Every day with my motherinlaw: how she turned my life into a nightmare
No day without my motherinlaw: how this woman made my existence miserable
When Theo and I got married, our first decisionwhat I thought at the time was the smartestwas to set up home far from our parents. He worked as an engineer for a rather upscale private firm, and I had poured the proceeds from my grandmothers flat sale into a mortgage. We were beginning to build our nest, dreaming of peace, tenderness, and a little family of our own. Who could have imagined that his mother would move in with us
She didnt actually live under our roof, yet her presence was felt everywhere: in every socket, every cupboard, every spoon. No choicewhether to buy a kettle, curtains, or even a simple bath matescaped her input.
If I dared suggest changing the curtains, she would appear instantly, armed with binders, catalogs and endless advice. For holidays she drafted scripts as if we were entering an amateur theatre contest. Once we planned to ring in New Years at a mountain chalet with friends. Everything was booked, the shopping done, transport arranged. She turned the whole affair into such a melodrama that even Stanislavski would have taken his hat off. Tears, accusations, lamentations: A night like this and you abandon your mother! The outcome: we stayed home, lost the money, while she critiqued TV performers from her armchair like an empress.
When I finally became pregnant, Theo and I wanted to turn the guest room into a nursery. We barely mentioned it The next morning she was on our doorstep, two workers beside her, rolls of wallpaper under her arm. I didnt even get a chance to speakrenovations had already started. According to her plans. Her colours. Her vision. And I stood there, in my own house, feeling like an intruder.
I told my husband a hundred times that it was overwhelming, that I no longer felt at home, that I wanted to choose my own thingsfrom wallpaper to dishsponges. He always answered the same: Mom just wants to help. She has good taste. Its all out of love. And what about me? My wishes? My taste? Does none of that matter because I havent given birth to a wonderful son?
Then came the climax. She arrived one day, triumphantly announcing, Theo and I are going on vacation. Greece. I need to recharge; I carry everything on my shoulders. I was seven months pregnant, speechless. My husband stammered that he couldnt let her leave alone. I made it clear: if he went with her, he could forget he had a wife.
The result? She burst into our home screaming that I was jealous, that she had given birth to my husband and raised him, and that I was an ungrateful parasite. She said I couldnt leave because of my big belly, and now I was preventing her from catching a breath after this thankless life. In short, she claimed to be doing everything for us, and we
I no longer know whats right or wrong. Im exhausted living as three people in a marriage meant for two. I dont want conflict, but I cant accept this either. I feel myself disappearingas a woman, a wife, a future mother. I fear that once the baby arrives shell not only pick out diapers but also decide the name, the school, the friends
Ladies, do you have any tips for surviving a goldenheart motherinlaw? Or is it hopeless, and should I simply resign myself, knowing shell be there till the endlike a shadow, a voiceover, always louder than mine?
Tell me everything. Ive run out of ways to fight this circus.
