I’ve Always Dreamed of Being in My Brother’s Shoes, But Soon Everything Changed

I always imagined myself in my brothers shoes, but things changed quickly.
My mother got pregnant with me when she was eighteen. As soon as my father learned the news, he walked outhe didnt want a family, only endless parties and friends. My mothers parents, my grandparents, were livid. In a small town outside Lille, having a child out of wedlock was seen as a disgrace, and my grandfather drove my mother out of the house shouting, I will never see such an irresponsible girl again! I cant even picture what she enduredso young, alone, a baby in her arms. Yet she persevered: she enrolled in a correspondence university, found work, and threw herself into it. She was assigned a room in a dormitory, and the two of us began our life together. I had to grow up faster than other kidsI did the shopping, the cleaning, reheated meals. Playing? There was no time for that. From an early age I became her pillar, her only man.
I never complainedI was proud of it. Then Victor appeared in our lives. I liked him; he brought chocolates, pleased Mom, and took care of her. She glowed when he was around, and one day she announced, Victor and I are getting married and moving into a big house. I was thrilledI dreamed of having a real father figure and hoped Victor would fill that role. At first everything was wonderful. I finally had my own space to rest, listen to music, read books. Victor helped Mom, and his eyes shone with happiness.
Soon Mom told us she was pregnant. Not long after, Victor said, Youll have to move into the little storage room. Thatll be the babys bedroom. I didnt understandwhy me, when the house was huge? The next day my belongings were already crammed into a tiny corner that could only fit a single bed. It felt unfair, but I kept quiet, accustomed to enduring.
When my little brother Michel was born, the nightmare began. His cries stole my sleep, and I drifted through days like a zombie. My school grades collapsed, teachers scolded me, and Mom shouted, Youre supposed to be a role model for your brother! Stop bringing shame on us, lazy boy! As Michel grew, more duties piled onto metaking him to the park, pushing his stroller. The other kids teased me; I blushed with shame but stayed silent. Everything nicetoys, clotheswent to Michel. When I asked for something for myself, Victor snapped, No money. I dropped Michel at daycare, fetched him, cooked, cleaned the houseliving only for the day he would grow up and free me.
When Michel started school, Mom ordered me to help him with his homework. He was spoiled and capricious, did his work poorly, and every time I tried to correct him, he complained to Mom. She always defended him, and I was reprimanded, Youre the eldest; you must be more patient! He bounced from school to school, failing everywhere. Eventually he was placed in a private school where his poor grades were overlooked for a fee. I enrolled in a mechanic training programnot by choice, but to escape the house.
Then came distance learning and workday and night shifts, saving for my own place. I got married, found peace. And Michel? Victor gave him an apartment, yet he still lives with our parents, rents out the place, and squanders the money. He refuses to work, lounging before the TV. One New Years Eve we gathered at Moms house. His latest girlfriend, Léa, was there, and I overheard their conversation in the kitchen.
Youre lucky with your brother, she told my wife, Marie. Stanislas is a real hardworker, responsible. Why isnt Michel like that? I ask him to live together, start a family, but he clings to his mother. The rent money doesnt help us at all.
Yes, Stan is wonderful, Marie replied with a smile. Forget about Michel; he doesnt deserve you. Hell never be a good husband.
I stood frozen. Michel shuffled from one shortterm girlfriend to another, none lastingMom drove them all away, deeming them unfit for her golden boy. He never resisted, staying wrapped in his laziness like a cocoon. Then I realized I no longer envied him. All the fantasies of being him were empty air. Fate threw hardships my way, but it also rewarded me. I have a family, a loving wife, a daughter, a home I built with my own hands. I am proud of myself, and for the first time I rejoice that I am not Michel. My life is my hardwon, genuine victory.