Don’t meddle, it’s my life!
You live off the money while I scrape by in holes! Youre a grandmother! And a mother! Can’t you help at least once? Kate snapped, hurt.
The absurdity was that at that very moment Kate was sitting at her mothers kitchen table. Valerie Whitmore had thrown together a quick but decent spread: sandwiches with homecured ham, thick slices of cheddar and smoked salmon, fresh rolls from the corner bakery. A bowl of fruit sat nearbygrapes, pomegranate seeds, clementines. No exotic pineappletopped berries, but the guest was being served properly.
Her grandson watched cartoons in the lounge, dressed in the new onesie his grandmother had bought a few days earlier.
Kate, dont ruin the comedy, Valerie said, irritated. I put shoes on your son, dress him, drive him to his earlylearning classes, even buy his medicine. He lives entirely on me. Is it never enough for you?
Of course its your grandson. Who else? We and Daniel cant even figure out where the next pound will come from. Mortgages, council tax, utilities, nursery fees after all that, whats left barely covers bread and pasta.
And what does that have to do with me? Did I take out the loans for you? Or force you to have children? Did you sell the flat because of me? You told me not to interfere, so I stayed out. Now you expect me to owe you something else?
Mum! Kate frowned. Look at how we survive! I cant even do my own nail polish because the bottle is empty. My boots are falling apart; a single puddle leaves my feet soaked and I get sick. Daniel has only one decent shirt left. Were not living, were just getting by. And you decide to raise me! Its easy for you, you have salmon for breakfast every day!
Valerie listened, lips pressed together. She knew she was partly to blameher love had been overprotective. But money alone wouldnt fix things; consequences had to be faced.
Kate, havent I given you enough in life? the woman said, narrowing her eyes. You had everything. You wanted a touchscreen phone when everyone still used button phonesyou got it. You asked for a mink coatbought it. I gave you a home. Youre no longer a little girl; you must fend for yourself now.
Kate puffed up in spite and turned away, just as in childhood when a new toy was denied because there was no room.
Valerie recalled little Kate racing around the flat in a shiny tracksuit, a brandnew computer in her room, a box with a camera tucked in a wardrobea New Years gift. Kates wishes changed as quickly as the pounds exchange rate. One day she wanted to be a photographer, the next a hairdresser, then an actress. Valerie was constantly opening her purse and signing her up for extra lessons.
Let the girl enjoy herself. Childhood only comes once, her husband Paul would say, chuckling.
Paul, a respected officer in the local regiment, earned enough that the family never lacked. Valerie also worked, though more for the joy of it. She could have retired at home but preferred to stay active and useful in the community.
I want to try felting wool! Kate declared one afternoon after watching a YouTube video.
So Valerie took her to a craft shop and handed her a basket. In half an hour it was overflowing with colourful wool.
Other parents might have handed over a couple of skeins and the cheapest needles, but Valerie believed wholeheartedly that her daughters development was sacred. They could afford it, so why not?
Kate threw herself into each new hobby with zest, only to drop it weeks later for something else. It embarrassed Valerie, yet she trusted that her daughter was simply exploring. Kate grew accustomed to getting whatever she wanted with a click.
Then Paul died, leaving Valerie alone. She mourned, but at least the ground under her feet felt firm. Paul had left her a sizeable estate. The interest from the savings could have allowed her to live comfortably, yet she kept working until health issues forced her to stop.
Kates conscience was clear. She paid for her daughters university in London, bought a onebedroom flat in a new development, and oversaw a thorough renovation. After that, Valerie decided she had checked every box on the good mother list. Ive given her everything she needs to start. Ill help while she studies, then shell manage on her own, she resolved firmly.
But things did not go as planned.
Kate had just entered her second year when she announced she had a boyfriend. Daniel, too, owned an iPhonethough not the newest modeland was broke, his parents equally welloff. He wore a smug grin and seemed completely unprepared for adult life.
Kate, finish your studies first, Valerie warned after Kate introduced Daniel. If you want to live together, go ahead, but dont rush. Get a qualification, stand on your own feet, then think about a family.
Mum, stay out of it, Kate retorted, frowning. This is my life.
Valerie kept her distance, yet Kates life unfolded far from her expectations.
At first everything seemed lovely. They lived in Kates flat; Valerie paid the council tax and gave pocket money for food and clothes. The young couple simply enjoyed life, bingewatching series and strolling until dawn.
Then Daniel quit university, claiming it was pointless.
I enrolled because my parents wanted me to, he said. Now its just a waste of time. I wont follow that path.
Soon after, Kate dropped out too. It wasnt for the same lofty reasons.
Mum, Im pregnant, she said over the phone one day. Daniel and I have talked it over. Ill have the baby. Ill probably take a break from studies, see what comes next.
Kate Valerie sighed, covering her face with a hand, then held back. If thats your decision, go ahead.
Will you help us? Kate asked, hopeful.
Ill help the baby, but youre adults now. You already have more than I did at your age. Figure it out yourselves, Valerie replied, though her chest tightened.
A silence stretched.
Right youve always been difficult.
Kate hung up.
There were tantrums, manipulations, careful probing of limits. Kate complained about a broken fridge, a wornout coat, low haemoglobin from poor diet. Valerie only reacted to the last, and then only because Kate was pregnant and nursing.
My grandson shouldnt suffer because his parents are fools, she muttered, hauling groceries.
Then Kate dropped another bombshell.
Weve decided to sell the flat and move into a twobedroom, she announced.
Kate think it over. The baby will still be with you.
No, Mum. Weve decided. We also want a wedding, a honeymooneverything proper.
Valerie gritted her teeth but didnt intervene.
Money slipped through their fingers. A wedding with a banquet and photographer, the latest iPhones, laptops, a Turkish holiday, a deposit on a mortgage the young couple even took out loans.
Mortgage payments ballooned. Credits multiplied. Soon Kate complained she was short of cash by months end. Valerie continued to supply everything for her grandsonformula, puree, nappies. For six months he lived with her.
Daniel got a job as a camera operator and does courier work on the side. Ill try remote work too; well manage. Can you look after little Leo for a while? Kate asked.
Valerie agreed, but only to a point. The child had everything he needed. For the adults she could only offer advice, which they would likely ignore.
Kate stared out the window, then turned to her mother.
If you dont help, Ill take Leo away, she threatened. And youll never see him again.
Valerie laughed, though anxiety settled deep inside.
Fine. Lets see how quickly you get fired and what youll survive on. At least you have money for nursery, right?
Kate huffed, breathing heavily, unable to argue. In a few days she would have to return to her mother with an outstretched hand as another bill loomed.
You had everything. Im not to blame for you blowing it, Valerie continued. And you want to drag Leo and me down with you? No. Youre adults; fend for yourselves.
Kate left her sandwiches untouched, rose, grabbed her coat, and walked out. Valerie didnt try to stop her.
When the door shut, Valerie slipped into the living room. Leo slept on the sofa, clutching a plush owl pillow. She switched off the TV so he wouldnt wake. Id move mountains for him, she thought, but for the two of them let life be the teacher.
In the end, the story shows that love and good intentions cannot replace personal responsibility. Those who never learn to stand on their own feet eventually find that even the strongest support can only hold them so long. The true lesson is that freedom comes with the duty to manage ones own choices, not to lean forever on anothers generosity.
