I have always dreamed of being in my brothers shoes, but everything soon shifted.
My mother became pregnant with me when she was eighteen. As soon as my father learned the news, he left ushe wanted no family, only endless parties and friends. My mothers parents, my grandparents, were furious. In a small town near Lille, having a child out of wedlock was deemed a disgrace, and my grandfather drove my mother out, shouting, I never want to see such an irresponsible girl again! I cant even picture what she enduredso young, alone, a baby cradled in her arms. Yet she persevered: she enrolled in a correspondence university, secured a job, and gave herself everything she had. She was assigned a room in a boarding house, and the two of us began our life together. I had to grow up faster than other kidsI did the shopping, the cleaning, reheated meals. Playtime? There was none. From an early age, I became her pillar, her only man.
I never complainedI was proud of it. Then Victor entered our lives. I liked him; he brought chocolates, pleased Mom, took care of her. She glowed beside him, and one day she told me, Victor and I will marry and move into a big house. I was delightedI dreamed of having a real father figure, and I hoped Victor would be that. At first everything was wonderful. I had my own space, could rest, listen to music, read books. Victor helped Mom, and his eyes sparkled with joy.
Soon after, she announced she was expecting a child. Not long after, Victor said, Youll have to move into the pantry. That will be the babys room. I didnt understand the house was large, why me? The next day my belongings were already piled into a tiny corner that fit only a single bed. It felt unfair, but I kept silentaccustomed to bearing it.
When my little brother Michel was born, the nightmare began. His cries kept me awake; I drifted through days like a zombie. My school grades plummeted, teachers scolded me, and Mom shouted, You must be an example for your brother! Stop bringing shame, lazy one! Michel grew, and new duties were thrust upon metaking him to the park, pushing his stroller. Others mocked me, I blushed with shame, yet I stayed quiet. Everything besttoys, clotheswent to Michel. When I asked for something for myself, Victor answered curtly, No money. I dropped Michel off at daycare, picked him up, cooked, cleaned the housewaiting for him to grow up so I could finally be free.
When Michel started school, Mom ordered me to help with his homework. He was spoiled, capricioushe performed poorly, and my attempts to correct him ended with complaints to Mom. She always defended him, and I was reprimanded: Youre the elder, you must be more patient! He bounced from school to school, failing everywhere. Eventually he was placed in a private school, where poor grades were overlooked for a fee. I pursued a mechanic trainingnot by choice, but to escape home.
Then came distance learning and workI labored day and night, saving for my own place. I married, found peace. And Michel? Victor gave him an apartment, yet he still lives with our parents, rents the place, and squanders money. He refuses to work, lounging in front of the TV. One New Years gathering at my parents house, his latest girlfriend, Léa, was present. I overheard their conversation in the kitchen.
Youre lucky with your brother, she said to my wife, Marie. Stanislas is a true hard worker, responsible. Why isnt Michel like that? I ask him to live together, start a family, but he clings to his mother. The rental income does us no good.
Yes, Stan is wonderful, Marie replied, smiling. Forget Michel, he doesnt deserve you. Hell never be a good husband.
I stood frozen. Michel switched girlfriends as often as shirts, but none stayedMom chased them all away, deeming them unfit for her golden boy. He never resisted, living in his laziness like a cocoon. Then I realized: I no longer envied him. All I had ever wished forbeing in his placewas nothing but wind. Fate gave me trials, but it also rewarded me. I have a family, a loving wife, a daughter, a home I built with my own hands. I am proud of myself, and for the first time I rejoice that I am not Michel. My life is my hardwon, genuine victory.
