“You you I cant believe what Im hearing! It just doesnt make sense!” Emma slammed her coffee mug off the table, and it smashed against the wall, spraying cold brew everywhere. The shattered pieces fell like confetti.
“Stop losing it, love, behave like a grownup,” Tom said, keeping his voice flat, which only made her angrier. She was boiling inside while he stood there as cool as a statue. “I cant cancel this business trip, you have to understand. The promotion depends on it.”
“The promotion?!” Emma’s fury made her choke. “Your promotion always comes before us! You missed Katies graduation, didnt even ring me on my birthday after I reminded you a week in advance! And now youre jetting off to Manchester!”
“To London,” Tom blurted out before catching himself.
“To the moon, if you like!” Emma flailed her arms like a windmill. “You wont be there when our son needs his anaesthetic! When hes scared to death, when Im trembling against the wall, all because of some meaningless piece of paper you signed!”
Tom let out a whistling sigh, ran a hand over his face. Dark circles, a rough beard, but that stubborn look was still there.
“This contract is a joke Its a chance to become finance director, you know? Ive been working towards this for twentyodd years, basically my whole career. Milos operation is routine, why are you shaking? Just his tonsils, not a brain tumour.”
“Yeah, right what if something goes wrong?” Emma dug her nails into her palms. “What will we do then?”
“Nothing will happen,” Tom waved it off. “I spoke to the surgeon personally.”
“And if something does?” She was already on the ultrasound.
“Sit down!” He shrugged his shoulders. “If anything happens, Ill hop on the next flight. Remember when Katie had an appendicitis? You called me after eight hours when the doctors had already gone home!”
“Exactly!” Emma sneered. “You creep in when the dramas over!”
Tom shook his head. “Im not a rubber band, Emma. Im working my arse off so you all have what you need. Remember how you nagged about the new flat? Lets move, the neighbours are noisy, the gardens a mess, the tube is far”
“Wouldve been better living in a council flat!” she snapped. “With a decent husband who actually sees his kids sometimes, not just on Sunday afternoons!”
Tom flopped onto a chair, the whole ninety kilos of him crashing onto the seat.
“Listen, we agreed on this, didnt we? Youre at home with the kids, the house, the cosy life. Im at work, pulling the strings, bringing the money in. What changed?”
Emma opened her mouth to unleash a tirade, but the front door burst open. Kids voices shouted, backpacks thudded onto the floor.
“Fine, well talk later,” she muttered, pushing past the kitchen with a forced smile that made her cheeks ache.
Tom opened his laptop. He still had to finish the presentation before evening, his head a foggy mess with not a single clear thought.
Later, after the children were asleep, Emma sat at the kitchen table scrolling through her phone, halfasleep. She wasnt crying, just felt numb. Twentytwo years of marriage, and every year the relationship seemed more like a balance sheet: income, expenses, assets, liabilities. When did it all get so complicated?
Tom slipped into the kitchen and sat opposite her in silence.
Coffee? she asked without looking up.
Sure, he said. Emma, we need to talk.
About what? she clicked the kettle on. Its all obvious. Youre flying out the day after tomorrow. Milo and I will be at the hospital alone.
Listen, Tom placed his hands on her shoulders gently. I know this is hard for you, but its really important to me.
More important than us? Emma turned to him, her eyes tired rather than angry.
Its all for you, he whispered. Everything I do is for you.
No, Tom, she shook her head. Its all for you. For your ego, for your career. Were the ones on the backburner.
Thats not true, he tried to protest.
It is. Remember when Milo said about his operation, Good thing its during dads trip, otherwise hed be stressing about work. Hes eleven and already adapting to your schedule.
Tom stood there, speechless.
And Katie asked yesterday if youd come to her university graduation next year. Not because she wants to see you, but because shes scared youll be busy with something important again.
Ill try to be there, Tom mumbled.
Try, Emma echoed. Always try. And you know when I realised youd chosen work over me? When I had a miscarriage ten years ago. You flew in two days later, after a meeting in China.
You had a meeting in China, Tom repeated. I was in a negotiation.
Yes, you were. And I was alone with a dead baby.
She turned to the coffee grinder, measured out beans methodically.
You never mentioned that, Tom said softly.
What would that change? Emma shrugged. Youd apologise, promise it wont happen again, and then do the same tomorrow.
Tom rubbed his nose with his fingers. Maybe talk to someone. A therapist?
Sure, Emma smirked. The problem is me, right? Not that youve become a cashmachine for the family, but that Im not positive about it?
Thats not what I meant, Tom shook his head. You dramatise everything.
Dramatising? When was the last time you attended a parentteacher meeting? Do you even know who Milos form teacher is? Whats Katie working on for her dissertation?
Tom stayed silent.
Im saying youve missed our lives, Tom. And you keep missing them, Emma placed a cup of coffee in front of him and sat down. Youve been absent, and youre still going to be.
Tom took a sip, grimaced at the bitternessjust like every time Emma was upset.
I could take a summer holiday, he offered. We could go somewhere as a family.
Katies off to Brighton with friends, Emma reminded him. Milos signed up for a football camp.
You could have told me before I started planning! Toms voice finally cracked with irritation.
I warned you, twice. You said fine, plan it, well see later. We planned.
Tom rubbed his eyes. Sorry, I dont recall.
Whats scarier? Emma looked over his shoulder. That Im starting to realise Im happier without you. When youre home I keep hoping youll be there in spirit, not just in the bank account, and I keep getting disappointed.
What do you want from me? To quit the promotion? To quit my job?
I want a dad, not just a provider. I want a husband, not just a flatmate who occasionally sleeps over.
I cant drop my career at fifty, Tom said firmly. Its too late to start over.
Nobodys asking you to quit. Just find a balance.
Im trying! He raised his voice, then softened again, remembering the sleeping kids. I really am, Emma. But my role
Your role, your salary, your responsibilitiesI know the song by heart. The kids grow up and you dont even see them. Neither do I.
Youre being unfair, Tom said. Ive always tried to spend weekends with the family.
When there wasnt an urgent deadline, Emma added. Which was about once a month.
Silence fell. Outside, traffic hummed, the clock ticked, the fridge buzzed.
I cant cancel the trip, Tom finally said. But Ill ask to shift it a day later so I can take Milo to the hospital.
You already bought the tickets, Emma reminded him.
Ill change them, he said resolutely. And Ill call every hour until they tell me the operation went well.
Think thatll fix everything? Emma smirked.
No, Tom admitted. But its a start. I dont want to lose you, Emma. I really dont.
The thing is, youre already losing us, she whispered. I dont know if it can be mended.
The hospital corridor buzzed with voices and footfalls. Emma sat on a hard chair outside the operating theatre, fidgeting with her bag strap. Milo had been in there for over an hour, though the surgeon promised it would be under forty minutes.
Katie was glued to her phone, but Emma caught her glancing nervously at the doors.
Wheres dad? Katie asked, eyes still on the screen.
You know hes on a business trip, Emma replied.
He promised to call, Katie added.
Emma glanced at her watch. Hes probably in a meeting, forgot.
Typical, Katie muttered.
Just then the surgeon in a green mask emerged, smiling.
It went well, he said. Milos in recovery, should be moved to a ward soon. You can visit in an hour.
Thank you, doctor, Emma breathed, tears of relief spilling over.
Katie squeezed her mums hand tightly.
Tell dad to call, she said.
Emma grabbed her phone, dialed Tom, but got voicemail. Hes not picking up. Ill text him.
She typed: Operation went fine. Milos in recovery, doctor says hes okay.
No reply came in the next five minutes, nor in the halfhour that followed while they nibbled tea and sandwiches in the staff room.
Mom, are you and dad getting a divorce? Katie suddenly asked, staring at her cup.
Where did that come from? Emma asked, stunned.
You argue all the time, like you think we dont hear, Katie shrugged. And dads never home. You always look sad when he leaves.
Emma stared at her daughter. When had Katie become so observant?
Were just going through a rough patch, Emma said gently. It doesnt mean we dont love each other.
Vicky from class said the same, Katie added. Then her parents split up.
Emma didnt know what to say. How do you feel about that? she asked.
I dont know. Itd be sad if dad left, but hes hardly ever home anyway, so maybe nothing changes, Katie replied.
Nobodys going anywhere, Emma said, though she wasnt so sure herself.
The phone buzzed a message from Tom: Sorry, was in a meeting. Hows Milo? When can we visit?
Dad wrote? Katie asked, and Emma nodded. What did he say?
He asked about Milo, Emma typed back: Can visit in half an hour. Video call?
Sure, came the reply. As soon as Im free.
Emma set the phone down and sighed. Hes busy, huh? Katie asked.
Hell call back when he can, Emma said. You know your dad.
I do, Katie said quietly. Remember when we went to the seaside when I was nine and Milo was three?
Yes, Emma smiled. You ate icecream every day and swam till you were blueeyed.
And dad was with us all week, Katie continued. We went to the aquarium, took a boat ride, even hiked. Why cant that happen now?
I dont know, love, Emma admitted. Things have changed.
Probably for the worse, Katie sighed. Dads always busy.
Emma wanted to argue that Tom loved them and tried hard, but she couldnt. Katie was right. Things really had gotten worse.
When Emma got back home, after leaving Katie to keep an eye on Milo, the flat was quiet. She slipped off her shoes, set her bag down, poured herself a glass of water and stared out the window.
The phone rang. She flinched. The caller ID showed Tom.
Hey, his tired voice said. Hows Milo?
Okay, Emma replied. His temperatures a bit up, but the doctor says thats normal. Katies staying with him.
Thats good, Tom said. Hes got a caring sister.
Yeah, Emma agreed. At least someones looking after him.
An awkward pause.
Emma, you know Id fly over if I could, but this deal he started.
I get it, she cut in. You dont need to explain.
You do, Tom insisted. You think I chose work over you. Thats not true.
So what then? Emma pressed. Explain.
I I dont know how to put it. It just happened. I got used to working so much, it became part of me. I dont know any other way.
What about the family?
Youre everything to me, Tom said quietly. I lost my balance somewhere on the road. I spent too much time on the job and not enough on you. I get that now, Emma, and I want to fix it.
How? she asked. What are you offering?
I talked to senior management, Tom said. If I get the promotion, Ill be able to delegate more, have more free time.
And if you dont? Emma replied. Because its always if.
Then Ill look for another role or cut my hours, he said firmly. Youre right, Ive missed too much. I dont want to miss any more.
Emma stayed quiet. Shed heard promises like this a lot before.
I love you, Tom said. And the kids. I want us to be a family, not just people sharing a roof.
I want that too, Emma answered. But I dont know if its possible.
Lets at least try, Tom suggested. I promise Ill really try.
She glanced at a photo on the kitchen table: the four of them on a sunny beach, laughing. That was five years ago, a different life.
Okay, she said finally. Lets give it a go.
Thanks, Tom breathed a sigh of relief. Ill call Milo before I go to sleep. Tomorrow Ill be back as soon as the paperworks signed.
Alright, Emma nodded, even though he couldnt see her. Ill tell Milo.
She hung up and sat at the table a while longer, looking at that picture. Would they make it? Could Tom really change, or would things fall back into the same old rhythmhim at work, her with the kids, endless waiting for a better day?
She didnt know. But for the first time in ages, she heard genuine intent in his voice. Maybe that was enough for a start.
Milo drew a big silver airplane with blue wings and dark windows.
Look, thats dads plane, he said, showing the picture to Emma. Hell fly it to us.
Beautiful, Emma smiled. Hows your throat?
A little sore, Milo admitted. The doctor said I can have icecream.
For healing? Emma teased. Then lets go to the café and get you some. Dont tell dad Im spoiling you.
I wont, Milo promised. Will dad really come?
Of course, Emma assured. He promised.
Milo thought for a moment. Im actually glad I had the operation. Now dad will be with us.
Emma stroked his head, feeling a lump rise in her throat.
Yes, love, she said. Dad will be here.
She wasnt sure if Tom would keep his promise. She wasnt sure if their family could ever be what it once was. But for the first time in a long while she felt a spark of hope.
Maybe people can change. Maybe work and family can coexist without one crushing the other.
Maybe this time hell choose them over his job.
Milo added a tiny figure to the plane.
Thats dad waving at us, he said.
Emma smiled. Yes, thats dad. Hes coming home.
