Ill never forget how Lucy Harpers life fell apart so early. Her father had died long before, and while she was on her final year at the University of Manchester she lost her mother too. It was a brutal time she still had a dissertation to defend, but grief loomed over everything. The only people who stepped in were James Harpers parents, the only family she had left.
James and Lucy had been classmates since the third year, and his parents, Margaret and Peter Harper, took to her with genuine warmth. They respected her mothers memory and treated Lucy as one of their own. Everyone hoped that once the degree was in hand the two would marry.
The wedding was modest, and Lucy was heartbroken that her mother never got to see the day. She kept recalling the words her mother had given her before the ceremony: Make sure you get a full health check, love. Her mothers warning wasnt idle. As a child Lucy had suffered a serious injury after slipping down an icy slope. Doctors had feared it might affect her future womanly health, and while they monitored her, no one could give her a definite answer.
That uncertainty lingered. Before the wedding Lucy obeyed her mothers advice and underwent another examination. Though the overall recovery was good, the question of whether she could bear children remained open.
She first spoke to her future motherinlaw, who thought it over and said, If theres even the slightest chance, dont lose hope. Ill talk to James about it. After a stag night, James came home a little tipsy and visibly upset.
I want children, Lucy, do you understand? If we cant have them, whats the point of us being a family? he asked, his voice cracking. Lucy broke down and said that the decision was his, but that they could try. The doctors left a sliver of hope, and James was the only man shed ever loved.
The first year of marriage brought no positive news. Margaret worried as much as Lucy, whom she had grown to love like a daughter. James and his father put a great deal of effort into keeping the marriage afloat and sent Lucy to a specialist clinic in Bristol that ran a Womens Shield programme. The treatment showed promise, but it didnt change their fate.
Two years later the reality became clear: there was no hope of a natural pregnancy. Lucy fell into despair. James supported her as best he could, yet tension crept into the household. James didnt blame Lucy, but he also couldnt accept a childfree life. Lucy suggested adopting a baby.
Lets take a little one in and raise him as our own, she proposed.
James refused outright. I could never call another person my son, and I dont think I could love him as a father. Understand me, Lucy. I just cant do that.
Strangely, his parents sided with him. They knew how much James dreamed of having a child of his own and felt it would be wrong to raise a child who might grow up feeling unloved.
Lucy herself broached divorce, though she still loved James and didnt want to hurt him. Lets part ways, James. Youre still young; youll find another wife and have children. He hesitated, but when he met Olivia, a vibrant new colleague who had just joined the firm, he felt his future shift.
The conversation with Lucy was painful for James. He thought he was betraying her, leaving her to fate, and she replied, We each have our own destiny, James. You deserve a better future. Dont blame yourself. That very night James packed his things and left the house. Margaret and Peter dropped by, apologising for not having steadied James.
Lucy, were sorry we couldnt guide him better. You remember hed sometimes stay over after a night out, a bit drunk and upset. We feared hed drown his sorrows, and that wouldnt help either of you. They offered tea, spoke from the heart, and promised never to turn their backs on her. They reminded her shed always be like a daughter to them.
All the comforting words did little; Lucy thanked them and wept through the night. Their assets were split quickly, and Lucy was left alone in the family flat shed shared with James. James remarried soon after.
Lucy didnt stay single for long. A kindhearted man named Paul Whitaker entered her life, doing everything he could to look after her. Yet Lucy never loved him. Her former husband haunted her dreams, his face always sorrowful, his eyes sad, his hands reaching for her but never quite touching.
Winter hit hard, and Lucy fell seriously ill. One evening she was at Pauls, having cooked dinner and tidied up, when she started feeling faint. By nightfall her temperature spiked. Paul called an ambulance and kept her company till the paramedics arrived. The next morning he was quiet, tending to her without a word. When she finally felt better, he confessed, That night I never left your side. You kept calling his name, clutching my hand, calling him Jimmy, begging me not to go. Do you still love him?
Lucy didnt try to spare his feelings. Yes. I love him. I think Im monogamous. Its hard, Paul. I cant build a relationship without love. She left him for good, and he didnt argue.
Soon after, Lucy learned that James had finally welcomed a longawaited son. The news struck her like another blow; the pain felt as if a part of her had been ripped away forever.
For three years she drifted in a fog. Occasionally Jamess parents visited, keeping their promise to support her emotionally. She bore no grudge against them or against James. One day she saw James in a park with his son, Eddie, but didnt approach; he didnt notice her. The old ache resurfaced, a mixture of lingering love and bitterness toward fate.
Gradually, though, Lucy began to pull herself together. The most important thing was that James seemed happy. His parents spoke of his wife as caring, though they kept a polite distance. They adored little Eddie and urged Lucy not to hold any ill will.
I dont hold any resentment, Lucy told them. James never deceived me; he loved in his own way. I insisted on the divorce myself. On her birthday, James called out of the blue, just as a friend would, wishing her well and asking how life was treating her. That call unsettled her again; she decided it was best to keep her distance.
A year later tragedy struck: Olivia, Jamess wife, fell ill. Margaret phoned her, saying there was little hope left, and wept for her son and grandson. Lucy felt a pang of sorrow for them and visited the cemetery, standing behind the rows of graves, unsure why she was there but unable to stay away. A former motherinlaw embraced her and whispered, Thank you, dear. Theres no malice in your heart. James never saw her that day. He called months later, brief, asking if she could drop by. Lucy agreed, thinking he might need some company.
He had changed. Time had taken its toll on his youthful vigor. We sat at a modest table, talking about life.
Why havent you married again? he asked.
Lucy answered simply, I still love you, and I dont need anyone else. Jamess eyes filled with tears, a sight Lucy had never witnessed before.
Lets go to the Harpers house; I need to pick up Eddie. Then we can take a walk, if youre okay with it. Eddie was a sweet, shy lad, understandable given the loss of his mother at such a tender age. Lucy tried to stay neutral, not intruding, while he studied her with quiet curiosity.
Their meetings grew regular, almost every weekend, with no promises attachedjust two people easing their loneliness. One afternoon, Margaret called, saying James was thinking of asking Lucy to come back. He was still grieving, the year had been hard, and the child suffered.
Lucy immediately called James and said shed return. There was no one else she cherished more. They moved in together again, though the atmosphere was cold and James remained reticent. Lucy had to learn how to love a child who wasnt hers.
On Lucys next birthday, Eddie presented her with a drawing of the three of them under a sunny sky, the childs tiny hand scribbling the word Mum above them. Lucy broke down, hugging the boy, and whispered, Your mother watches over you from above and smiles at how wonderful you are. I love you too. Youre my son now.
They now live together peacefully. James has thawed, embraced Lucys love, and returned to his caring self. Lucy finally feels the happiness she chased for years in solitude.
She never was a devout believer, but sometimes she visits the local church and lights a candle for the woman who left this world but gave her a beloved son and a loving husband.
