I had been the unpaid housekeeper for my family, until, on the occasion of my silver wedding anniversary, I slipped away on a business trip to another country.
Eleanor Whitaker stood at the stove, stirring a pot of soup, when Stephen breezed into the kitchen and tossed a glossy invitation onto the counter.
Your school reunion, he said without looking up from his phone. Saturday.
She stared at the card: thirty years since graduation, a pretty design with gilt lettering.
Youre going, arent you? she asked, wiping her hands on her apron.
Of course. Just get yourself presentable, love, or youll look like a slob. Dont embarrass the family.
The words hit her like a cold splash. Eleanor froze, ladle in hand. Stephen turned toward the door as their sons, Matthew and Daniel, shuffled in.
Mum, whats that? Matthew asked, taking the card.
A reunion, Eleanor whispered.
Oh brilliant! And youll turn up in that eternal bathrobe? Daniel laughed.
Dont mock Mum, interjected Dorothy Whitaker, their motherinlaw, entering with the air of someone ready to dispense sage advice. She just needs a little polishdye the hair, buy a decent dress. Appear respectable.
Eleanor nodded silently and returned to the stove. A dull ache throbbed in her chest, but she kept it hidden. Twentysix years of marriage had taught her to tuck resentment deep inside.
Dinners ready, she announced half an hour later.
The family gathered around the table. The borscht was flawlesstangy just so, tender beef, fragrant herbs. Beside it lay fresh bread and little cabbage pies.
Delicious, Stephen muttered between spoonfuls.
As always, Dorothy added. You do know how to cook.
Eleanor took a few more spoonfuls and slipped away to wash the dishes. In the mirror above the sink she saw a tired face, fortyfive years old, with silver roots, laugh lines, a dimmed gaze. When had she become so old?
On Saturday she rose at five oclock. First she had to prepare the dishes each guest was to bring. She decided on a spread: solyanka, herring under a fur coat, meat and cabbage pies, and for dessert, a cloud of birdmilk mousse.
Her hands moved of their own accordchopping, mixing, baking, decorating. In the kitchen she found peace; here she was the master, immune to criticism.
Wow, look at all youve made, Matthew said, descending at eleven.
For the reunion, she replied shortly.
Bought anything new for yourself? he asked.
Eleanor glanced at the single respectable black dress hanging on a chair.
It will do.
By two oclock everything was ready. She changed, applied makeup, and even wore the earrings Stephen had given her for their tenth anniversary.
You look decent, Stephen remarked. Lets go.
Claire Irvings country house was a marvel of space. An old schoolmate who had married a businessman now entertained guests in a manor with a pool and a tennis court.
Eleanor! Claire embraced her. Youve changed hardly at all! What did you bring?
A few dishes, Eleanor placed the containers on the table.
People had gotten richer, others older, but everyone still recognised each other. Eleanor lingered at the periphery, watching former classmates brag about their successes.
Who made this solyanka? shouted Victor, the former class monitor. Its a masterpiece!
Its Eleanor, Claire pointed out.
A short man with kindly eyes approached. Lena? Do you remember me? Paul Mitchell, we sat together at the third desk.
Paul! Of course, she beamed.
You made this solyanka? Im thrilled! And those pies Ive never tasted anything better.
Thank you, Eleanor said shyly.
No, Im serious. Ive lived in Dublin for ten years; they love Russian food, there are many Russian restaurants, but Ive never seen such quality. Are you a professional chef?
Just a housewife, she replied.
Just? Paul shook his head. You have real talent.
All evening people flocked to Eleanor, asking for recipes, praising the food. For the first time in years she felt important. Needed.
Stephen, meanwhile, talked about his garage, glancing at his wife now and then with bewildered surprisewhere did this sudden popularity come from?
Monday began as usualbreakfast, cleaning, laundry. Eleanor was ironing the boys shirts when the phone rang.
Hello?
Lena? Its Paul. We met on Saturday.
Paul, hi, she said.
Ive been thinking I have a business proposal. Can we meet? Talk?
About what?
About workin Ireland. I want to open a Russiancuisine restaurant and need a coordinator. Someone with good taste to train chefs, design the menu. Salary is generous, plus a share of the profits.
Eleanor sank onto a chair, her heart hammering.
Paul, I I dont know what to say.
Think it over. Call me tomorrow, okay?
She spent the day in a fog. A restaurant in Ireland? She, a simple housewife?
At dinner she tried to explain to the family.
Guess what, they offered me a job
What job? Daniel sneered. You do nothing but cook.
They want me to cook in Dublin, in a restaurant.
Dublin? Stephen repeated. What nonsense.
Mum, are you serious? Matthew set down his fork. How old are you? Fortyeight?
Besides, Dorothy interjected, who will run the house? Cook? Clean?
Surely someones joking, Stephen waved his hand.
Eleanor fell silent. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps it was all a joke.
The next day the pattern repeated. Over breakfast Stephen examined her with a critical eye.
Youve changed, you need to exercise, he observed.
Mom, by the way, Daniel spread butter on a slice, dont come to my graduation, alright?
Why not? Eleanor asked, puzzled.
Because all the parents are so chic, and youre a bit outdated.
Daniels right, Matthew added. Dont be offended, we just dont want the kids talking about you.
Dorothy nodded in agreement.
Exactly. Women must look after themselves. In our day, they stayed beautiful into old age.
Eleanor rose, went to her room, and with trembling hands dialed Paul.
Paul? Its Eleanor. Ill do it.
Seriously? his voice crackled with joy. Eleanor, thats wonderful! But be warnedhard work, big responsibility, long hours. Ready?
Ready, she said firmly. When do I start?
In a month. Well sort the paperwork, the visa. Ill help with everything.
A month slipped by unnoticed. Eleanor processed documents, brushed up her Irish, drafted a menu. The family regarded her plan with scepticism, calling it a fleeting fancy.
Shell be home in a month or two, and realise the house is where she belongs, Stephen told his mates.
The important thing is she doesnt lose money, Dorothy echoed.
Their sons barely took her ambitions seriously. To them she was part of the décorcooking, washing, tidying. What could she do abroad?
On the day of departure Eleanor rose early, packed a weeks worth of frozen meals, left notes for laundry and cleaning. She drove alone to the airport; everyone else was occupied.
Well keep in touch, Stephen muttered as she left.
Dublin greeted her with rain and unfamiliar scents. Paul waited at arrivals with a bouquet and a wide grin.
Welcome to your new life, he said, pulling her into an embrace.
The following months blurred into one long day. Eleanor hired staff, refined the menu. She discovered she could not only cook but also manage, plan, make decisions.
The first patrons arrived after three months. The dining room was packed, a queue snaked around the room. Borscht, solyanka, dumplings, crêpeseverything vanished in seconds.
You have golden hands, Paul declared. And a sharp mind. Weve created something special.
Eleanor watched satisfied faces, heard compliments, and realised she had found herself. At fortyeight she was living anew.
Six months later Stephen called.
Lena, hows it going? When are you coming home?
Fine. Still working.
When will you return? Were barely managing here.
Hire a housekeeper.
Who, and for how much?
For the same sum I earned for twentysix years.
What do you mean?
Nothing fancy. I was a freeofcharge housewife for my family until my anniversary sent me off on a business venture abroad.
Silence lingered on the line.
Lena, can we talk properly? No hard feelings?
Serge, Im not angry. Im just living. For the first time, Im living.
Her sons reactions were similarunable to grasp a mother who suddenly became independent, successful, needed by no one but herself.
Mom, stop playing businesswoman, Matthew said. The house falls apart without you.
Learn to live on your own, Eleanor replied. Youre already twentyfive.
Stephen didnt object to divorce; it was merely a legal acknowledgment of what had already happened.
A year later the restaurant Britannia was one of Dublins hottest spots. Investors knocked on her door, TV chefs invited her onto culinary shows, critics wrote glowing reviews.
The English woman who conquered Dublin, read a headline.
Paul proposed on the restaurants anniversary. Eleanor thought long before saying yesnot because she doubted himhe was a good manbut because she cherished her independence.
I wont cook for you every day or wash your shirts, she warned.
On the second anniversary, Stephen arrived with the boys. Seeing Eleanor in a sleek business suit, receiving accolades from local celebrities, they were stunned.
Mum, you youve changed, Daniel murmured.
Beautiful, Matthew added.
Im myself now, Eleanor corrected.
Stephen spent the evening silent, stealing occasional astonished glances at his former wife. When the guests finally left, he approached her.
Im sorry, Lena. I never understood
Understand what?
That youre a person, with talent, dreams, needs. I saw you only as part of the household.
Eleanor nodded. No anger lingeredonly sadness for the years wasted.
Shall we start over? he asked.
No, Serge. My life is different now.
Today Eleanor is fifty. She runs a chain of restaurants, hosts a culinary TV programme, and her cookbook is a bestseller. Shes married to a man who values her as a person, not as free labour.
Sometimes the boys call, proud of their mother, eager to visit. She enjoys hearing them, yet no longer feels guilty for living for herself.
When she stands in the kitchen of her flagship restaurant, watches chefs whip up her signature dishes, she wonders: What if I hadnt taken that step? What if Id stayed a slob in a bathrobe?
She shoves the thought aside. Not everyone gets a second chance; she was lucky, and she used it.
Starting over at fortyeight was terrifying, but it turned out to be the only way to truly discover who she is.
