Emily was a somewhat oldfashioned young woman who longed to get married. Modern girls seemed content with a single sausage rather than a whole pig in the kitchen, and sausages of every sort and size were now everywhere. Living together without the word marriage attached no longer carried the shame it once did. Morals, pride, and a sense of propriety felt like relics of a bygone era.
Even the lazy, wellheeled gentleman who once symbolised idleness was no longer scorned; after all, his family sent him a regular allowance from the estatehe was a rentier, after all. Give a smartphone to a former factory foreman and he instantly becomes a successful influencer with a polished online persona. As for relationships, the new mantra is live as you wish: meet in hotels, rent rooms by the hourwhatever the market offers. Some couples even opt for a guest marriage without ever stepping into the registry office, fearing what might surface after the vows. What once were trivial annoyancesmismatched socks or a failed cabbage soupnow seem trivial compared to childishness, momcomplexes, and endless procrastination on the part of men.
And, of course, both sexes have their own checklist beyond bread and entertainment: youre expected to bake your own bread, go shopping, and keep the house in order.
Emily was a pleasant exception. She was attractive, free of any modern tuningno exaggerated enhancements. She held a respectable university degree, a good job, and a decent salary, yet men passed her by, pairing off with others as if she were invisible. Still, she wasnt without admirers; she was pretty, after all. It was just that none of those suitors made it to the registry, and she was approaching her thirtieth birthday. In the old days, a woman of that age was deemed past her prime; today, the primebearing window stretches to sixty.
Emily also believed in horoscopeswell, more precisely, in astrological forecasts. She thought they were clever inventions by opportunists looking to make a quick buck. During uncertain times, the predictions were all upbeat: On Tuesday morning youll meet a wealthy magnate! She even kept a toothbrush handy, just in case he had serious intentions.
Being a Sagittarius, Emily searched for a partner whose sign matched the fire elementAries or Leoconsidered the most eventempered of the fire signs. Her first love bloomed in her first year at university, an age now dismissed as infancy for adults. Back then, sex education was sparse, and teenagers were left to their own devices.
Soon, reality set in: she had to pay council tax, bus fares, and buy food. For the first time she realized she had to shop for groceries herself, not raid a roommates fridge. Previously her parents had supported her financially, but now, living alone, two people worth of expenses was a strain.
Her boyfriend, Dave, was baffled. Arent you the one buying the groceries? he asked. Why me? Emily replied. The fridge is yours, and Im not the homeowner, Dave explained, a perfectly logical chain of thought. If its just that, Emily said, I can hand you the reinsmanage the house as you wish! Predictably, Dave vanished from her life, even stopped saying hello in class.
The marriage register never saw their names, but Emily kept making plans. She loved Davehe was her first serious boyfriend. Youth, however, kept moving forward, and a second steady suitor appeared during her third year of university. This time it wasnt a fellow student but a man named Simon, a little over thirty, who declared, Well marry, darling! He was divorced, but love, he thought, knew no bounds.
Simon, however, lacked stable employment. This was before the latest economic crises and the special operations that now dominate headlines. Yet his unemployment wasnt a oneoff; his bosses were unreasonable, his hours brutal, and his wages meagre. He tried to juggle work and house hunting, often telling Emily, Im looking, love! when asked about his job prospects.
Emily suggested he take a delivery job. Im an analyst, he boasted. Can an analyst be a courier? she asked. Sure, go deliver and analyse as you pleasewhos stopping you? he retorted. She replied, Ive spent my last pounds on groceries. Ask your mother, he said, tell her were in temporary hardship. Ive been saying that for two months! Emily shot back. Time is a long thing, he quoted a poet, patting his chest as if his intellect proved everything.
Simons mumbling, Dont ask me for food then, left Emily frustrated. She reminded him that times had changed and suggested he move on. Their argument escalated, with Simon accusing her of suggesting he leg it, and Emily retorting with a witty comeback. Their verbal sparring grew into a fullblown feud, especially when Simon, a Capricorn known for diligence, tried to claim he was the perfect partner.
A third suitor, Liam, also a believer in astrology, met Emily on an online zodiac forum. Their chats blossomed into genuine affection, though he kept referring to their signs as zodiacs in a clumsy way. Why do you twist the word? Emily asked. Its funny! he replied. Her grandmothers old saying echoed in her mind: You cant have everything arranged without me. Liams linguistic quirksmixing up names and inventing odd nicknamesannoyed her after a while, but their jobs were stable, and he had an adult son from a previous marriage.
At a family gathering, Emilys grandfatheran exintelligence officer with Polish rootsburst out, Jesus, Mary! and scolded Liam for calling another guest something nonsensical. The incident was a reminder that even wellintentioned plans could go awry.
Liam, a Taurus, shared Earths grounded nature with the Capricorn in Simon. Taurus, however, is famously touchyprone. Eventually Emily met Peter, a divorced, childfree, goodlooking, financially comfortable man with a sharp wit and a modest flat. He was born under Virgo, another Earth sign famed for thrift and practicalitytraits ideal for a longterm partnership.
They applied to register their partnership. Peter asked to be registered at Emilys address. Why? she asked. Youre already registered at yours! Peter protested. We love each other, were a family now, everything should be shared! Emily laughed, recalling a joke: Write me onto your lease, pleaseoh, sorry, I meant, do you believe in God? Peter, flustered, agreed, Alright, Ill register you, youll register me. Where? he asked. In my flatnow everythings ours! But you dont live there! he retorted. If thats the issue, lets alternate months: my place one month, yours the next, Emily suggested, trying to keep peace while feeling the arrangement was absurd.
Peter fell silent; the clever solution hed expected didnt materialise. He fidgeted, unable to counter. Well? Emily pressed, eyes on his face. Very reasonable, he muttered. The notion of registering a stranger in ones home felt absurd, yet they both knew they were trying to make a traditional step work in modern times.
After a tense dinner, Peter leaned over and asked, Emily, fancy a film? She smiled, Sure! He sighed in reliefhed even put a deposit down for a restaurant reservation. Will you register me, Peter? she asked. Im not sure we finished that conversation. He looked away, shuffled out, and didnt wait for her to stop him. Their wedding never materialised; the registration never happened.
Two of Emilys friends had marriedone for half a year, the other for a yearwhile the third was still on the brink. Emily herself had lived more than a month with a few civil partners, and love had been there, albeit fleeting. Love, she realised, was less about fluttering emotions and more about deeds and commitments. In a country where no one is bad, she learned that not all suitors truly loved her.
When Emily turned thirtyone, she stopped chasing marriage. She earned a promotion, upgraded her grandmothers tiny flat to a twobedroom house, bought a reliable secondhand car, and took a short holiday. She concluded that life had turned out well. Modern medicine now extended the childbearing years to sixty, and sausages of every flavour still lined the shelves.
Through all the twists, Emily discovered that true contentment comes not from ticking boxes on a societal checklist but from embracing ones own path, valuing genuine effort over hollow promises. In the end, the lesson was clear: love is proven by what we do, not merely by what we say.
