The Age of Unlimited Possibilities
My grandmother became a granny at the age of fortyfour, and the moment she earned the title she seemed to live up to it. No, she didnt shuffle around in a daisyprint shawl with a walking stick; even in her later years she was always neat, dignified, and oddly spry. I recall once we stitched a bright scarlet dress for a doll together. I was thrilled and asked her if shed ever want such a frock. She chuckled, Oh, my dear, Im a granny! That lineIm a grannybecame her mantra. As soon as the first grandchild arrived, she slipped straight into the box the world had drawn around her, and she stayed there, just like every other woman in her circle.
I often hear the overforty crowd complain about how much life has thrown at them and how hard it is to navigate a world that never stops changing. Yet its that very generation that has shattered the old cages, the rigid ideas about what age should look like. Imagine for a second calling a woman just over forty a grandma. Shes still a young lady, not an old crone. She may not be freshfaced, but shes still a girl at heart, with a mind tuned to youth rather than the other way round.
In todays world you can only guess a womans age, and sometimes you need a whole lot of context to nail it down. Im a regular at a tiny café in Brighton. The barista, a petite, graceful soul named Milly, already knows my coffee order and we trade a few banterfilled remarks each morning. She looks like a freshoutofuniversity graduate. One day I stroll in, and theres a hulking blokebroadshouldered, nearly two metres tallstanding beside her. I picture Milly as a miniature fairy and wonder, Surely he isnt her boyfriend? He leans over the counter, plants a kiss on her cheek, and then, in a deep voice, asks, Mum, could you spare a couple of hundred pounds? If someone had told me he was her son, Id have been less startled.
The best thing about modern women is that they get to decide how they present themselves and what ageappropriate means to them. One day they might favour braids and bikiniline tattoos, the next theyll slip on Louboutins and a plunging neckline, later theyll opt for trainers and ripped jeans, or a lemonyellow blouse, a tight skirt and a floppy hatfor every season. And yesred dresses, even miniones with daring zipups down the backare still on the menu, and nobody will raise an eyebrow or tut. If they do, they could just as well not care a whit.
Remember the old saying, If youth only knew, if old age only could? Its dead and buried. The middleaged have washed it away like a stain on a crisp tablecloth. We now know a lot, yet were still capable of doing a lot more. This odd generation drifts between the hesitant oldies who push us aside and the wary youngsters who watch from the sidelines. Its a ship that sails itself, thrilled by its own mischief.
And heres the most recent revelation Ive had, which Ill gladly share: age does not limit possibilities; it expands them. We dont need to search for ourselves any moreweve already found each other, and now were polishing our crafts or trying fresh techniques that bring genuine joy. We no longer feel obliged to chat with every passerby; our mission is to keep close the kindred spirits who beat in sync with our hearts. We can afford the luxury of pleasant company rather than the necessity of mere socialising. In love and intimacy we chase quality, having learned that quantity can never replace it, and we can still give youth a hundred points extra on the scoreboard.
We dont rush children to grow up, because weve seen how fast that can happen. Instead, we soak up their childhood, generously giving them the experiences we missed. Weve learned that no amount of moneyno matter how many pounds sits in a bankcan purchase happiness, health, or loyalty. We also know that the road to a goal often matters more than the goal itself. If you cant enjoy the journey, the destination wont thrill you either. Weve proved it all, learned from our own blunders, felt the swift passage of time. The picture of life is already sketched; now is the perfect moment to add the tiny details and elegant strokes that turn a painter into a master and a canvas into a masterpiece.
When this all sinks in, you realise that right now your possibilities are boundless. You can learn to tango, belt out a song, pluck a harp, pick up a new language, scuba dive, horseback ride, ski, or rollerblade. You could blow glass ornaments, drive a car, paint Christmas baubles, paddle a kayak, assemble a mosaic, keep bees, repaint a playground, throw pottery, stitch beads or do crossstitch, bake scrumptious cupcakes, ferment cabbage for coleslaw or make homemade noodles. You can travel and see with your own eyes what youve only ever heard about. You could adopt a dog, take in a third cat, shoot your own short film or act on stage, move to the countryside, or finally chase the hobby youve postponed for years. You might dive headfirst into a new romance, welcome another child, or simply stroll alone along a park path, disappearing into the hush, sipping a hot mug of cocoa or chamomile tea beneath a veil of mist, savoring every sip of the drink, of autumn, of life.
The point is, we now understand that time isnt infinite, which makes us cherish this age of unlimited possibilities all the more.
