I’ve Always Dreamed of Being in My Brother’s Shoes, But Everything Soon Took a Turn

I have always imagined myself walking in my brothers shoes, but everything shifted quickly.
My mother became pregnant with me when she was eighteen. As soon as my father learned the news, he abandoned ushe wanted endless parties and friends, not a family. My mothers parents, my grandparents, were outraged. In a small town near Lille, an unwed mother was a source of shame, and my grandfather drove her out, shouting, I will not tolerate such an irresponsible girl! I cant even picture what she enduredso young, alone, a baby cradled in her arms. Yet she persisted: she enrolled in a correspondence university, secured a job, and gave everything she had. She was assigned a room in a youth dormitory, and the two of us began our life together. I had to grow up faster than other kidsI shopped, cleaned, warmed meals. Playtime? There was none. From an early age I was her backbone, her only man.
I never complained; I took pride in that role. Then Victor entered our world. I liked him: he brought chocolates, pleased Mom, looked after her. She glowed beside him and one day announced, Victor and I are getting married and well move into a big house. I was thrilledI dreamed of having a real father and hoped Victor would fill that part. At first everything seemed wonderful. I finally had my own space to rest, listen to music, read books. Victor helped Mom, and his eyes sparkled with happiness.
Soon she said she was expecting another child. Shortly after, Victor told me, Youll have to move into the little attic room. Thatll be the babys bedroom. I didnt understandwhy me when the house was huge? The next day my belongings were piled into a tiny corner that could only fit a single bed. It felt unfair, but I kept quiet, accustomed to bearing hardship.
When my little brother Michel was born, the nightmare truly began. His crying robbed me of sleep; I drifted through days like a zombie. My school grades fell, teachers scolded me, and Mom shouted, You must be a role model for your brother! Stop bringing us shame, lazy boy! As Michel grew, new duties piled onto metaking him to the park, pushing his stroller. Peers mocked me, I flushed with embarrassment, yet I stayed silent. All the best thingstoys, clotheswent to Michel. When I asked for anything for myself, Victor snapped, No money. I dropped Michel off at daycare, fetched him, cooked, cleanedliving only for the day he would be old enough to free me.
When Michel started school, Mom ordered me to help with his homework. He was pampered and capricious, did poorly, and whenever I tried to correct him he complained to Mom. She always defended him, rebuking me: Youre the elder, you must be more patient! He bounced from one school to another, failing everywhere. Eventually he was placed in a private school, where poor grades were ignored in exchange for money. I enrolled in a mechanic programnot out of passion, but to escape the house.
Then came distance learning and workday and night shifts, saving for my own apartment. I married, found peace. And Michel? Victor gave him an apartment, yet he still lives with our parents, rents out the place and squanders the money. He refuses to work, spending hours in front of the TV. One New Years Eve we gathered at my parents home. His latest girlfriend, Léa, was present. I overheard their conversation in the kitchen.
Youre lucky with your brother, she said to my wife, Marie. Stanislas is a real hardworker, responsible. Why isnt Michel like that? I ask him to move in, start a family, but he clings to his mother. The rent money does us no good.
Yes, Stan is wonderful, Marie replied, smiling. Forget Michel; he doesnt deserve you. Hell never be a good husband.
I stood frozen. Michel changed girlfriends as often as shirts, none stayingMom drove them all away, deeming them unfit for her golden boy. He never resisted, lounging in his laziness like a cocoon. In that moment I realized I no longer envied him. All the dreams of being in his place were empty. Fate handed me trials, but also rewards. I now have a family, a loving wife, a daughter, a home I built with my own hands. I am proud of myself, and for the first time I rejoice that I am not Michel. My life is my hardwon, authentic victory.