“You’re out of a mother!” my motherinlaw snapped, her voice as sharp as a winter wind.
“Forget you ever had one. After you marry, youll stop bothering me and act as if I never existed. And I wont give you a single penny for the wedding. If I didnt pick your bride, I wont foot the bill for this whole charade.”
My wife, Tessa, glowed with a happiness Id never seen before when our little boy, Sam, wrapped his arms around her and said,
“Mum, youre the best in the world. Ill do everything to keep that smile on your face.”
Sam had no idea how his innocent words turned my wifes heart inside out. She swore shed never had a child as perfect as theirsa cherubic little thing with golden curls, blue eyes and a face that seemed carved from aristocratic mould. When he grew a bit older, Tessa began to eye every possible candidate for a future daughterinlaw with the same exacting standards shed set for her sons future wife: a respectable lineage, tidy looks, a slender figure, a university degree, flawless manners and, ideally, a decent job in a reputable firm.
“The flat my boy already has needs a proper lady to keep it spotless,” Tessa would say. “She must be ready to welcome guests at any hour, even three in the morning, because thats a wifes duty.”
As the years passed, Tessas demands grew harsher.
“Never pick a girl past twentyfive; shell only bear a frail child. And we must be sure any child is Sams.”
“Take a goddamn look at yourself, Tessa,” his cousins would warn her. “You wont find a girl who meets those standards these days. If you want Sam to marry on time, let go of your meddling, or hell stay a bachelor forever.”
Sam excelled at school and university, landed a wellpaid position, yet his love life was a disaster. The moment he introduced a potential girlfriend to his mother, she found a thousand reasons to turn her away. At every meeting shed command, “Sam, go to the kitchen and slice some fruit while we chat.”
The first girl Sam tried to bring home was Emily. She came from a modest backgroundher mother a clerk, her father a boilerroom operator, with two younger brothers. Emily worked as a pharmacy assistant, which set Tessas mind racing.
“So shes constantly around medicinescould she poison my son? Or me?” she muttered. “And her family are labourers; we dont need that.”
“Emily, you know you cant marry Sam,” Tessa said bluntly when they were alone. “Youre too different. He grew up in a world youll never understand. Forget him and find someone more downtoearth.”
Emily didnt need any more explanation. She stood, left without a word, and never looked back. When Sam pressed for a reason, she replied coldly, “Ask your mother who raised you in such privileged circumstances. She says youre too good for me; Id better look for someone simpler.”
“Mother, why did you treat Emily that way? I really liked her,” Sam asked.
“My son, youve forgotten something,” Tessa said slowly. “Im your mother, and I know better who can make you happy. Not that Emily, thats for sure. Where did you even find a girl like her? As if there werent decent families out there.”
Realising his mother would never be swayed, Sam walked away. He occasionally mentioned a new girlfriend, but never brought her home. Tessa would offer help with finding a wife, but Sam politely declined.
“This is my life with my future wife, not yours to arrange,” hed say. “Ill pick my own.”
“Youll bring home a housemaid with nothing on her mind but mops and buckets,” Tessa muttered.
“Shell at least make the floors shine,” Sam retorted with a grin.
“Dont you speak to your mother like that!” she snapped.
Eventually Sam moved out of the house hed shared with his mother and into the flat she owned, which they had previously let to tenants. His relationship with his fatherwhod split from his mother years beforehad been nonexistent since Sam was six. Recently, his dad agreed to meet.
“I left your mother because she never gave me any breathing room,” his father confessed. “She controlled everythingwhere I went, why I went, what people said about her. Shed scold me for not having a degree and said Id never learn anything useful. I was just a workhorse for her. I quit, thought Id never waste my life on a madwoman who didnt care about me. She gave up her claim on child support and I lost my parental rights.”
“Youre glad about that, arent you?” Sam asked, frowning.
“Why would I be?” his father snapped. “I bought you a flat and handed over the keys. Did she tell you?”
“What?” Sam was stunned.
His father repeated, “I saved ten years wages to give you a place of your own. God forbid you stay with her; youd have no life of your own. She doesnt think of anyone but herself.”
“Why didnt you ever talk to me?” Sam asked hesitantly.
“I didnt want to cause you trouble. Your mother threatened to ship you off to another city, and Id never see you again. So I kept my distance.”
Those words made Sam rethink his mother. He often said he wanted a partner who reminded him, even a little, of his mum. Tessa would smile condescendingly, knowing hed never find anyone like hershe was a oneinamillion, if not a oneinabillion, sort of woman.
After Emily, Sam met other girls, but none satisfied Tessa. Finally he gave his mother an ultimatum.
“Either you stop meddling in my life, or Ill stop talking to you.”
“Ungrateful brat,” Tessa fumed. “Do you forget who bought you a home and paid for your education? How dare you?”
“Mother, enough,” Sam pleaded. “I know who actually paid for that flat. I spoke to my father; he told me everything.”
“And you believe him?” Tessa erupted. “Not my own son, but some loser?”
“If that loser is my father, then yes.”
Tessas face turned pale. She stared at him with contempt and shut herself away. The next morning she didnt come down for breakfast. Sam knocked, only to hear a furious shout:
“Leave me alone and go back to your worthless dad!”
“Mother, why are you like this?” Sam opened the door and stepped in. She lay on the bed, hair rumpled, dress creased, staring vacantly at the ceilinga stark contrast to her usual immaculate appearance, perfume, and perfectly styled outfits.
“You know what Ive decided,” she said slowly. “Marry whomever you like; Ill be indifferent. Whether its a bloke from Papua New Guinea with a penguins mix or an Indian rhinoceros, just forget that you have a mother. After the wedding you wont bother me, and I wont give you a single pound for the ceremony. I didnt pick your wife, so I wont fund this farce.”
“I understand, Mum,” Sam replied with a halfjoking bow, then quietly closed the door behind him. That very day he moved into his own flat.
Six months later he invited his mother to a restaurant to tell her about his upcoming marriage.
“Who is she?” Tessa asked, disinterested.
“She wont suit your taste, but I want you to know her name: Lisa. Shes twentysix, from a long line of doctors, a very respectable young lady.”
“Good heavens, where does this confidence come from?” Tessa rolled her eyes. “Show me a picture.”
Sam pulled out his phone and showed her a photo. Tessa pursed her lips and shook her head in disapproval.
“And this is the future mother of my grandchildren? What a nightmare!”
The woman in the picture had an unmistakably Eastern look.
“Shes not Lisa; shes some Gulchatai,” Tessa scoffed.
“Lisa is half Korean,” Sam explained patiently.
“Even better,” Tessa snorted. “A mix of bulldog and rhinoceros.”
“Shell grow on you once you get to know her after the wedding,” Sam smiled.
Tessas breath caught at his words.
“After the wedding? Are you getting married just to spite me?”
“Why would I? Its for my own happiness,” Sam grinned, flagging down a waitress to place an order.
Tessa sat in shock, trying to picture the grandchildren shed have with such a motherinlaw. The mental image was nothing short of terrifying.
At the wedding Sam pulled his mother aside, his tone firm.
“Lets keep this civil. If Lisa ever leaves me because of you, Ill never forgive you, understand?”
Tessa was forced to sit meekly, lower than the grass. She watched, speechless, as her radiant son and his glowing bride exchanged vows, laughed with guests, and danced with genuine joy. The next morning the newlyweds brought a gift for Tessa, but she shut the door on them.
“So, son,” she said, “Ive done everything you wanted. Now listen to me. Dont bring that mixedbreed woman into my house again. Do you realise what youre doing? You could have a thousand wives, but a mother is only one.”
The couple left, and Tessa, in a fit of rage, tossed the gift into the trash.
“I wont take anything from this halfblood,” she snarled.
Soon after, Tessa fell ill frequently, and Lisa took charge of her care. They hired a nighttime and daytime carer so the elderly lady wasnt left alone. Tessa could never accept Lisa, resenting her for daring to be compared to her own mother.
“You said youd find someone like me,” Tessa growled. “Where does she resemble me?”
Now dependent on Lisas help, Tessa was forced to keep her tongue in check, a fact that gnawed at her.
When the phone rang, Tessa answered in a sweet tone,
“Hello, love. How are you? My blood pressures spiking a bit. Could you swing by and have a look? Right, see you soon”
And so the story kept turning, a tangled knot of family pride, stubbornness, and the inevitable grudging reliance that only a motherinlaw and daughterinlaw can share.
