And then the server went down, and we had to wait half a day for the IT lads to get it back up! The order almost went off the rails; can you imagine the loss?
Emma found herself, once more, halflistening to James. They were at a little café across from her office, his voice drifting about some new project at work. She watched his fingers fidget with a napkin and realised that after six months together she still hadnt met his family.
She was thirty, the age when you stop flirting with romance and start craving a bit of certainty. James was a decent bloke hardworking, attentive, reliable. A month ago hed popped the question in the very café where they first met. Emma said yes, but a nervous knot had already settled in her stomach.
Whenever she tried to bring up his parents, James would dodge. Hed turn the chat to the weather, or claim something urgent had come up. Emma chalked it up to shyness maybe he was embarrassed about his modest upbringing, or simply wasnt used to sharing personal details.
Listen, when am I finally going to meet your parents? Emma asked, pushing her nowlukewarm coffee aside.
James tensed. The napkin in his fingers turned into a crumpled wad. He met her gaze, a flash of worry flickering across his eyes.
Lets go this weekend, he said after a pause.
Relief rushed through Emmas chest, washing away the doubts. At last! She could already picture herself stepping into Jamess family home, his mother wrapping her in a hug and calling her sweetheart, the three of them sharing tea and scones around a big wooden table.
The days leading up to the weekend were spent hunting for the perfect presents. She roamed three shopping centres, eventually picking a luxurious silk shawl and a bottle of French perfume for Jamess mother, a quality tool set for his dad the sort of thing any bloke would drool over and a stylish handbag for his sister, one Emma herself had been eyeing for ages.
On Saturday morning Emma rose at six, squeezed in a shower, did her hair, applied a light touch of makeup, and slipped into a sleek kneelength beige dress with classic heels. She twirled before the mirror, gave herself a approving nod. Perfect thats how a future daughterinlaw should look.
James slipped into the car in silence. Emma started the engine and merged onto the Aroad. The radio played something gently melodic, while roadside cafés and petrol stations flickered past the windows. She smiled, daydreaming about the upcoming meeting, while James kept a tightlipped stare.
You look a bit glum, Emma said, throwing him a quick glance. Nervous?
Just dont mind if things go a bit sideways, okay? James clenched his fists on his knees.
Emma furrowed her brow and shifted gears.
What do you mean sideways? What could possibly go wrong?
Theyre particular, he muttered, looking out the window. Just keep that in mind.
She wanted to press further, but the GPS announced a left turn. The village they were heading for was tiny perhaps a dozen houses strung along a single lane. The road wove between sagging fences and neat garden plots, finally stopping at an old wooden cottage with peeling paint on its shutters.
Emma turned off the engine and looked around. The yard was a bit of a mess grass growing wherever it pleased, a pile of firewood in the corner, some rusty tools leaning against a shed. She forced a smile; it wasnt the house that mattered, but the people inside.
On the porch were three figures an elderly woman in a faded dressing gown, a man in a stretchedout Tshirt, and a twentysomething girl with a sceptical expression.
Finally youre here, Jamess mother said, eyeing Emma with a measuring look.
Emma stepped forward, extending her hand.
Hello. Its a pleasure to finally meet you.
The mother gave a halfhearted shake, the father only nodded, and the sister crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes.
Emma turned back to the car to fetch the gift bags. She lifted the boot, reached in, and at that moment a loud hiss cut through the air.
From behind the cottages corner burst a massive white goose, the size of a small dog, with a long, twisting neck and eyes that seemed to plot revenge. It barreled straight at Emma, spreadwinged and beak wide.
What the Emma leapt aside, sending the perfume bottle tumbling to the ground.
The goose didnt slow down. It swooped at her with a fury she hadnt expected from a domestic bird. Its wings knocked at her legs, its beak gave a painful nip to her calves. Emma scrambled toward the car door, but the goose pursued, giving her no quarter.
James! she shouted, trying to dodge another lunge.
James stepped forward hesitantly, when a boisterous laugh erupted from the porch a deep, rolling chuckle full of mischief.
Oh, she didnt pass the test! Jamess mother cried, clutching her belly from laughing so hard. Look, look! Gosh has exposed her!
Jamess sister snorted, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
A real woman wouldnt be scared of a goose, she sneered. Look at her, hiding in her fancy dress.
Jamess father whipped out his phone and began filming, his face lit up with delight as if this were the most entertaining thing of the month.
James, do something! Emma pleaded, swatting at the bird, but it struck again, pecking at her ankles and flapping at her hips.
James moved forward, waving his arms uselessly. The goose paused for a split second, but then his mother shouted sharply, Dont interfere! Let Gosh sort it out! He sniffs out bad people!
James froze, stared at his mother, then at Emma, and stepped back, retreating to the porch where his family stood.
Emma leaned against the car, cornered by the goose, her dress stained, her shoes slipping on the uneven ground, red marks from the birds bites. She stared at James, his mother, his sister, his father still filming, and a cold dread settled in her chest.
Shed been deliberately humiliated this wasnt a mishap, it was a test. A cruel, petty trial set up by Jamess family to put her in her place, while James watched helplessly.
With a sudden burst, Emma dove back into the car. The goose pecked at the window for a few more seconds, then lost interest and strutted off, puffed up with triumph.
James approached the car and knocked on the window. Emma lowered it just a few centimetres.
Emma, calm down, please, he blurted. Its just a family tradition a little test for the bridetobe. Mum does this all the time, you know, to check character.
Emma met his eyes, fingers tightening on the steering wheel. Inside her swirled hurt, anger, disappointment.
There wont be a wedding, she said softly, but firmly.
James blinked, as if shed spoken gibberish.
What? Emma, what are you saying? It was just a joke
No wedding, Emma repeated, sliding the wedding ring off her finger and holding it up to the tiny opening in the window. Take it.
Youve gone mad! James protested, trying to open the door, but it was locked. Dont be foolish. Lets talk.
Theres nothing left to say.
She turned the key, the engine growled, and the car lurched forward. James lingered, clutching the ring, bewildered. Emma put the car in reverse, backed out, and drove toward the exit. In the rearview mirror she caught a glimpse of his family still laughing on the porch.
The first few miles she drove on autopilot, barely noticing the countryside flashing by. Her hands trembled on the wheel, her heart thumped in her throat, tears welled up, but she brushed them away. Shed cry at home, not now, she told herself.
That evening her phone rang nonstop. James called again and again, sent apologetic texts, begged for a second chance. Emma read them without replying. Once she answered, his frantic, apologetic voice filled the line, and she hung up immediately.
A week later she blocked his number on every messaging app, deleted every photo of them together, tossed away his Tshirt, the book hed lent her, the coffee mug.
Life slipped back into its usual rhythm work, catchups with friends, the gym. She tried not to think about the goose, but at night she still saw its angry eyes and heard his familys raucous laughter.
A month later a friend mentioned shed heard from mutual acquaintances that James had married a village girl his mother approved of straight away. No geese, no tests.
Emma listened, feeling a light relief. The goose, the familys mockery, had shown her the truth before she tied her life to them. She ran her fingertip over the empty spot where the ring had sat, smiled, and thought, Everything turned out for the best.
