Emily knew everything. She wasnt twenty, not even thirty, and age had given her a clear view.
She was tired of carrying the weight alone.
Lucy, why is it always me? Whats wrong with me? Am I boring? Do I smell? Am I too clingy? Or perhaps Im not giving enough love and affection? she whispered to the empty kitchen. Whats wrong with me?
Everywhere she looked people were paired uptall, short, stout, thin, drinking, beautiful, plainall with someone of their own. And she was still alone. Whats wrong with me? Why am I alone?
Lucy leaned in, eyes bright. Listen, Emdont laugh, but my gran used to talk about somethinga maidens crown, a vow of singleness
Dont be ridiculous, Emily brushed it off. What are we, living in the Middle Ages?
Dont you believe it? Lucy jumped from her chair. My thirdcousins aunt had that very crown taken off by the same old woman.
What old woman? Emily asked, curiosity masking a hint of sarcasm.
Anyway, Ill ring Noramy sister, the one who had the crown lifted. Shell fill us in.
Ten minutes later Lucy was scribbling on a napkin, tongue tucked at the corner. RightNora, love. Hows it going? Getting married again? Whos George? Oh, she kicked him out, right? No worries, Ill be there. She hung up, a brief pause.
Whats happened? Emily asked.
Nothingactuallyshes getting married again. Fifth time, I think. That old woman mustve taken the crown off for good. Heres the address. You coming?
Emily shrugged. She drove, but the old woman, turning the wheel of fate, sent her back emptyhanded.
No crown for you.
What? I
Youve been picking the wrong men. First one abandoned his child and was already married. Second? Not yours either. The old woman chuckled. Third as well.
Third? I have no one, Emily muttered.
Itll come when youre not looking. Hell be yours, though not completely yours. Youll have to trust himhes reliable, hell give you that oldfashioned happiness. Just wait, dont rush.
Go now. And tell your friend she should see a doctor, take some herbs, stop meddling. Thats what the old woman said.
That conversation echoed from years ago. Desperate for a sliver of feminine bliss, Emily had visited a wise woman in the countryside, paying her in pounds and a basket of herbs. Everything the old woman foretold came true.
The third man arrived, but Emily could not recall any of the old womans words. He was kind, treated her daughter well, yet something always seemed to slip awayhed disappear in a heartbeat, never to return, without explanation.
Then she met Yuri. At first she didnt recognise him; he was just a neighbour in the flat next door that had sat empty for years. When Emily moved in with her daughter, the buildings caretaker, Aunt Kate, mentioned the owner was a nightshift worker who rarely stayed. One day Emily, driven by curiosity, peered through the slightly ajar door and saw a man hanging wallpaper. She slipped out, assuming the owner had returned. He did, and returned often.
Their first clash happened in the hallway a week later. The doors were oddly designedopen one and the other wouldnt budge unless the first was closed. Emily, late for work, tried to open her flats door and failed. The neighbour apologized, shut his own door, and Emily heard hurried footsteps. Later she blocked his exit, and they finally met on the landing, where he let her in first.
Yuri helped a friend lift a bicycle, Emily baked scones and delivered them to him. He had a son about the same age as Emilys daughter; the children bonded instantly, racing on the playground swings while Emily and Yuri chatted.
Six months on, Yuri asked her out, introduced her to his family, and they moved in together. Before settling, he laid his past bare.
Emily, Im not some twentyyearold lad, nor a brute. Im a man with my own opinions and temper. I promise if you live with me, I wont cheat. Ill do the hard work, earn a living, I dont drink or smoke, no bad habits. Ill respect you, cherish you I cant promise love, Ive tried and failed. Im not a stone, just a flawed heart.
He confessed a lifelong crush on a girl hed loved in his youth, a love that never returned. Hed held onto it, even as other women came and went, none fitting.
Emily, weary, asked, Should I have spoken to her?
No, Id just tell you I love you, more than life itself, and hope youd listen. Its not whining, just a plea. He explained how his exwife had always seen him as a brother, never a lover, and how hed left his previous partner, Inna, because he didnt love her.
Emily listened, then, after a pause, asked why hed left Inna. He answered plainly: I didnt love her.
She shrugged. Shes beautiful, smart, livelywhy not? Its not a crime.
He realized shed never truly loved him, and that he couldnt stay with a woman who didnt love him back. He eventually married.
I never roamed like a zombie, Emily, he said later. I lived, laughed, but whenever I thought of the one I truly love, love feels like a curse. I feel like a wounded man who cannot give a woman happiness. Women listen with their ears, dont be angry I cant lie.
He urged her to decide for herself, to live without wild passion. Think about it.
Emily thought it over, and a week later she met his sprawling familycheerful, welcoming, and they embraced both her and her daughter. She feared being seen as a replacement, but no one treated her with pity. Everything went smoothly. She never regretted marrying Yuri; he was reliable, their problems resolved, and she tried not to dwell on passion, focusing on a stable life together. Occasionally, a stray glance from Yuri would stir memories of his past love, but it never unsettled their marriage.
One afternoon, as the sun warmed the kitchen and Yuri washed the windows, humming softly, he paused, looked at Emily, and said, Em, you have no idea how good this feels. He kissed her, finally understanding how deeply he loved his wife. Emily thought, The old woman was rightjust wait.
Good morning, dear, he whispered. May your love, if it hasnt found you yet, flutter through your window. And if its already here, cherish it. He wrapped her in an embrace, sending warmth and kindness their way.
