I’ve Always Dreamed of Being in My Brother’s Shoes, But Everything Soon Took a Turn

I always imagined myself in my brothers shoes, but everything shifted quickly.
My mother became pregnant with me when she was eighteen. As soon as my father learned the news, he lefthe didnt want a family, only endless parties and friends. My mothers parents, my grandparents, were outraged. In a small town near Lille, having a child out of wedlock was seen as a disgrace, and my grandfather chased my mother from his house, shouting, I never want to see such an irresponsible girl again! I cant fathom what she enduredso young, alone, a baby in her arms. Yet she persevered: she enrolled in a correspondence university, found work, and threw herself into it. She was given a room in a shelter, and the two of us began our life together. I had to grow up faster than other kidsI did the shopping, the cleaning, reheated meals. Playtime? There was none. From an early age, I became her pillar, her only man.
I never complainedI was proud of it. Then Victor entered our lives. I liked him; he brought chocolates, pleased Mom, and took care of her. She glowed when he was around, and one day she told me, Victor and I are getting married and well move into a big house. I was thrilledI dreamed of having a real father and hoped Victor would fill that role. At first everything seemed wonderful. I finally had my own space to rest, listen to music, read books. Victor helped Mom, and his eyes shone with happiness.
Soon she announced she was pregnant. Not long after, Victor told me, Youll have to move into the little storage room; thatll be the babys bedroom. I didnt understandwhy me, when the house was large? The next day my belongings were already piled into a tiny corner that could fit only a single bed. It felt unfair, but I kept quiet, accustomed to bearing hardship.
When my little brother Michel was born, the nightmare began. His cries kept me up, turning me into a walking zombie. My school grades fell, teachers scolded me, and Mom shouted, You must be a role model for your brother! Stop bringing shame on us, lazy one! As Michel grew, more duties fell on metaking him to the park, pushing his stroller. Others mocked me; I blushed with shame but stayed silent. The best toys and clothes went to Michel. When I asked for anything for myself, Victor replied coldly, No money. I dropped Michel at the nursery, collected him, cooked, cleanedthe housewaiting for him to grow up so I could finally be free.
When Michel started school, Mom ordered me to help with his homework. He was spoiled, ficklehe performed poorly, and whenever I tried to correct him he complained to Mom. She always defended him, and I was reprimanded: Youre the elder, you must be more patient! He bounced from one school to another, failing everywhere. Eventually he was placed in a private school where his bad grades were overlooked for a fee. I pursued a mechanic apprenticeshipnot by choice, but to escape home.
After that came online courses and nonstop workday and night, saving for my own place. I got married, found peace. And Michel? Victor gave him an apartment, yet he still lives with our parents, rents out the place and squanders the money. He refuses to work, lounging in front of the TV. One New Years Eve we gathered at my parents house. His latest girlfriend, Léa, was there. I overheard their conversation in the kitchen.
Youre lucky to have your brother, she said to my wife, Marie. Stan is a true hardworker, responsible. Why isnt Michel like that? I ask him to live together, start a family, but he clings to his mother. The rent money does us no good.
Yes, Stan is wonderful, Marie smiled. Forget about Michel; he doesnt deserve you. Hell never be a good husband.
I stood frozen. Michel flitted from one girlfriend to another like changing shirts, but none stayedMom chased them all away, deeming them unworthy of her golden boy. He never resisted, living in his laziness as if in a cocoon. In that moment I realized I no longer envied him. All the fantasies I hadbeing in his placewere empty wind. Fate gave me trials, but it also rewarded me. I have a family, a loving wife, a daughter, a home I built with my own hands. I am proud of myself, and for the first time Im glad Im not Michel. My life is my hardwon, genuine victory.