Age of Unlimited Possibilities
My grandmother, Martha, became a granny at fortyfour, and the moment she did she slipped neatly into the role society expects. She never shuffled about in a flowery headscarf with a cane; even into her later years she kept a tidy, respectable appearance. I remember one afternoon we stitched a brightred dress for a doll together. I was thrilled and asked her if shed ever want such a dress. She laughed and said, Oh, dear, Im a granny now That Im a granny line stuck with her, and with the arrival of her first grandchild she fell straight into the box drawn by the community and her own ideas, living there for the rest of her days, just like every other woman she knew.
I often hear the current overforty crowd complain about how much life has thrown at them and how hard it is to live in a time of constant change. Yet it is that very generation which shattered the old moulds, the traditions and the firm ideas about age. Imagine, for a moment, calling a woman just past her forties a granny. Shes still very much a woman, a lovely young lady. She may not be in the bloom of her teens, but shes still a lady, because her mindset is geared toward youth, not the other way round.
I once tried a new remedy and my ear popped four days later the GP told me to keep a diary of it!
These days you can only guess a womans age, and sometimes you cant tell at all unless you look at the surrounding clues. Im a regular at a tiny café on a side street in London. The barista, Emily, already knows my order and we swap a few banterfilled lines each visit. Shes petite, graceful, a pictureperfect former university student. The other day I walked in and saw a hulking, broadshouldered bloke, nearly two metres tall, standing next to her. I thought, Is he her boyfriend? She looks like a Thumbelina to him. He leaned over the counter, gave her a quick kiss, and then, in a deep voice, asked, Mum, could you spare a couple of hundred quid? If someone had told me he was her son, Id have been less shocked.
Whats brilliant about modern women is that they get to pick how they present themselves, the style and the age they feel most comfortable wearing. Some want braids and bikiniarea tattoos, some crave Louboutins and plunging necklines, others prefer trainers and ripped jeans, lemonyellow blouses, narrow skirts and hats a different look for each season. And yes, red dresses, even mini ones with a daring zipper running down the back, are on the table without anyone rolling their eyes. If anyone does raise an eyebrow, she simply doesnt give a toss.
Theres another point worth noting. Remember that old saying, If youth only knew, if old age could? Its dead now. The middleaged generation has bleached it out like a stain on a crisp tablecloth. We all know a lot, yet we can still act on it. This remarkable cohort drifts between the old folk, who push them away with fear, and the youngsters, who watch them warily. The ship sails on its own, thrilled by its own adventures.
Now for the most important realisation Ive reached lately and want to share: age does not limit possibilities; it expands them. We dont have to search for ourselves any more weve already found who we are, and now we can refine our craft or try new techniques that bring joy and fulfilment. We no longer feel obliged to mingle with everyone, letting random people into our lives; instead we focus on keeping close those who beat in time with our own hearts. We can afford the luxury of pleasant company rather than the oldfashioned necessity of mere social contact. In love and intimacy we pursue quality, having learned that quantity cant replace it, and we can still give youth a hundred points extra.
We no longer rush children to grow up because weve seen how quickly it actually happens. We savour their childhood, pouring into it the things we missed out on. Weve learned that no amount of money pounds or pounds sterling can buy happiness, health, or loyalty. We also know that the road we travel toward a goal often matters more than the goal itself. If you cant relish the journey, the destination wont delight you either. Weve proved everything through our own mistakes, felt how fast time flies, and now the canvas of life is sketched out. This is the moment to add the fine details and graceful strokes that turn a painter into a master and a picture into a masterpiece.
When you understand all this, you suddenly realise that right now your possibilities are limitless. You can learn to dance, sing, play the harp, study languages, dive with a scuba set, take up horse riding, ski or rollerblade. You can blow glass ornaments, drive a car, paint Christmas baubles, paddle a kayak, assemble mosaics, keep bees, colour a childrens playground, throw a pot on a wheel, stitch beadwork or do embroidery, bake delicious cakes, ferment cabbage into coleslaw, or make homemade noodles. You can set off on a trip and see with your own eyes what youve only heard about. You can adopt a dog or take a third cat, shoot your own short film or act on stage, move out to the countryside or finally start the hobby youve postponed for years because of lack of time. You can lose yourself in a new romance, have another child, or simply stroll alone along a park path, vanishing into the hush, sipping a mug of hot chocolate or a cup of tea with lemon balm as the autumn mist rolls in, savoring each sip of the drink, the season, the life itself.
We now understand that time isnt infinite, so we must cherish our age of unlimited possibilities all the more.
