The server crashed right in the middle of the afternoon, and we spent half a day waiting for the IT guys in London to get it back up. The order almost fell through can you imagine the loss?
Emily found herself, yet again, listening to Andrew halfheartedly. They were at a little café opposite her office in Shoreditch. He was rambling about some new project at work, while she watched his fingers fidget with a napkin, wondering why, after six months together, she still hadnt met his family.
She was thirty, the age when romance feels a bit tired and certainty suddenly seems more attractive. Andrew was a decent bloke diligent, attentive, reliable. A month ago hed popped the question in that same café where they first met. Emily said yes, but a nervous flutter settled deep inside.
Every time she tried to bring up his parents, Andrew found a way to dodge the subject. Hed change the topic to the weather, or claim an urgent deadline. Emily chalked it up to shyness perhaps he was embarrassed about his modest upbringing, or simply wasnt used to sharing personal details.
Listen, when am I finally going to meet your parents? Emily asked, pushing away her nowlukewarm latte.
Andrew stiffened. The napkin in his fingers turned into a crumpled ball. He met her gaze, a flicker of unease crossing his eyes.
This weekend, well go, he said after a pause.
Joy surged through Emily like a wave, washing away all doubts. At last! She could already picture herself stepping into Andrews family home, his mother hugging her, calling her sweetheart, and them all teaing over a large table with scones.
The days leading up to the weekend became a whirlwind of preparation. She toured three shopping centres hunting for perfect gifts. For Andrews mother she bought an elegant silk shawl and a bottle of French perfume. For his father a highquality toolbox that any bloke would drool over. For his sister a stylish leather handbag shed been eyeballing herself.
On Saturday morning Emily rose at six to make the schedule. Shower, hair, makeup. She chose a sleek kneelength beige dress and classic heels you can never go wrong with timeless style. She twirled before the mirror, gave herself a nod of approval. Perfect. Thats how a future daughterinlaw should look.
Andrew slipped into the car in silence. Emily turned the key, pulled onto the A1. Soft, lyrical music drifted from the radio as roadside cafés and petrol stations flickered past. She smiled, daydreaming about the upcoming introduction, while Andrew kept a tense stare out the window.
Why so glum? Emily asked, shooting him a quick look. Nervous?
Just, Andrew clenched his fists on his knees. Dont worry if anything goes wrong, okay?
She furrowed her brow and shifted gears.
What do you mean go wrong? What could possibly go wrong?
Theyre particular, he muttered, turning toward the window. Just keep that in mind.
Before Emily could press further, the GPS announced a left turn. The village they were heading for was a tiny dot of a dozen houses stretched along a single lane. The road weaved between sagging fences and overgrown gardens, finally stopping at an aging wooden house with peeling paint on its shutters.
Emily turned the engine off and took in the scene. The yard was a mess grass grew haphazardly, a stack of firewood huddled in one corner, rusted tools littered the shed. She forced a smile. It was never the wealth that mattered, but the people.
On the porch three figures waited: an elderly woman in a faded housecoat, a man in a stretchedout Tshirt, and a twentysomething sister with a skeptical look.
Here we are, Andrews mother said, eyeing Emily with a thinlyveiled assessment.
Emily stepped forward, extending a hand.
Hello, Im delighted to finally meet you.
The mother gave a halfhearted shake, the father merely nodded, and the sister crossed her arms, squinting as if shed rather be anywhere else.
Emily turned to the boot to pull out the gift bags. She lifted the lid, leaned in for the parcels, and at that moment heard a loud hissing.
From behind the house burst a massive white goose, as big as a small dog, with a long, twisting neck and an expression that could curdle milk. It barreled straight at Emily, wings flaring, beak wide open.
What the Emily leapt aside, sending the perfume bottle crashing to the ground.
The goose didnt pause. It charged with a ferocity Emily hadnt expected from a farm bird, flapping its wings at her legs and snapping its beak at her calves. She stumbled, tried to slam the car door, but the goose pursued her with relentless gusto.
Andrew! she yelled, ducking another swoop.
Andrew stepped forward hesitantly, but a raucous laugh erupted behind him, booming and mischievous.
Oh, she didnt pass the test! his mother shrieked, clutching her sides with laughter. Look, look! Gosh has caught her out!
Andrews sister snorted, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
Real women wouldnt be scared of a goose, she sniped. This ones trembling in her fancy dress.
Andrews father whipped out his phone and started filming, his face lit up like a kid at a circus.
Andrew, do something! Emily pleaded, swatting at the bird, but it kept assaulting her, pecking at her shins, slapping her thighs with its wings.
Andrew lunged again, waving his arms vaguely, and the goose momentarily distracted itself, but his mother shouted sharply:
Dont interfere! Let Gosh sort it out! He can sniff out bad people!
Andrew froze, stared at his mother, then at Emily, and obediently stepped back, retreating to the porch where his family stood, still laughing.
Emily pressed her back against the car, the goose cornering her. Her dress was speckled with soot, her heels slipping in the uneven grass, bloodred bite marks on her calves. She stared at Andrew, his mother, his sister, his father with his phone, and a cold dread settled over her.
They were humiliating her on purpose. It wasnt a mishap; it was a test a cruel, sadistic trial staged by Andrews family to put her in her place. And Andrew just watched.
With a frantic yank, Emily dived into the car. The goose pecked at the glass for a few more seconds, then lost interest, strutting away proudly around the yard.
Andrew approached the window, knocked lightly. Emily lowered the glass a few centimetres.
Emily, calm down, please, he said hurriedly. Its just a family tradition. A little character test for brides. Mum always does it.
Emily stared straight into Andrews eyes. Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Inside, hurt, anger, and disappointment swirled.
There will be no wedding, she said quietly but firmly.
Andrew blinked, as if he hadnt heard.
What? Emily, what are you? It was just a joke
No wedding, she repeated, slipping the engagement ring off her finger and sliding it through the tiny gap in the window. Take it.
Youve gone mad! Andrew shouted, trying to open the door, but it was locked. Dont be foolish! Lets talk.
Theres nothing left to say.
She turned the engine on, the car growled, and the vehicle shuddered. Andrew lingered, clutching the ring in his palm, bewildered. Emily reversed, backed out of the driveway, and sped toward the exit. In the rearview mirror she caught the silhouettes of his family on the porch, still laughing.
The first few miles she drove on autopilot, the scenery blurring past. Her hands trembled on the wheel, her heart thumped somewhere in her throat. Tears welled up, but she brushed them away. Shed cry later, at home.
That evening her phone buzzed nonstop. Andrew called again and again, left apologetic texts, begged for another chance. Emily read them, never replied. Once she answered, heard his hurried, guilty voice, and immediately hung up.
A week later she blocked his number on every messenger, deleted photos of them together, threw away the tiny reminders of Andrew his Tshirt, the novel hed lent her, the chipped mug.
Life slid back into its ordinary rhythm: work, coffee with friends, the gym. She tried not to think about the goose, but sometimes, drifting off to sleep, she still saw its angry eyes and heard his familys mocking laughter.
A month later a friend whispered some gossip shed heard through mutual acquaintances. Andrew had married a country girl his mother approved of instantly. No geese, no tests.
Emily listened, feeling a lightness rather than pain. The goose, the family, their cruel amusement had shown her the truth before shed ever tied her life to theirs. She ran her finger over the spot where the ring had been, smiled, and thought, Everything turned out just fine.
