, but this is important for me.
More important than us? Emily turned, seeing not anger but exhaustion in his eyes.
Its all for you, he whispered. Everything I do is for you.
No, its all for you, Emily said sharply. For your ego, for your career. Were the afterthought.
Its not true, Simon tried to argue.
It is. Remember what Mike said about his operation? Good thing its during Dads trip, otherwise hed stress about missing work. Hes eleven and already moulding his life around your schedule.
Silence settled. Emilys voice softened a fraction.
Katya asked yesterday if youd come to her university graduation next year. Not because she wants to see you, but because she fears youll be busy with something important again.
Ill try to be there, Simon muttered.
Trythats your usual answer, Emily replied. You chose work over me when I had a miscarriage ten years ago. You flew back two days later, after a deal in China was sealed.
Exactly, Simon nodded. I had a meeting in China.
And I lost a child, alone, Emily shot back, turning away to grind coffee beans.
You never mentioned it, Simon said quietly.
What would that change? Emily shrugged. Youd apologise, promise it wont happen again, and then do the same thing.
Simon pressed his fingers to his nose. Maybe you should see a therapist.
Of course, Emily smirked. The problem is me, right? Not that youve become a corporate drone, but that Im not positive about it?
I didnt mean that, Simon shook his head. Youre dramatising everything.
Dramatising? Emily snapped, standing. When was the last time you attended a parentteacher meeting? Do you even know who Mikes form teacher is? Or what project Katyas doing?
Simon stayed mute.
Emily placed a cup of coffee before him and sat down. Youve missed our lives, Simon, and you keep missing them.
He took a sip, grimacing at the bitterness. I could take a summer holiday, we could all go somewhere together.
Katya is heading to Brighton with friends, and Mikes signed up for a football camp, Emily reminded him.
Tell me before you plan anything next time! Simons voice finally cracked with irritation. I warned you twice, you said okay, lets see later.
He rubbed his eyes. Sorry, I dont remember.
Emily fixed her gaze on him. The scariest part is Im starting to feel Im better off without you. When youre home, I keep hoping youll be there in spirit, not just in the bank account, and Im always disappointed.
What do you want from me? Simon asked. To quit the promotion? To quit my job?
I want a father, not a financial provider. I want a husband, not a roommate who only stays over for a night.
I cant quit my career at fifty, Simon said firmly. Its too late to start over.
No ones asking you to quit. Just find balance.
Im trying! he raised his voice, then lowered it, remembering the sleeping kids. I really am, Emily. But you have to understand my position
Your position, your salary, your responsibilitiesI know that song by heart, Emily cut in. But the children grow, and you dont see them. I dont either.
Youre being unfair, Simon protested. I always tried to spend weekends together.
When was the last time you werent rushed by work? Emily asked. Maybe once a month, at best.
A heavy silence fell. Outside, traffic roared, while inside only the ticking clock and the hum of the fridge filled the air.
I cant cancel this trip, Simon finally said. But Ill ask to push it back a day so I can take Mike to the hospital.
You already bought the tickets, Emily reminded him.
Ill change them, he said resolutely. Ill call every hour until they confirm the operation went well.
Emily gave a thin smile. You think thatll fix everything?
No, Simon admitted. But its a start. I dont want to lose you, Emily. I truly dont.
Its already almost lost, she whispered. I dont know if it can be fixed.
The hospital corridor buzzed with voices and footsteps. Emily sat in a stiff chair outside the operating theatre, fidgeting with her bag strap. Mike had been inside for over an hour, though the surgeon promised the procedure would be no longer than forty minutes.
Next to her, Charlotte stared at her phone, glancing anxiously at the doors.
Wheres dad? she asked suddenly.
You know hes on a business trip, Emily replied.
But he promised to call.
Emily glanced at her watch. Hes probably in a meeting, forgot.
Typical, Charlotte muttered.
Just then the surgeon emerged, green mask pushed up to his chin.
It went well, he said, smiling. Mikes in recovery, should be moved to a ward soon. You can visit in an hour.
Relief washed over Emily, tears welling up. Charlotte squeezed her mothers hand.
We should call dad, she said.
Emily dialed, only to hear a voicemail. Hes not answering. Ill text him.
She typed quickly: Operation successful. Mikes in recovery, doctor says hes fine. No reply came in the next five minutes, nor in the halfhour while they sipped tea and nibbled biscuits.
Are you and dad getting a divorce? Charlotte asked suddenly, eyes on her cup.
Why would you think that? Emily asked, startled.
Because you argue all the time, as if we cant hear you. And dads never home. You always look sad when he leaves.
Emily stared at her daughter, wondering when shed become so perceptive.
Were going through a rough patch, Emily said gently. But it doesnt mean we dont love each other.
Vicky from the next class said the same, then her parents split, Charlotte replied.
Emily didnt know what to say. How do you feel about it? she asked.
I dont know. Its weird. Id be sad if dad left, but hes hardly ever here, so maybe nothing changes, Charlotte shrugged.
No ones going anywhere, Emily said, though the certainty wavered inside.
The phone buzzedSimons message: Sorry, was in a meeting. Hows Mike? When can we visit?
Dad wrote? Charlotte asked. Emily nodded.
Hes asking about Mike, Emily replied, sending back: Can visit in thirty minutes. Video call?
Sure, came the quick reply. As soon as Im free.
Emily set the phone down, exhaling. Hes busy, right?
Will call back when he can, Charlotte said. You know dad.
I know, Emily said, a faint smile forming. Remember the trip to Brighton when you were nine and Mike was three?
Of course, Charlotte laughed. You ate icecream every day and swam till you were blue.
And dad was with us all weekdolphin show, boat rides, even a hike. Why cant that happen now?
I dont know, love, Emily admitted. Things have changed, probably for the worse.
Yeah, Charlotte sighed. Dads always busy now.
Emily wanted to argue that Simon loved them, that he was trying, but the truth in her daughters words cut deep.
When Emily finally returned home, the flat was quiet. She slipped off her shoes, set her bag on the nightstand, and trudged to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water, and stared out the window.
The phone rang. She flinched, seeing Simons name on the screen.
Hello? she whispered.
Hey, Simons tired voice came through. Hows Mike?
Hes okay, temperatures a bit up but the doctor says its normal. Charlottes staying with him.
Thats good. Hes lucky to have a caring sister, Simon said.
Yeah, Emily replied. At least someones looking after him.
An awkward pause stretched.
Emily, you know Id be there if I could, but this deal he began.
I understand, Emily cut in. You dont need to explain.
No, I do, Simon said firmly. You think I chose work over you, but thats not it.
Then explain, she urged. Tell me.
I I dont know how to put it. Ive always been a workaholic, and its become part of who I am. I dont know how to stop, he admitted. What about the family?
Youre everything to me, he whispered. I lost my balance somewhere along the road. I spent too much time at the office and not enough with you. I get that, Emily. I want to fix it.
What do you propose? she asked.
Ive spoken to senior management. If I get the promotion, Ill be able to delegate more, free up time. More family time.
If. Always if. What if it doesnt happen?
Then Ill consider changing jobs or cutting my hours. Youre right, Ive missed too much. I dont want to miss any more, Simon said, his voice steadier.
Emily stayed silent. Shed heard similar promises too often to trust them outright.
I love you, Simon said. And the kids. I want us to be a family, not just people sharing a roof.
I want that too, Emily replied, but Im not sure its possible.
Lets at least try, he suggested. I promise Ill really try, genuinely.
Emily glanced at a photo on the tablefour of them on a sunny seaside, laughing, carefree. It was taken five years ago, a different life.
Okay, she said finally. Lets try.
Thank you, Simon breathed out, relief evident. Ill call Mike before I go to sleep, and Ill be there as soon as the contract is signed.
Alright, Emily nodded, though Simon couldnt see her. Ill tell Mike.
She hung up and sat at the kitchen table a long while, staring at that picture. Would they make it? Could Simon truly change, or would the old pattern returnhim at work, her with the children, endless waiting for a better day?
Mike later drew a plane on a scrap of paperlarge, silver, with blue wings and black windows.
Look, thats dads plane, he said, holding it up to Emily.
Beautiful, she smiled. Hows your throat?
A little sore, Mike admitted. The doctor said I can have icecream.
For treatment? Emily teased. Then lets get you some, but dont tell dad Im spoiling you.
I wont, Mike promised. Will dad really come?
Of course he will, Emily said. He promised.
Mike thought for a moment. Im actually glad I had the operation. Now dad will be here.
Emily brushed his hair back, feeling a lump rise in her throat.
Yes, love, dad will be with us.
She didnt know if Simon would keep his word. She didnt know if their family could return to what it once was. But for the first time in a long while, she felt a flicker of hope.
Maybe people can change. Maybe work and family can coexist without crushing each other.
Maybe this time hell choose them over the job.
